Does anyone battle with their 5yr old on a daily basis - help I no longer have the answers

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Hey, I just finished reading "If I Have To Tell You One More Time" by Amy McCready. She talks about kids using battles and power struggles to gain a sense of significance and belonging in their families.
She's not the best writer (there are a lot of needless paragraphs and over explanation), but the information is over all well organized and easy to implement. And the advice is truly good--It is a perspective that we often overlook.

Jodi - posted on 09/29/2011

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Ok, I do understand. I guess I am lucky - my daughter's school has a uniform, so clothing isn't a battle (She is 6). I don't fight it on weekends either. I don't really care - I just let her express herself. As long as it is sensible for the weather. So I have made it clear to her she can wear what she chooses, as long as it is sensible. We have a deal. If I make a general suggestion, she now takes it into account.

With the hair, I had that same battle a couple of years ago. I made it clear to her it would be cut if she wouldn't allow me to brush it and tie it up for school (good prevention for head lice). She still kicked up a fuss, and the next time she went for a trim, it was cut shorter and in a more manageable style (ie... don't care if it isn't brushed). She wasn't happy. But at that age, that lasts about 10 minutes. Ever since, she has absolutely allowed me to brush her hair, and she has also learned to tie it up herself. Her hair is now past her shoulder blades, and she is so keen to grow it longer that she will brush it several times a day herself and is learning to try and braid her own hair.

Laura - posted on 09/29/2011

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Thank you ladies - my daughter is very strong willed. I do pick my battles but it seems that there is a battle for everything when she decides she is not cooperating. It is the simple everyday battles, brushing hair, getting dressed, getting ready for school.....the things that need to be done everyday and it becomes frustrating to have to deal with it everyday. She is her own person and likes to do things on her own time - I guess I am going to hope for this stage to pass - wish me luck

Tamara - posted on 09/28/2011

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You need to ask yourself is this hurting him, you, one of his/her siblings or another person? if not let it go, let them have their fit. as Jodi said pick your battles, you are teaching them that its better to fight then work things out them selves, and there is no other solution to the problem at hand. also anger is the best emotion to have.

Jodi - posted on 09/28/2011

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No....my daughter is 6 and she is extremely strong willed. You need to pick your battles. Decide which ones are important, and let the rest go. What sort of battles are you talking about? Sometimes there are simple ways to make the issues less of a battle, or to eliminate the battle altogether.

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