Holding kids back a grade

Alison - posted on 09/01/2009 ( 10 moms have responded )

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My son turned 4 in the middle of august. The cutoff for school here is the September 1st. His teachers think we should consider holding him back next year for kindergarten. Not because of his ability but just based on his age. He learns very fast. Just wanted to know how other moms have handled this decision.

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Carilee - posted on 09/04/2009

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Hi Alison, I did not keep my child back when starting kindergarten. I really wish I had. He was in 1st grade last year and I kept him back this year. I do think that if a child is mentally ready to start school but not really age ready it is a better idea to hold off one more year.



My aunt, who has 4 boys, did this with two of them. They just made the cut off to start kindergaten but she held them both back and started them the following year. On the two she did this with they are both doing great in school and the other two not so well.

Alesha - posted on 09/03/2009

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I put both of my kids in Pre-K to get a better assessment of any needs and weaknesses they may have. It worked really well with my daughter and I found out early on that she has a sensory problem, which is related to a form Autism; so the teachers and I were able to assist Libby better. Hunter on the other hand had to be held back in the first grade (my decision) because he could not read more than a dozen words, barely knew his alphabet, numbers, and shapes. I had the school its self test them at the begining of the the school year to see how they were on their knowledge. If the school does have that kind of testing I suggest you use it, but other wise it is souly your choice. I myself would send him to Pre-K, and would probably not hold him back. If you believe he is emotionally and socially ready to start school full-time go for it.

Jessica - posted on 09/03/2009

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I have three daughters and two sons, both of my boys were born in the fall, my girls in the spring. My older son was born three weeks early which put him just in time for the September1st cut off for school. We had family pressure to send him to preschool when he turned 4 but we didn't decide until he actually was at that stage. Like your son he is quick to pick up things and does not struggle academically, however when he was four he did struggle with toilet training issues. We decided to hold him back because we didn't want him to have problems at school and a year later all was fine. Now as a 13 year old he insists that he should have been started when he was four (in pre-K) not held back , I tell him the same thing every time and he understands. While it's hard to do sometimes boys do seem to need that extra time for maturity issues, it's much easier to do now than later on.

Ilene - posted on 09/03/2009

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My son turned five last November 16th. He will be six this November 16th. The cutoff is December 1st. I held him back because I didn't think he was mature enough for K last year. So next week he will be starting K at 5.9. Now his home school gave me a hard time about it. They gave me the whole "he should have started K last year and do you want to move him on up to 1st grade this year?" speech. NO he hasn't had Kindergarten yet..I don't want him to skip it especially since he went to a non-academic preschool. He will be a bit older....but more mature. He's reading and can use a computer but I still think he needs that year of Kindergarten to grow up especially since he went to a non-academic preschool. I had another school tell me this as well. The school that we ended up choosing (we have open enrollment) among the four schools that actually accepted my son seems to be okay and on our page with starting him at 5.9. I know he's going to be ahead academically and age wise, but I think we made the right decision based on his maturity. Especially now that we know he needs glasses and is practically blind without them!

Jennifer - posted on 09/03/2009

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NO...DO NOT HOLD HIM BACK JUST BECAUSE OF HIS AGE!!!!! We live in Florida and the cut off for school is Sept 1. My son turned 5 on Aug 18...a full 6 days before school started. My son is a fast learner and gets along well with other kids socially. He was in pre-k and learned his numbers, letters, colors and how to write his name. It's only the second week of school, but my son is doing teriffic!! He's actually as advanced as some of the 6 year olds that are in his class and has gotten kudos from his teacher already!!! If you feel that your son is ready, do not let anyone tell you to hold him back!!! GOOD LUCK!

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Rachel - posted on 09/04/2009

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Allison,



You have a very good question, and I believe the choice is yours and not theirs, but from experience you should really look at his progress, his ability to interact with the other kids, and his overall experience in pre-k. By law, they do not have to start school until 1st grade, but I believe the way the education system is nowadays, they are already behind. Every child is different, and if you see he starts to have trouble with certain areas, you should spend time with him making learning fun, or he will lose interest.



Rachel

Lyn - posted on 09/04/2009

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I live in scotland and the cut off is end feb for aug entry my boy is jan and he has started and is doing fine with nursery loves it. I also am a jan baby and it did me no harm all those years ago its your decision at the end of the day yo know your child.

Jackie - posted on 09/04/2009

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hi ya...well at d end of d da its ur choice but i think let him go....his teachers will b able 2 tell u if he is able an ready for it as dey have 2 do tests on all der children...an if it turns out dat he has 2repeat nxt year well he is still young enuf for it not 2 bother him...

Rebecca - posted on 09/02/2009

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I think it all depends on how you as a parent feels about your childs ability. My daughter turned 4 in October of last year and started kindergarten in July of this year. She is doing great and ahead of most kids in her class. I battled with the same thoughts, but I chose what I thought my child was ready for. She had also been in Pre-school for a little over a year and even her teachers there thought she was ready. So sometimes getting another opinion helps. Also some schools have testing to see if your child is ready or not. You can try that as well.

[deleted account]

Um, weird. First thing, let me tell you that my maiden name is Allison Witter (small world!) but anyway; I have a 5 yr old born on July 4. She is very smart, picks up things quickly, hit all of her milestones ahead of time, but she's shy. We decided that based on her age and her personality to hold her back another year in pre-k. She's flourishing and making great friends and doesn't know the difference. I'm also going to be holding our son, b Aug 21, back as well just because I think boys could use an extra few months to catch up especially with maturity later in their pre-teen and teen years. Hope this helps! And again, so weird!

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