Hi..... my 4 years old princess hits anyone that hits her first!!!

Jennifer - posted on 10/02/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )

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Okay well she hits only after others kids hits her first, haven't has a problem in school but when it comes to family members she will hit. I don't know what to do because I do tell her not to stay hit if someone hits her but her bad don't like that fact that she hits back. don't know if im wrong for telling her to hit back but then again I know want her to stay hit..... please give opinion about this matter!!!! I need it

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Sonya - posted on 10/08/2013

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By family members, are you talking sisters and brothers? or parents? or ...Not that parents should be hitting, but...

Let me preface what I say with---I do not have girls, I have 8 boys. They can get rowdy, rambunctious, and need to wrestle to alleviate their energy. If uncontrolled, someone gets hurt. My rule for rambunctious behavior is---if you wrestle, you get hurt---don't tell me, don't cry to me, ..... There are exceptions---like if you break a bone as you wrestle, or something...but the tears from playing rough is ...playing rough.

I wasn't sure from your description whether it was her 'dad' who doesn't like her hitting back? I do not want to give you advise to disobey your husband---you two must have a united front with discipline, or the child will know it and play the two of you against each other--and no one wins. So if he has already said, don't hit back, regardless of the reason, then you enforce 'don't hit back'. Don't look for ways to discredit his request. He's the dad, give him respect. As a dad, he may not want his daughter fighting with a boy--nor would I.

So with that said,...

I do not encourage my boys to hit, bite, fight....but if one hits, I expect the older to walk away. They are old enough to exercise control. If they do get into a hitting fight-(because they are human)--I tell them to take it outside and don't make me take them to the hospital. (Remember, I have boys. They tend to be more physical.) Most of the time, it is the younger one that starts it, and then he runs to tell on himself...so what do I do with that?

Don't get me wrong. I am not a violent person, nor do I encourage it. I tell them "kindness takes work." ...I expect kindness when someone hits them...but we live in a fallen world. There are times when I've encouraged the principle, "you reap what you sow--if you hit, expect to get it back."

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