Ex husbands paralegal girlfriend driving me crazy

Sarah - posted on 06/23/2013 ( 5 moms have responded )

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My ex husbands girlfriend is a paralegal in bankrupty/forclosures but she is always guiding him on how to act and speak to me and since he tends to say things that make himself look bad from a legal aspect she has now tried taking over for anything that needs to be communicated between me and him. I have had no problems with her for the past year she has always treated my children very well and been cordial with me. Recently my ex took me to court to lower his child support which was reduced by $600 a month (we have 3 children) and now I am only recieving a whopping $300 a month. I didnt think much of him taking me to court because he has always been irresponsible for being financially reposinsible for our children and even argued with the Judge at our final hearing about why he should be responsible at all for them financially if they are only with him for 28% of the time. My issue now is that since the support got lowered I would think he would be happy and leave me alone but now his girlfriend is using her legal jargon on me and my family in every way possible through her speech, text etc I guess she is trying to be intimidating to get what she wants but now she is arguing with me about wanting my children more than what me and my ex husbands divorce agreement says. Shes fighting me about having them on holidays in which it clearly says they belong with me. She will act sweet and polite and as soon as you tell her no to something she does a 180 into a complete witch and starts blowing up my phone with text messages stating that "Im harassing my ex husband" and "Im initiating contact with her" and using all these phrases that frankly she cant support in any way because they arent true but its getting very obnoxious and aggravating to deal with. How can I put an end to her ignorant and annoying behavior? I have spoken to local police officers multiple times and had them come to my house to document the times my ex husband has been aggressive while dropping off the kids at my house, and the nagging text messages him and his girlfriend send me all the time they have suggested I get a restraining order on her so that she will not have to be invlolved and hopefully will put an end to the stress. Before she came along he was irresponsible but we did always find ways to compromise when it came to the kids. She aggravates situations so much to the point that I dont even want to communicate with him anymore period. What can be done to resolve the issues any ideas???

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 06/24/2013

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You are well within your rights to have a restraining order/no contact order for her.

And, while you're at it, you can also use her legal jargon against her. She's demanding that you bring your kids over more often? That's a violation of a court ordered visitation arrangement. If she's that good as a paralegal, she should know the consequences of violating a court order and be encouraging your ex to go through the correct channels.

Go for the no contact order. Document each and every time she contacts you. Print the texts, keep recordings of voice mails, present all to your attorneys and let them handle her.

Nicola - posted on 06/27/2013

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Id cut off all contact with her.
If she texts, I wouldn't bother giving her any control by responding.
If she calls, either don't answer or be polite and try to end the conversation by saying that your busy and will think about it.

Focus on adoring your children. She sounds like she craves the upper hand and has to always have the last say.

It's more about her lack of self esteem and her immaturity than whats best for the family unit.

Maintain your place as your beautiful children's mother. You've 3 kids and she is throwing her weight around to be noticed.

If you find it hard and desperately want to text back or fight for your position with this woman. WAIT! And tell yourself that you will think about how you would like to respond after a day or 2.

It sounds like your being BAITED, she will be keeping all texts and correspondence.

Give her nothing!

Wishing you peace of mind xx

Ruth - posted on 06/27/2013

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Court orders are court orders. Period. If your exhusband or his girlfriend (which she should NOT be involved in the first place) has anything to dispute regarding the court order, they can dispute it in court. Neither one of them have the right to harass you via phone or in person. If they do, a simple restraining order against either one of them will take care of the problem for you. You will have to go to court to make the restraining order stick for a while. If you want the visitation to cease as well, state that whatever behavior they are exhibiting towards you, makes you fearful for your children as well. If they are doing it in front of the kids, that will stick no problem.

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Here it is. She is his girlfriend, not his wife. She has no legal standing. I suggest you start learning some legal jargon and using to protect yourself Some of what she is doing can be described as harassment.

Carol - posted on 06/26/2013

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Can you change the location of the exchanges to your local police stations? That will eliminate the drama in front of the kids and hopefully make them behave. There is no reason you have to respond to anything she says. Make it clear to your ex that you will deal with him only and block her number. Can you request that all 3 of you attend therapy together? It will help iron out the differences and any bad behavior will be recorded by a neutral 3rd party. I'd think that a court would welcome a parent that is trying to do what's in the best interest of the kids.

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