How do I deal when my son wishes grandma was his mom?

Leeann - posted on 01/07/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )

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My six year old son wishes my mom was his mom. I lived with my mom and her husband for two years because I was hospitalized with an infection for two months and lost work while I was sick. I lost my car, house, everything. When I got better I became employeed, bought a new car and then moved me and my son to our new place. While I was living with my parents my mom watched my son when I was at work and they became close. My mom and her husband openly crticized my parenting style in front of my son. Now my son openly critisizes me and talks down to me like my parents did. I have been taking away toys and privleges when he talks this way and it hasn't really worked; it's hard for him to stop because it's so natural now. Last night he screamed "You are so annoying" three times, he was angry I enforced a consequence in front of his friends. His friends mom was appolled at how he spoke to me. I took him home and told him he should not speak to me that way or anyone, but I tried to emphasize not to talk that way to "your mom". He explained that I wasn't "Pharoe" that GamGam was "Pharoe". He's really into Egypt and Moses, etc. I tried to tell him that I was his mom and that it's okay to love grandma but that mom(me) is "Pharoe". He said in a matter of fact way "But, I want Grandma to be Pharoe, not you." He wasn't saying it to be mean; it's really what he longs for. I'm so heartbroken right now I don't know what to do. Any thoughts would help.

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Lakota - posted on 01/07/2013

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You poor thing. I think your parents should be ashamed. I think it's great that they helped you out, as they should, but, to do anything that would cause problems between you and your son is horrible. Try not to be heartbroken. You are his mom and no one can change that. Keep talking to him, let him know your rules and be firm, use punishment when needed, show him love everyday despite what he says. He will come around. Be patient. I wouldn't let him stay at their house again or let them babysit for anything in the world. Good luck.

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