HELP! My 5yr old is being suspended from kindergarten!!

Fawn - posted on 10/02/2010 ( 1 mom has responded )

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He has only been a very good child; polite, intelligent, plays well with children. He throws tantrums still, which is about the extent of his bad behavior. But since preshool started he has turned into a little monster. He has been sent to the principals office TWICE! School only started a month ago. He has been threating teachers, screaming, spitting, and hitting. None of which he does at home. He attended Early Head Start, Head Start, and preschool before kindergarten. I do not understand suddenly why he is having a problem. I am afraid that the school is going to advise me to put him on medication, which is against my beliefs. I have tried grounding him, taking away privledges, assigning him chores, talking to him....and nothing works. He is pretty good at home, and then at school he pretends he is incapable and acts horrible. Any insight would be helpful. Thanks

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Ellen - posted on 10/02/2010

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I feel for you, Fawn. My youngest did this at Kindergarten last year too. It was a NIGHTMARE! He was in the principal's office SO many times the first month of school. He was a holy terror. Thankfully we got it under control and now he is the most pleasant first grader a teacher could ever want and I am not kidding.

Here's how I handled it after many tears and calls to friends and relatives and desperate feelings all around. I made nice with the teacher. I told her that we would solve this problem together (I had previously found fault with her approach). I made sure that Billy was clear that his teacher and I were on the same team. Then I told him what his consequences and rewards would be. If I got a note home he would not play video games that day. If I got no note home he got a star. After 10 stars he got a small prize from the prize box. (like a piece of gum) It took one month of total consistency on the rule. One time he tried ripping a note up, so the teacher emailed me. But after a month of the same consistent punishments and rewards he turned it around. Also, I punished without a lot of emotion or fussing. I did not show extreme disappointment, yell or have a mommy tantrum. I simply took away the video games and that was that, I didn't talk about the incident or invite him to explain away whatever he did. I just said "you got a note home for hitting another student, so no video games today." But when he got a star, I did show emotion, I got really happy and high fived him and congratulated him and asked him all about what he did and what fun he had etc, etc. This helped me feel better about the whole process and kept me guilt -free. It also helped my son realize that the way to get attention is through cooperation. Guilt is the biggest obstacle to discipline. Stay strong mama!

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