HELP...My 8 year old doesnt listen.

Kate - posted on 04/03/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )

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My 8 year old is going on 20. She constantly acts like she is on PMS, she doesnt listen and her favorite word is NO! Even simple things like taking a shower or brushing her teeth she argues about. I consider myself and my husband to be strict parents. She used to have chores and we used to be on her butt to do good in school, do her chores etc. We use the reward system and punishment, just depends on the situation but lately nothing has worked. I put her in counceling, took her for a psyc evaluation and continued to do a combinations of rewards and punishments and nothing is working. I recently had twin babies and she also has a 3 year old sister, fighting with her over every little thing is exhausting and I dont have the time to constantly remind her to brush her teeth, take a shower, do her homework etc. I dont know what to do with her anymore. I feel like I've exhausted every option.

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[deleted account]

It sounds like she is craving attention. The more she argues with you, the more attention she is getting. She's making sure you don't forget her.
Try this, it sounds counterintuitive but it worked wonders for my son, who was going through the same phase at the same age.

Spend 15-20 minutes per day with her doing whatever she wants to do. Set a timer, and make sure there are no interruptions. We call it "Special Mommy J Time".

I saw improvement with J in just over a week. The thing is, if she knows she's going to get time with you, she won't feel compelled to argue with you to make sure she's getting it. Of course, she will still argue points she feels strongly about--that's just part of an individual, that's how we assert ourselves, but the pointless arguing should diminish fairly soon.

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