he doesn't like my other daughter..

Lindsay - posted on 04/25/2011 ( 12 moms have responded )

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I recently got back with the father of my 5 year old and i thought things were going great but..... it turns out he doesn't like my other daughter who is 4. I'm totally baffled about what to do. He even went as far as to say that it was better when it was just him and my 5 year old and that he made a mistake by getting back together with me. My 5 year old came up to me yesterday in front of my whole family!! and asked me why daddy said that i wasn't going to be living there anymore.... i just started crying. it was news to me!!!! oh so what am i going to do.. and what if it is because of my 4 year old. she's not a bad kid at all and i just can't see why he doesn't like her..

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Danielle - posted on 05/01/2011

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get rid of that man! i would NEVER have married my husband if I didnt absolutely love his little girl...your daughter may be only 4, but shes already got a memory, and dont think she will forget the way she feels when she thinks shes not wanted. that poor baby, lets hope her self-esteem doesnt take a huge toll. dump that good-for-nothing and think about what is best for you and your children. there are others out there; surely there is a good man for you that doesnt need a reason to love your children, because he just will!

Blossom - posted on 04/30/2011

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You need to get rid of him no one should tell you to make a choice between ur babies. Your job is to protect them make them feel safe. if he doesnt like one of your kids, you tell him he takes the whole package our none of it. I wish you the best of luck.

Teresa - posted on 04/28/2011

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Any man that tries to make you choose between himself or your child is not there for the love. Even if the child is not his, she is yours and that should be your top priority! I don't know your situation, but he is more likely seeing that child as the "other man" and like most men get jealous and disrespectful. This is demonstrated when he told your eldest child he was leaving first before talking to you. I think it is a good thing if he leaves. I am sure it will leave you heart broken, but it will help you and your children grow together as a family with respect and love that you all deserve. He is a negative factor that with all the stress could and probably will tear your family apart. Don't blame your child for his insecruities...she is better than him!

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If he doesn't love your child....then he doesn't love you. That's pure ignorance. How can you dislike an innocent child regardless to the fact of if the child is yours or not. And you should kick his a$$ to the curb because no one should come before your baby. Not mama not daddy, no one! And screw that..who's to say that he wouldn't be mistreating the baby while you're not around. Being in love is one thing but it certainly can't compare to the love of my life (my daughter). Kids don't forget things either. It would be hard trying to explain to your child while you kept that man around that blatantly put it out there that he don't give a eff about her. He needs to grow the he!! up and get his priorities straight!!!!!

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Rachell - posted on 04/29/2011

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Your duty is to your children first, the need you. And your role is to make them both feel equally loved. As hard as it may be, you need to get rid of him. I assume the other child is not his and I would say he resents her presence as it reminds him of you being with someone else. You dont have any options unfortunately.

Wanda - posted on 04/28/2011

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RUN!!! Don't walk out of this relationship! I agree with the previous poster, Virnella. Would you be comfortable leaving your baby around him while you took a shower? went to the grocery store? People can be cruel and mean in subtle ways... he doesn't have to leave physical marks to hurt your daughter. He will also drive a wedge between your two children. Your older one will pick up on his resentment and think that is acceptable. Your little one will feel rejected by both him and her sister. You are her only ally. She depends on you to protect her. Don't let her down. Get rid of HIM!

Lori - posted on 04/26/2011

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Your kids need to come first. They also deserve respect. If he can't give it then it's not worth being with him.

Brandy - posted on 04/26/2011

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This is not about you or your kids. This is about him and his issues and you need to kick him to the curb.

Right now you are in the middle of it and emotional, and you have so many thoughts bouncing around in your head you probably feel like a pinball machine.
The bottom line is this: he is not nice to your children and it is your job to protect them.
Why on earth would an adult say something like that to a 5 year old child? There is no good reason for that. The kids should know nothing about the problems between the two of you until you BOTH decide TOGETHER that a change needs to be made an the kids need to be talked to about it with a plan and a united front. This is scary of them and him hurting them like that just shows how immature he is.
Be strong and move on, you and your kids deserve better!

Lindsy - posted on 04/25/2011

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And best of luck in the future dear. I'm sure you can find a man who will love you and your kids, and that you and your kids can love as well :)

Lindsy - posted on 04/25/2011

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All I can say is if he hasn't left the house already my advice would be to kick him out.That is not a man you want to share a life with, b/c if he really cared for you he would care for ALL of your children as well, regardless of whether or not they actually share his genes.

Christiana - posted on 04/25/2011

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I can't imagine being with a man that doesn't like my kids. I have two boys that are really hard for some people to get use to, but if I marry someone they will love my children or there would be no hope for us. A child (just like anyone else) knows when someone doesn't like them and children will misbehave with them because of it. Just be strong for your kids and make sure your 4 yr old knows she isn't the one to blame and don't let anyone else tell her that.

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