Discipline for school age children

Kimberly - posted on 03/07/2013 ( 8 moms have responded )

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My parents have told me that I can not fully ground my 6 almost 7 year old. I need some advice from other moms with school age kids. When you ground a child, I always thought that meant, everything gets taken away with conversations about what had happened. Any advice on the best discipline action for being written up at school for inaproppriate behavior? Thank you in advance

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Bobbi Jean - posted on 03/11/2013

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I highly recomend the book "Parenting With Love And Logic." Very effective. As for the rest, keep doing what you are doing. You are the one in the best position to make the decisions--sounds like you are doing fine. : )

Julie - posted on 03/09/2013

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I don't believe in "grounding" because the terms of punishment is given after the crime. This doesn't allow the child to chose risking anything for bad behavior.
My 8 year old knows he can "earn a play date every FRI. If he has a "good week". This incentive is brought up as a reminder should he act up or lag on responsibilities. He has missed the play dates and it was rough to see him disappointed in himself, but when he earns the play date he feels very proud :)

Amy - posted on 03/07/2013

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I guess it depends what they did wrong and how they respond to getting in trouble. My son would be devastated if he got written up so his punishment would probably be minimal since it would be out of character for him. If it was happening frequently I would take away privliges such as using the computer, tv, and gaming systems. I would also take away any fun activities ie sleep overs or any outings that may be planned.

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Kelly - posted on 03/18/2013

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We have grounded my 6yr old step-daughter once. Every now and then, she comes home with something other than a star on her calendar for that day. Her mom generally doesn't see it as a problem, so discipline usually falls to us. Her bad days are usually because she talks when she's supposed to be listening to the teacher.

While we did have her write an apology letter on one occasion, have a conversation about it with her has been fairly effective. It helps that she made a new friend who won't let her get a word in edgewise. *Now* she understands how annoying and disrespectful it is when someone else won't let you speak.

That said, when she came home with a slash mark for pushing another child on the playground, it required more than a conversation.

The only benefit of having a blended family is that every conversation happens at least twice. When my husband picked her up from school, they had a long conversation about it. And when they picked me up from work, we had another long conversation about it. We decided to ground her for the weekend. The only thing she was not allowed to do was watch tv. No television at all Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. She cried and complained for a little bit. ("But...*sniffle* tv's my *sniffle**gasp* favorite thing *sniffle* to do!!!) And then she went outside and played with her friends.

Was she miserable and thinking about not being allowed to watch TV all weekend? No. But on Saturday night before bedtime, when we normally watch a movie together, she had to find something else to do. She spent the weekend outside playing with her friends and practicing good social skills. And she knows that if she ever does something like that again, the punishment will be more severe.

All in all, I think that if YOUR discipline strategy works for YOU and YOUR family and YOUR child, don't let anyone tell you you're doing it wrong.

Valerie - posted on 03/11/2013

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Kids don't play outside on their own anymore. How does the term "grounded" mean anything??

Brandy - posted on 03/10/2013

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Most definitely you can ground your 7 year old. That is what grounding is, taking away their video game time and making them read, taking away their fun time or playing with friends. Many conversations about what happened the entire time they are grounded. I have an 8 year old son that has ADHD (off and on severe), I ground him from the video games and even from being able to play with others. Isolation (alone time) seems to work for children at these ages because they love playing with others and being around others. You are doing a great job, you are a good mom. DOn't let anyone including your parents make you second guess yourself.

DeAnn - posted on 03/09/2013

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As long as your child understands her bounderies & that when she crosses those bounderies, she knows what punishments to expect. You also don't want to keep them in their room with nothing the entire time they are grounded throughout their childhood... I grew up like that & it made me not WANT to be around my family more & more as I got older just because I would get grounded from EVERYTHING for doing petty things (mostly I think to keep me home I think). I resented my parents & didn't care about spending time with family.

Kimberly - posted on 03/07/2013

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Hi Amy, thank you for reassuring me. It has happened before in the past and that is why I feel it should be more. I just wanted another oppinion besides my parents, who have not had to deal with this for so many years.

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