Getting children to listen

Carrie - posted on 01/20/2010 ( 12 moms have responded )

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I have a five and a three year old. Any one have suggestions on how to get my boys to listen to me. I am home with them a lot and it seems they have no respect for what I say. Advice needed thank you.

Carrie

12 Comments

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Rosalie - posted on 01/28/2010

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I HAVE FIVE CHILDREN AND WORKING FULLTIME AT NIGHT. IN MY OPENION FROM NEWBORN UNTIL MY CHILDREN ARE BIG ENOUGHT TO UNDERSTAND I DON'T SAY NO TO THEM YES,BUT W/EXPLANATION.THEN THEY SAID NO BECAUSE THEY UNDERSTAND OUR EXPLAINATION.IT WORKS FOR US COZ MY OLDER CHILD IS 15YRS OLD AND WHEN HE ASKED HIS FATHER AND I PERMISSION TO GO ANYWHERE HE EXPLAIN TO US WHO, WHERE AND HOW MANY HOURS. SO NOW THEY GOT THE MESSAGE THAT EXPLAINATION IS THE BEST TO EVERYBODY TO UNDERSTAND. WE NEED TO BE OPEN TO OUR CHILDREN IN EVERYTHING. I HOPE IT WILL HELP YOU.

Rachael - posted on 01/26/2010

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There are some really good responses here, just remember, persistence pays. Dont give in: always be prepared to back up what you say......

Nancy - posted on 01/25/2010

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well i think i am going to do that to my brats to see if they listen through that big skull they have i didnt know boys could be bad listeners you know what i mean it is ahame but they are my children and no matter what you got to love them for life

Nancy - posted on 01/25/2010

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well i have to say youre one of the lucky moms out here that their children listen to its asame but what can we do but play mom is all we have to do nothing more nothing less but it's a good way to disipline them

Nancy - posted on 01/25/2010

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is not that we are afraid is that it comes to a point where you honestly just want to walk out and abdoned them you know because even if u stoop to their level they dont seem to listen is like you a window that they bang themselves against and they to themself i dont care what she has to say .

Nancy - posted on 01/25/2010

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carrie i am looking for the same response my self i dont understand what is the big issue with these kids not listening i wish i could give u an advise but i can't especially if both are boys forget worst than gurls i must say..good luck if you have any suggestion let me know

Nancy - posted on 01/25/2010

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Hello my name is nancy and i am a mother of four children but two are grown up so with those i dont have any issue but i have a seven and a nine years old who cant stop fighting while in scholl they are fine but at home they make me want to kill myself can ne one tell me what to do with these two horrible kids of mines.

Penny - posted on 01/22/2010

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I use the reward system with our 5 year old . I don't reward bad behaviors

I have a time out corner I give a warning and tell him if his behavior continues he will have 3 mins in time out , I found a corner in my hall way so he is away from the family .



This is effective for us , He hates his corner . But when he has a really good week and doesn't go in the corner at all on saturdays he gets a reward .



Praise works really well with him as well .



Good Luck

Penny

Shannon - posted on 01/22/2010

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my kids have always been fairly good listeners, meaning i dont have to fight everyday to get them to listen. but i have always tried to talk to them - get them to look at me when we are talking and i'm telling them what to do. and dont be afraid to put your foot down. i have told my kids before that they had to tidy up their toys or i was going to do it, they were given several warnings that they were running out of time to do it themselves. when time ran out i went in and made them (taking them by the hand and making them go through the motions) cleaned up every toy that was on the floor into a garbage bag, then the bag was tide off and put outside. ( i put it out back and not actually into a dumpster so that night i could hide it, i didnt want to waste all that money). the kids cried and as they started to do what i asked over the next while they would earn back a toy. it was never given to them as a reward though just would be placed back into the playroom. try to tell your kids that if they listen and show respect that they will get to go do something fun eg. the park to play, go visit a friend or family. jsut if they start to act up warn them that they will have to leave, and DO leave if they dont listen.

just remind yourself that when you get frusterated, they learn by example, what you show them and what others do is what they will do. pay attention to how often you talk to them outside of the room they are in, do you use your manners when asking them something? (my husband is really bad for just telling the kids to move out of his way with out saying please and stuff like that, and the kids dont like to listen to him). hope somthing helps you out. we all have been there, just keep working on it.

Carrie - posted on 01/21/2010

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I am not afraid to discipline. It justs is that my older one is very stubborn and my younger is very smart and knows just what to do. I do yell a lot because I just get so frustrated. I will try the second option. Thank you.

Kellie - posted on 01/20/2010

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aw Tina, it will get better. Sometimes we moms need to take a look at the environment our children live in and what is going on at the time we are trying to "talk" to them. We yell from the other room, we talk to them when their backs are turned and sometimes we even expect our kids to anticipate what we do or do not want them to do. First, don't yell. Yelling flips the switch to the ears and they are no longer listening they are just looking at us like we are maniacs. Second, be in the room, face to face. Get down to their level and make eye contact. Firmly tell them exactly what you want them to do and the consequence if they don't. And be prepared because they will test you. After you try to change things it is going to be a battle of the wills. If you lose, you will be battling them forever.

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