how do i get my 10 yr old to stop acting like a holy terror?

Taryn - posted on 03/07/2010 ( 10 moms have responded )

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my daughter is generally a sweet , helpful child . but for the last month or so she has been TERRIBLE. she has been soo mean biting, kicking, hitting, lieing,grunting ,stomping ,and absolutely refusing to do anything we ask of her i have tried sitting her down and asking if something is bothering her , and explaining that it is ok to be angry but it is not ok to hit and bite , i treid telling her to take a walk or write in a journal when she is angry and to find something that helps her feel better she was ok for a after we spoke then right back to the demon child this is so not like her and she is causing so much stress to me and her siblings , short of an exorcism, i don't know what else to do.HEEEEEEEEELLLLLLP!!!!

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Lynda - posted on 03/09/2010

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ha. Not only did I go through this with my own daughter I put my mother through it as well. My mom told me it took me 7 years to get through puberty! She was not joking!. I suggest you give your daughter more responsibility. Play up the fact that she is a preteen and make sure everyone in your house knows you trust her and think she can handle herslef. The only Huge Rule I stipulated was that my daughter was not allowed to sharpen her teenage claws on her little brother. The good news is, you cute sweet little girl is still in there and if you handle it right you'll find her again in a few years. For now heap on the responsibility and pick your battles. Good luck!

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Jennifer - posted on 03/10/2010

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A good book to read might be "Hold Onto Your Kids." The author talks about how kids today are no longer oriented to their parents but to their peers instead, and as a result all kinds of behavior issues emerge that didn't in the past.

Jennie - posted on 03/10/2010

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mine does the same things.... stomping when she doesn't get her way, or if we correct her on something. She just turned 11 in November. I blame it on hormones too, although I never acted like that with my parents. We feel (as parents) totallly disrespected & like we have done something wrong. Overall she is an angel around everyone else, then she is around her own family (me, Dad & brother) and she becomes "miss attitude". It is like an "evil" side that we are not used to seeing. I thought about counseling. Last night her dad asked her to move over because she was blocking the TV...she stomped out of the room, screamed, slammed a door. We cannot have those type of outburst. What is her little brother thinking? He is 6, I am worried that he believes that is how to act when you are corrected. HELP!!! I feel just like you.

Rebecca - posted on 03/10/2010

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@Lynda: I think that is a really useful insight -- the reward (I believe in positive reinforcement) for succesfully achieving responsibilities is more independence ... obviously starting in small ways and building on them, so that by the time she is grown up, she'll have grown into her independence.

Jennifer - posted on 03/09/2010

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Has anything changed in her life? If this is a totally new behavior for her I would wonder if something has happened to her at school.

Rebecca - posted on 03/08/2010

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@zelda: why don't you sit down and talk to her about where her feelings about this brother are coming from and what would help her get along better with him since everyone has to live together....?

Zelda - posted on 03/08/2010

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My daughter is 13 and actually started acting this same way when she was about 11, sorry ladies no awnser here on how to stop this behavior but I feel ya! She has 4 brothers and has targeted only one, blaming things on him and claiming that he's "driving her nuts!" I don't remember ever acting this way when I was becoming a teen either. I think it's hormones kicking in too but the only thing that seems to work is to seperate het from the one brother she has targeted.

Amber - posted on 03/08/2010

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I think your daughter is calling for more attention. Try giving her a set one-on-one time each week ( wednesdays at 7 you go for icecream ?) and let that be your time alone with her.



Also, is it possible that something has changed.. fighting with a friend at school, getting picked on or even just simply tired?



Try maybe putting her bed time back 1/2 hour and see if that makes a difference ?...



Also, please try not to lable her or name call her.. that invites more critism for you to solidify the feelings you have ( if you label her a demon, you're naturaly going to look for more demonic behavior from her where as if you label her an angel, you'll look for reasons to assure you of that.)



Think positive of her, and remember to praise her for the good and successful things she does.

Phyllis - posted on 03/08/2010

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OMG....I have thought I was alone on this..lol...My daughter is 11yrs old and she has went from a sweet loving child to she back talks all the time has a huge I don't have to listen to you attitude. She does everything she can to get her brother in trouble. I don't understand why she is acting this way & every time I ask someone always says she's just becoming a teenager, well I remember when I became a teenager and I did not act like she is. Please anyone HELP!!!!

Rebecca - posted on 03/07/2010

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possibly hormones kicking in??? i know it's young, but apparently children are starting younger these days... time to get her a punch bag and tell her to work her frustration out on it, otherwise enrol her in a self-defense or martial arts class so she can fight others who want to fight.



i know it's hard, and you are partly joking, but be careful not to label her!

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