Going to a friend's house after school or not

Sabrina - posted on 10/08/2010 ( 4 moms have responded )

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What do you do when your child asks to go to a friend's house and play after school and you don't know the friend or their family? My child had the phone number of the friend.

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Sylvia - posted on 10/09/2010

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Well, I would want to know that the friend's mom was okay with my kid showing up at her house ;^)

If my DD were getting herself to and from school and I was at home after school (I'm not -- I work, and she goes to the after-school program until I can come pick her up), then I would have no problem. I'd give the friend's mom/dad a call to confirm that the plan is OK with them and have a little chat, and if I got a weird vibe or something I would postpone or cancel, but otherwise I would let them go ahead. As it is, kids have to be picked up from the after-school program by a parent or other designated person, which means if you want to take someone else's kid home their parent has to inform the childcare teachers, and if your kid is going home with someone else you have to do the same. (Their are a couple of kids whose parents are not that amicable about sharing custody :(, so they have to be fairly paranoid about who's allowed to pick up which kids when.)

As a matter of fact, my DD (she's 8) brought a friend home from school with her yesterday. I picked them up, we took the bus to our place, the kids played, we made ice cream, I fed them dinner, we ate the ice cream, and at 8:00 the other kid's mom came to pick her up. I used to do the same thing when I was her age, except I would walk home with friends who lived closer to our school than I did.

Unless you have a reason to think that this friend or her/his family is bad news, I don't see any reason to be paranoid about it. Of course, if you'd rather have the other kid to your house first, why not?

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Rebecca - posted on 10/08/2010

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depend on the age of the child. my school-going child is 7 and i don't let her go to people i haven't met. luckily we live a few minutes walk from the school, and i have met a number of parents in the neighborhood so she goes there to play. there are some friends she wants to play with, but i insist i must meet them first -- but then it is ESSENTIAL that you make a plan to meet those parents so they aren't endlessly frustrated!

Sherri - posted on 10/08/2010

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The answer is NO!! Until I know the family quite well and I mean quite well, my child goes no where and my older two are 13 &12. If they want to get together if I don't know the family then we invite them to our house.

Julie - posted on 10/08/2010

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My school age kids are still pretty young, 7 and 8. With my 8 year old son I never had this issue. He gets socially fulfilled just being at school and at his activities. Then my daughter went to Kindergarten. She is a little social butterfly! She was constantly asking me if she could go to so and so's house and had phone numbers etc. I always called the mom and invited them to OUR house first. For 1 I didn't want my daughter to invite herself. If they really wanted to have her over the other mom would of contacted me right? Even if it was just a note sent home with my daughter. 2. I am very picky about sending my kids to some random persons house. Appearances can be deceiving. She has 1 friend whose mom I really like and we have become friendly. I have no issues with her going over there. Everyone else comes to my house.

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