difficult behavior at school

Tamika - posted on 12/16/2009 ( 2 moms have responded )

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i am having trouble with my six year old's behavior in school. i have tried discipline, i have tried talking, i have tried punishment, i have even tried bribes but nothing is working. this is her first year in school and she should be excited but all she seems to want to do is play, color, and stay home with her sister and brother. wat should i do. is there anybody who has had these problems that may be able to help me?????

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Adriane - posted on 12/17/2009

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I have problem with my son in school ever since he started. I too have disciplined, tried talking, punishment, behavior charts, reward tokens, counselors, doctors, 123 magic, you name it and I have tried it. We ended up getting him tested and they diagnosed him with ADHD. I still struggle with him. He is on medication and currently sees a psychologist. I am not saying that your child has ADHD. But it might be worthwhile to have her tested, it may be something that she cant control if so, then you can find things that will work for her. 123 magic works well for my son, and so does the token system.

The token system is a game we play daily. Basically I tell him that he is my employee and he has a job, his job are daily activities and chores. Basically anything you want them to improve. Instead of pointing out all the negaitve things you reward them with points (I use tokens). Each day they accumalate so many of them and each day they have to use their points to do the things the enjoy i.e. watching tv, playing with friends, games, treats at the store ect. If they dont accumulate the points then they cant purchase those things. You see they are never really in trouble for the little things but they cant do the things they enjoy if they aren't making money. You simply ask them how much money they have when they want to do something and if they dont have enough you say I'm sorry you dont have enough money, I really hope you can earn enough money for next time. You tell them that you want them to have lots of "money" which you do...LOL.
After a while they start to catch on and want to earn there points. My son gets bonus points for good behavior at school. And we write out a goal that we want to do like going to chucky cheese or the doing a science project. After he reaches his goal he gets the reward. Start small. But make sure that they live pay check to pay check. They can also create a savings account with their points and start to save towards something they want.
Good luck- I still struggle, but will never give up. :)

Terris - posted on 12/16/2009

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Hi Tamika, have you tried visits with her and the class, nothing major, just a pop in, get to know what she is learning and her peers. Or special times that you and her can have quiet time to chat about what she learned and have her demonstrate. Something to make her a little move independent and seem as if she was a BIG girl. We had to do this for our daughter, whom is eight years old now, and love school. Let me know if this works!

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