Feel Horrible

Carrie - posted on 10/24/2011 ( 13 moms have responded )

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I'm feeling absolutely horrible, we took my son to the dentist and found out he has 2 cavaties. He is only 4 years old. They said it is due to fruit snacks. I'm dreading the day he has to go in to get them fixed. He loved the dentist before this, and I'm now afraid that he is going to absolutely hate it. I know it's not the worst thing that could have happened, but I just feel like a huge failure right now. I'm trying to figrue out what to say to him to make it somewhat better the day he goes.

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Becky - posted on 10/26/2011

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Can I just tell you that I think it's crap that your dentist told you he had cavaties because of fruit snacks. My son is 7, and has had 6 month check ups for the past 2 years. Everytime he goes, there's at least one cavity, or one forming. His 2 sisters are complete opposites and receive clean bills of health every time. I told their dentist about my concerns because he brushes, flosses, and uses kids mouthwash just like his sister's do. She told me that some kids are more prone to having soft teeth, resulting in more cavaties. My nephew has the same problem, he has caps on his back teeth, he's 4. A frined's mother also had the same problem as an adult. My son doesn't have a problem going, and the stuff they use to fill the cavaties seems a heck of a lot easier than it use to be. If this dentist isn't catered to kids, or doesn't do well with them, I would try and find another one. Because no doctor, dentist, ect. should make a child uncomfortable, or make you feel like crap.

Denikka - posted on 10/26/2011

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Everyone's teeth are different. My mom, when she was young, couldn't get cavities if she TRIED. She regularly went through chunks of time of not brushing, not flossing, eating candy/sugar filled everything, drinking pop etc, and absolutely nothing. Had gorgeous teeth.
My brothers and sisters on the other hand, could get their teeth professionally cleaned every day, never eat ANYTHING with sugar or acid and STILL get cavities.

I will say that fruit snacks are not good for your teeth. Because of the fact that they're sticky and don't dissolve easily. They get stuck not only in the crown of your molars, but also in between your teeth.
Things like caramels and any other sticky foods aren't all that great for your teeth. Neither are things like spaghetti sauce (acidic) etc.
If your son is prone to cavities, I would suggest upping the frequency of brushing. It may help for him to brush his teeth after every time he has something to eat. Even chewing sugarless gum or eating an apple after other things can help :)
It's not your fault though. Don't blame yourself :)

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Andrea - posted on 11/07/2011

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As long as he's brushing his teeth at night and in the morning, don't worry that it's your fault. My older son has horrible teeth but my younger one is 9 and never had a cavity. I spent years thinking it was my fault until a) I realized that they eat the same diet and brush the same and b) talked to my MiL. My MiL told me that all of my husband's siblings have horrible teeth as well as MiL and her siblings. The most important thing you can do now is to have sealant applied as soon as his adult teeth come in. My older son's adult teeth are fine due to sealant.

Lori - posted on 11/06/2011

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I think the point Becky is making is that for some kids, they are simply cavity prone. Like she mentioned, if you your have 3 kids and they all basically get fed and brushed the same, but one gets cavities and the others don't, there are sometimes factors beyond what you eat, like genetics. Of course, fruit snacks have zero nutritional value and are sugar, so might cause cavities in some kids, but other kids could eat fruit snacks every day and not get cavities. I don't think Becky is recommending that or anything. But my initial reaction was similar, in that I don't think they have any idea what actually is causing the cavities, so to say otherwise I think is overinflating their expertise. It could be fruit snacks or it could be anything he eats, or it could be nothing he eats. They may eliminate fruit snacks and he could still get cavities. I agree they should try eliminating fruit snacks and see if it works. But if it doesn't, I hope no parent thinks these things are always in their control, because sometimes they aren't in your control, even if your child never eats sugar and brushes 5 tmes a day, some would still develop cavities.

Lori - posted on 11/06/2011

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I know how you feel. I felt the same way when my son got cavities at age 2! Especially since his older sister has never had a cavity in her life. But now they are 12 and 8 - My 12 year ld has still never had a cavity. But when my 8 year old son was 2, his molars came in without the normal enamel. So he had to have several large fillings. They gave him this happy juice to drink and make him sleepy (kind of like being drunk is how it looked). Then they worked on him while he was not completely out, so yes, he did cry while he got the work done, but that is better in some ways, because the dentist knows he is doing fine, breathing fine, etc, if he is crying or awake. So he had that whole experience at age 2 and still NEVER minded going to the dentist after that. I think the "happy juice" sort of helps them not remember it. Try to find a really good pediatric dentist, ask friends who have actually had work done, not just gone for visits and x-rays! Any dentist can do x-rays and count their teeth, but you need a really good dentist who does work under partial or complete sedation all the time. Our dentist does it about 3 or 4 times every day! All his morning appointments are pretty much work under sedation... So look for sedation dentistry, but only a good pediatric or children's dentist. I wish you well... Plus, I don't think they know if it is from fruit snacks. It could be from anything. Also, it is genetic, you can have one kid who gets cavities and one who never does and they eat the same exact thing. Some kids just get cavities. Of course if people don't brush the kids teeth or let them sleep with a bottle, etc... any kid can get cavioties under bad care. But if you are doing pretty good wioth caring for their teeth, it is most likely genetic and possible your child will have cavities every year or two throughout their life even if they brush and floss well twice a day! But always good to try your best! God bless... (-: Lori

Janelle - posted on 10/31/2011

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Dont feel horrible even though I know where you are coming from. The dentist is the only one who can make it right and and just explain that to your child its your job to take them to the dentist and the dentist's job to help them keep their teeth healthy.Try your local library for a book about going to the dentist and see if that helps. Thank god my kids like the dentisit they go to and he is great with the kids and knowing my kids are comfortable makes me feel at ease when they are at the dentist.I think it is harder on us because we always worry as parents no matter if it is good or bad.

Jennifer - posted on 10/31/2011

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My 4yr had the same thing for same reason too. We just went through "that" day and it was worse on me than him! I brought him a radio thinking of the noise but he didn't need it. He was given gas and no shots and did very well. I felt like you as I have 2 other sons who have no cavities and they brush MUCH less than my 4 yr old. Don't beat yourself up, it can happen even to those that brush frequently. As for what to say, we just told my son that the dentist has to fix these spots so they don't get bigger and it may hurt and he will have to do his best to be brave. If he did his best, then there would be a reward for the bravery. Good luck and hope you feel better about it. I fretted over it until the day it happened and then it wasn't so bad. Hopefully your experience will be the same.

Amy - posted on 10/30/2011

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My son just had to have 2 baby teeth pulled because they were not lossening up and the adult teeth were already in. The worst part for him was the novicain needle, she gave him Advan to calm him before the procedure. The only other problem he had was when the novicain and Advan wore off, he was so angry, sad, happy, sleepy....etc. I will never give him both meds again. He still like our dentist though. Good Luck

Hillary - posted on 10/30/2011

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Everyone really is different and genetics plays a huge role in how your teeth develop and sustain life. The fact that your son has a cavity is in no way an indication of you being a failure or less than great mom. The fact that you are so upset shows how much you care. If your dentist said that though, yes they can cause caivities but he doesn't live with you and therefore has no idea how often he eats them or how it affects his brushing, (if he eats them first thing in the morning and then doesn't brush until evening, it would be tough on the teeth) he can't assume that is what caused the cavities. I would look for another dentist. I went through five different dentists before I was willing to take myself to see one, let alone my kids. A good dentist will make you feel comfortable, relaxed, well cared for and help you feel at ease. If they don't, you need to start researching and meeting with them, same as you would for the perfect paediatrician. Even at four, as long as you talk positive and be completely honest (find out about the procedure before hand, will there be needles, do they numb first, will he be put to sleep or totally awake, can you be in the room holding his hand etc.) he should come out perfectly fine. The biggest thing is to be honest, don't say it won't hurt when you know he may feel pain and have a needle, if you do he will come to not trust the dentist and that could cause major problems later on in life.

Amber - posted on 10/30/2011

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Hi my daughter had to have a cavity filled. I was worried because just getting her teeth cleaned scared her but she did fine. The pediatric dentist gave her laughing gas and she was very calm and I sat with her and held her hand while she had the work done. If a child is very upset or needs alot of work done a pediatric dentist can give them a "special drink" that really makes them relaxed and not remember what happened. Hope it goes well and don't beat yourself up some peoples teeth are just more prone to cavaties but If it where me I would also cut back how much sticky snacks he gets :) Good Luck!!

Sherri - posted on 10/26/2011

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Becky it is not crap if he eats them all the time they are known to cause cavities, as are raisins and juice too.

Sherri - posted on 10/26/2011

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My 4 yr old had to go in for 4 fillings and still loves the dentist. He just went back with the dentist and got it done. The dentist never hurt him and was great at what he does. I wouldn't worry

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