failure?

Rayanne - posted on 08/26/2009 ( 6 moms have responded )

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Am I the only mother who feels like a failure but can't really pinpoint things any further than that? My kids are healthy and happy and smart, I just feel like I've failed them somewhere along the line.

6 Comments

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Kelly - posted on 08/29/2009

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You mean your not perfect? Congratulations, you are a good mother. Worrying about failing your kids is sooooo normal. My suggestion would be 1. Give yourself a break. The only perfect one I know is God himself. Just look at the kids. 2. Take a Parenting Enrichment class

Jessie - posted on 08/26/2009

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healthy, happy, smart kids
Well done Rayanne!!
But I do know how you feel. Its the I should of or could of done this or that better for them. One day I was just having one of those days where I couldn't do anything right, the house wasn't spotless, I'd forgotten to take something out for tea....... and my mum came over. I was pointing out all that was wrong and she gave me a hug and told me to look at my kids. They were playing happily in the back yard and she said nothing else really matters. I still have those days but mum just put it into perspective for me.
Our job as mums is to make sure our kids are happy and healthy and if they are I can't see how you've failed at all.

Jennifer - posted on 08/26/2009

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Yes, I often feel the same way. I think it is a combination of exhaustion, perfectionism and unrealistic expectations set by our culture as viewed through the media.

I basically feel most of the time that if I am not perfectly thin and well-groomed; with an immaculate and welcoming house; a hefty bank balance; a successful happy husband ;AND polite, well-balanced children that have every opportunity available to them, that I have somehow failed everyone. It takes a lot of work to stop the negative thoughts! Just remember -- Good enough is really GOOD ENOUGH! Life will throw you curves and perfectionism is not real or the road to happiness. Also, remember to take some time for just you! Go to the movies with friends, get a massage, play a sport. Whatever makes YOU happy. It is not selfish, it will help you spread happiness to your kids too. Hope this helps! Jen

Patricia - posted on 08/26/2009

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For starters.... no mother feels or thinks they are the best... coz .... its a never ending stream.... so along the line.... let it waver its ok..... we are all i'm-perfect mothers... we are learning every second of our mothering... remember it never did come with a manual of do's and don't. Go easy on yourself... be a ease as you say your kids are healthy happy and smart...there that merits your being a Good Mother.... relax more. we are all doing the best we know how...

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You need to look at the positive side, beautiful kids, smart, greatest gift God can give and he chose you, how could you be a failure? I think sometimes as mom's we are so busy putting everyone else first we forget about ourselves. You have accomplished a lot others haven't, God does not give his children to everyone! You were chosen because you are special.

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