How do I discipline my kid to pee in the potty?

Rdhtina - posted on 01/21/2011 ( 47 moms have responded )

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Ok. So my 6 yr old son is lazy and doesn't hold on to himself every time when using the potty and I find pee around the potty. This has got to change, especially since he goes home with a friend after school and my poor friend should not have to clean this up either. At 6 years old, he should not be missing anymore. How do I get through to him? We both make him clean up when it happens-when we catch him, or realize it happened and we are absolutely positive it is him and I have got to find a way to get through to him. So bring it!

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Corrie - posted on 02/03/2011

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I agree to make him and the grown man clean it. It is a natural consequence. If he spilled juice would you make him clean it up? I would and there is nothing wrong with teaching school age chilren to be responsible for their actions. You will be amazed how it will not only cure the mess, but boost his confidence in other areas when he is given some "grown up" tasks. Foster independance don't encourage laziness.

Becky - posted on 02/02/2011

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My 10 year old sits, my 8 year old just cleans up after himself, my husband misses occasionally too, so I think it is really just something that boys do. It is gross and it is not fun, but I make them clean the bathroom- not just when they miss, but when it is time for the bathroom to be cleaned. They are the ones who get pee every where, toothpaste all over the sink and soap every where, so why should I be the one to clean up after them? They have gotten way better about keeping the bathroom clean because they know if they do, they won't have to deep clean it as often. Good luck!

Suzanne - posted on 01/31/2011

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i do home daycare and had the same problem with one of my daycare kids i spoke to my parents and told them this... no child would be able to use the bathroom without my permision, and it would be inspected after each use. if i found even one drop on the seat the child would be given gloves and lyosl wipes to clean my entire tolet including the floor around it. this may sound extream but in my case it was a child who when the seat was up (as it should be) he would aim through the seat at the lid this was a last straw temper tantrum but it worked and after he had to clean my tolet 2 or 3 times it stopped and the aim improved 110%... also i have heard making them sit works too. just a thought but hope it works

Louise - posted on 01/25/2011

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You can get specially designed ping pong balls for want of another word that dont flush. She's had one at one time or another for the last 7 years no problems. Her hubby and his friends it's hilarious after a few. No harm either. I know fully grown men who can't hold it and aim either!



I wouldn't go down the humiliation route. It's a recipe Fr disaster. You'd be much better to go with the look what mommy brought the big boy for the toilet. Also get a pape page and stickers and after he goes in the toilet and not all around give him a sticker. When he gets to a certain number he gets a treat. Coul be something as small as a chocolate bar or a comic. I used this to potty train my now 5 year old at 3 and a half. (he wasnt ready before) I also used it to get off the nighttime nappies and he has never wet the bed at night.



Praise and responsibility do way more than giving out and humiliation. The last thing you want is for him to hold onto it because hes afraid to go in case he gets in trouble.

D'Etta - posted on 01/25/2011

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Tell him to clean it up. I wouldn't drill into him about punishment. At this age, they are being taught cleanliness. Cleaning up after you miss the toilet should be part of learning to use the restroom, just as washing hands and flushing the toilet is.

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Carla - posted on 02/05/2011

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@Stephanie, first of all, sorry for your crisis. We're here for you. Secondly, I think most little boys do this, my grandson does. When they start wearing tighter jeans, he will stop ;) Do you have a father, or trusted uncle that can show him the ropes? Right now it is so much easier to just slip his jeans down, because they still have the elastic in them. When it's difficult to get 'things' out, he will unzip them. My grandson waits til the very last minute before he runs for the bathroom, so he doesn't have time to go through the ritual of unzipping. It's a learning process, and he'll get it.

God bless

Stephanie - posted on 02/04/2011

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my son doesnt even unzip or unbutton his pants he just pulls them down enough to lean over and pe! i would love to know how to break that habit but i was just recently informed my husband is filing for divorce and idk how to tell him the correct way to pee!! HELP MOMS!

Carla - posted on 02/04/2011

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@Marie--I knew a man who sat too, and I thought it was VERY weird, but he said it eliminated the mess. He was obsessive-compulsive. I guess if they aren't making a mess, you're ahead of the game. He's just going to have to be particularly careful to get his pants ALL the way down!

Carla - posted on 02/04/2011

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I think the 'not holding your penis' is some sort of a mastery of a great trick ;) I watched my 4-almost 5 y/o grandson yesterday, and he did the same thing! (Gotta be a man-thing) He stands up close to the potty and rests his penis on the toilet rim (gotta keep potty clean ;)). He doesn't miss cuz he's close. Just a thought.

When we potty-trained him, we put Fruit Loops in the bowl and had him sink them. Great fun. That way they HAVE to hold on to aim.

Boys are a little difficult, but definitely worth it ;) Just hold on, baby,

God bless!

Jessica - posted on 02/04/2011

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I buy a pack of stickers like the teachers buy, he is 4 and is always missing also. I told him everyone he can use the bathroom like a big boy and not make a mess he can get two stickers when he washes his hands on his own he gets a 3 rd. this method even helps with having him put his toys away

Klara - posted on 02/03/2011

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its great you are making him clean up his own mess. Maybe use a reward when there is no mess until he gets in the habit? Have you asked him if there is a reason he chooses not to hold his penis when he urinates? Just want to make sure there isn't some issue, physical or emotional that he's not sharing... Is there a dad in the picture he can copy? Maybe if he sees dad do it the right way, he'd want to be like dad? If it continues, maybe make him buy a role of paper towels to clean it up with since he's too lazy or chooses not to be more careful? For my kids, having them buy replacement items or docking allowance works well, but each kid has different things that are important to them, so just gotta find that thing. Good luck, I'm sure its not an easy one. I have 2 girls, and one of them has peed over the toilet... I know, how the heck..lol

Melissa - posted on 02/03/2011

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1st off I think Deanna's post is way too harsh and bordering on cruel. Accidents happen, it's obvious he's aware that he needs to clean it up if he misses and that he needs to improve his aim so whatever techniques you've used in the past to teach him to learn something would apply now. I think you're embarrassed about it happening at the sitters and making a bigger issue because of that. I'm sure the sitter does not think you are a bad mom or your son is lazy because he occasionally misses the bowl. Good luck and relax. Like someone else said, if he starts worrying that he'll be punished it'll turn into a real problem.

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LadyLu - posted on 02/03/2011

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Change that potty to a toilet, a mini step & a ping pong ball!!!
He'll love the idea of having to try and hit the ping pong ball with his pee and the pee will stay in the loo, not the seat.
WARNING: He'll want to be up there every 10 minutes having a pee so don't get too comfy OH, and it'll help the big man in your life not hit the seat too....
Let me know how you get on

[deleted account]

i know grown men who still have this problem. some if it is splashing too, but i don't think you should punish him just make him clean it no matter what he is doing make him stop and clean it. I do this to my 11y\o and 3y\o, and have asked my husband to set the example.

Jodi - posted on 02/03/2011

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Hi Tina!!
I think your doing the right thing for sure!!!
I'm glad you posted this, because I started to question if I was doing enough and after reading all this it's pretty clear that it's a common problem with boys! I don't think it's punishable though! Like you said he's not doing it out of spite! That's a whole new topic all together!!
Again Thanks!

Marie - posted on 02/03/2011

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Hi All, I have a sitter, never wants to stand, did it at pre school, but peed on his pants, he will not stand up, he is 6 now and will not stand, will always sit. Do you think that is weird? I want him to stand but he just will not. My husband sits too. No example in the house. What do you think?

Rdhtina - posted on 02/02/2011

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I am making him clean the toilet every single time it needs it when he is around, and it is getting better! He does hate to clean pee up, the Lysol wipes were a good idea, because I did not want him to use bleach. I decided not to worry about following him to the bathroom or checking after him every time anymore, every time I have to go in there, I look at the toilet and if it needs cleaning, even just a drop on the rim, I call him in to clean it. I was not making him clean it often enough, or every time I saw pee. I know it is him!! SO! Now, he has to stop what he is doing and clean it. It is enough. The reward is NOT having to clean it EVERY time I go in there. I can't really strip his room of everything-I don't have anywhere else to put the stuff, or put him in pull ups-Lysol wipes are expensive enough-he would probably just pee in it and change it, like when he was potty training I had to stop using them so he would stop peeing his pants, both are a bit extreme for me. He is just going to clean up the mess he makes. He is not being malicious or naughty, just thoughtless-so I gotta make him think. He makes a mess-he cleans it up, lazy boys do not like to clean! My friend said he has gotten much better, he has to do the same at her house. I will be buying her another can of Lysol wipes also, that he will use to clean up his mess if he makes one. I hope soon he will really rather just aim and not make a mess. Even 6 yr olds need to hold and aim, and having something to aim at can help, but he is capable of aiming for the hole so that is what he will have to do! Hopefully this will continue to work.Thank you all for your input, it has allowed me to think through this whole situation and decide what I am doing right, what I need to do better, and what really doesn't work for me. Thank you ALL for helping me figure it out!

Katherine - posted on 02/02/2011

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he is 6 not 2. my step son had issues with aiming and we pointed out to him that nobody wants to use a dirty wet toilet. we also made him clean it. it was laziness. we took fun stuff away, toys, games, friends. only big boys can have fun stuff. morning or night it doesnt matter. boys are boys.

Angela - posted on 02/02/2011

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refering to the ping pong balls down the toilet, i have used these for my 11 yr old and they work and dont flush down, you dont even have to get the special ones (with faces on) just normal table tennis ones are just as good. hope this helps

Jodi - posted on 02/02/2011

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You've gotten lot's of great suggestions here, as have I!! My son age 6 does the same thing and I've tried to tell him he has to sit from now on, but unless I'm going to be ready to follow him the the bathroom everytime I can't enforce it. So cleaning up is the general solution! If I find pee I will call him back to the bathroom and he has to clean up his mess. I've also done the watch over thing when he's going, I'll stand over him and say watch where your peeing. We even gave him a demonstration of what happens if you look to the left and see how your body moves and the penis sprays pee everywhere else but the toilet. ( hope that makes sense)
Anyways, no your not alone and I agree I kinda think it's a man thing, cause my hubby does it too and sometimes i have to make him come back and clean up his mess! LOL

Deirdre - posted on 02/02/2011

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Admonish him that he will have to start using the toilet like a girl would and sit to urinate instead of standing. Explain to him that you'll know he hasn't been sitting because of the urine around the toilet and that he will be punished by having to clean the entire bathroom as well as do 20 push-ups. Also explain to him how unsanitary an unsafe (bacteria and germs) his actions are to others who have to use that same bathroom. If someone does not notice the urine around or on the back of the toilet, they can transport those germs to other parts of the house through their clothes and feet. Would he be comfortable sitting on a sofa or playing on a carpet with urine bacteria? He's 6; you have to discipline him with reason and speak to his conscious.

Idella - posted on 02/01/2011

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after the third time I made my son clean the potty he makes sure to hold and aim.....oh i didnt just make him clean the one toilet he cleaned every toilet in the house....he said it was way gross and he rather clean dog poop...lol

Heidi - posted on 02/01/2011

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I agree, you should discipline him to be neater. That being said, I have 2 boys (5 and 10), and it doesn't get much better with age. If I routinely find messes, I get disinfecting wipes and make them clean the floor and toilet. I also keep the wipes handy and tell them to check behind themselves for messes. We have occasionally punished the older one for serious offenses, just trying to let them know this is publically unacceptable and irresponsible.

Martha - posted on 01/31/2011

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it is better to reward him for doing it right! Let him know you will check after he goes then he gets a reward for not getting it anyware execpt inthe toilet. The reward could be anything that is of currancy to him.

Mary - posted on 01/31/2011

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Have you tried telling him if he cant potty like a big boy he will have to go back to pull ups like a baby until he is ready...? It worked for my son when peeing the bed at night ;) he is 6 n a half and doesnt have the "time" for potty breaks, so by the time he makes it, theres an explosion waiting to happen
Good Luck

April - posted on 01/27/2011

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i agree with fiona because i have 3 boys but none of them pee around the toilet i guess i'm one of the lucky ones but having something in the toilet that he could use as a target would be a start and good luck

Kim - posted on 01/26/2011

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my son went easy with going on the toilet...its gotten messier the old he gets for some reason....i did the cheerios trick - hit 'em and sink 'em. i've heard of one square of toilet paper too. good luck.

Rdhtina - posted on 01/26/2011

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I don't think a 6 yr old is beyond peeing on a sticker or ping pong ball, and I think it is a reasonable suggestion. Obviously full grown men aren't beyond it! LOL! However it would seem the hole in the bottom of the toilet would be a large enough target for them to aim at and I think I need to elicit Daddy's help on aiming some more. He is not embarrassed or humiliated when I go in with him and encourage him to lift the seat and aim well. I am not wanting to humiliate or embarrass him, I am wanting to motivate him to be responsible. I will just continue to make him clean up, although I am not going to wake him up in the middle of the night to clean it up, he is 6. I also think the whole stripping of the room and baby toy thing is a bit intense for this situation. I think most of the misses are early morning or middle of the night. I have decided to make him clean the toilet,floor and sink, every couple days cleaning up will have to work, before playtime, due to the schedule of our home. He will be relieved of bathroom duty when it stays clean. Thank you all for your suggestions and sharing your frustrations-nice to know I am not the only one!

Ume Ammara - posted on 01/26/2011

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I ve same problem with my 4/12yrs old son..frst it was difficult to train him to go to toilet and now this one...dont know what to do...

Crystal - posted on 01/26/2011

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I understand Karla, but the link I posted above... that was how they kept their toilets clean from a barrage of GROWN men... It's sad but ironically not one limited to children... you would think it would, it certainly should... but no.

Karla - posted on 01/26/2011

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Sorry, I just have to say something - this boy is 6 ladies not a potty training toddler! My son would have been humiliated to have me put a ping pong or cherrios in the toilet. OR start a sticker program for that matter. 6 is old enough to acknowledge a mistake and fix it, like cleaning it. They might be lazy about it but it can happen.
My son had trouble with the aiming in the morning too because of pressure so thats where we got a lesson again from Dad about starting enough to see where its going and aim accordingly. Honestly the whole aim thing is so much more complicated that i ever thought!
Anyway not trying to start an argument about this I just needed to vent - sorry!

[deleted account]

Make him clean it. Every time. It doesn't matter if you find it a 1am. wake him up and make him clean it. Not only clean the mess he made but the WHOLE bathroom. Everything. Do this for about a week and if that doesn't work then I would suggest stripping his room, buy him one infant toy, and tell him that until he uses the bathroom like everyone else then he will continue to clean the entire bathroom every time and only be allowed infant toys to play with. That means no television, radio, and so on unless mom and dad are using it.

Stephanie - posted on 01/26/2011

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I hear you loud & clear. My 9 year old is still a terrible aim. I was constantly getting him to help me clean up & now he does it all on his own without me even knowing he made a mess in the first place. ( That's a whole other problem)
BUT I was so fed up I went with him when he wanted to pee and to be quite honest I'm not surprised he makes a mess cos the force that his pee shoots out really is quite impressive. It does cause his penis to shoot forward so the first couple of seconds were hitting the back of the seat. I'm sure he would be delighted to know that I'm discussing his bathroom habits with you...Anyway I guess it's the 'Hold' that the important bit & if you get him over the germ thing that should help. If you find a top tip, I'll be glad to hear it. I think he's a bit old for the ping pong trick though.

Shelley - posted on 01/25/2011

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I guess you could turn back time a little and maybe put chereos in the toilet and tell him you bet he cant hit the chereos. Maybe if you turn it into a game his competitive side will come out and he will want to win. My son misses when he gets up in the middle of the night and he's half asleep. I make him clean it up immediately when he is getting ready for school that morning. I dont really have any other ideas but I hope the chereos work.

Terri - posted on 01/24/2011

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make it fun, give him a cheerio to throw in the toilet for him to aim at! Reward him if there is not a mess and all else fails put down something plastic you can wipe.

Samantha - posted on 01/24/2011

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It's not that you didn't teach him well. I'm sure you did a great job. Maybe his dad can show him again? I bet if he saw his dad do it, he'd want to get into it again. I think you're right about staying on him, at least for a bit until he realizes how important aim is. Good luck!

Karla - posted on 01/24/2011

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Sorry, I meant that he didn't hold it to aim because he though his penis was germy. And we talked about that and we wash our hands anyway if he touches it or not.

Karla - posted on 01/24/2011

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We went through this same thing at that age! The bad aim and not holding it! First I made him clean toilets so he knew how gross it was (after a few days so it was gross). Then he said it was because he didn't want to get his hands dirty! So we talked about that. Finally I made my husband give him holding/aiming lessons. I'm not sure any of these on their own were the cure. Sometimes I think he improved so I would stop talking about it, lol!

Rdhtina - posted on 01/24/2011

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I taught him to sit down too, I am sure his Dad had something to do with the standing up thing. I am just getting frustrated because he is in Kindergarten and also a friends house after school. I can only be there so much at this point so beyond going in to make sure or following up after and making him clean it up, I was looking for ideas to encourage him to aim better, I may try some targets, and he could sit-although I doubt that will go over very well, maybe that would help. I guess there is no quick fix. I guess I did not teach him as well as I had thought. My friends 6 yr old apparently doesn't ever miss, and if he does, he cleans it up. I have the same standard, I guess I just have to keep on him every time.

Michelle - posted on 01/23/2011

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I taught my son to sit down to do his business, he does stand now sometimes but never misses he is 9 now at 6 I just encouraged him to sit told him mommy wasn't going to clean up the mess and if he didn't want to do it he had 2 options aim and don't miss or sit he chose to sit. Hope this helps.

Samantha - posted on 01/23/2011

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I would watch him and help him aim correctly. Then maybe you can reward him again to encourage good aim?

Rosie - posted on 01/22/2011

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I used to put the potty in a muti colored TENT- this encouraged her to go on her own.

Fiona - posted on 01/22/2011

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I have to admit Tina, I haven't used ping pong balls and I would hate for them to block your system - I would imagine they would be too buoyant to flush but I couldn't be sure. xxx

Sherri - posted on 01/21/2011

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I would take him in and everytime he needed to go for a few days go with him and make sure he is holding it and aiming. A little bit of humiliation of having mommy having to go in with him should fix the problem lickity split.

Rdhtina - posted on 01/21/2011

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Yes, I mean toilet, I didn't know that it had a different meaning in the UK! Good to know. I have heard of people using Cheerios or other flushable stuff. I did not know those things like that existed and looks like they don't flush-(how do they not flush?) and they last for awhile! That is fantastic, I think I might try that, thanks! Have you ever used ping pong balls? I am surprised they don't flush down.

Fiona - posted on 01/21/2011

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Hi hun, I presume when you say potty that it is the toilet (potty in the UK is a small thing on the floor that some people use to teach children to use that instead of nappies then move onto the toilet...)

Anyho - I digress. Have you tried putting ping pong balls in the toilet - bear with me.....when the boy pees on them it is like target practice and I have it on good authority that it is fun :D

You could use these but there are others on the market
http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0017XHL8S/re...

hope that helps
fi x

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