How do i know if my child teacher really dislikes her?

Eivon - posted on 08/27/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

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i have a 4year old that started her first day of pre k a week ago. Shes never been in any type of head start or daycare besides getting babysat by family. the first day of school she was very excited, i went to lunch with her that day and she wasnt thrilled that i went she said she wasnt ready to leave. The second day she was also happy but on the third day she cried and told me her teacher is not nice that she yells at her a lot. everyday after that she has cried and tells me after school everyday that she wants to go to a diffrent school or with a diffrent teacher. How do i go about that? I dont want to go up to her teacher and say my daughter says your mean to her. the thing is that i doubt my daighter is being bad or fooling around for her to be yelling at her, due to the fact her teacher wrote me a note in her folder and said she had a great day. At home she is well behaved and does everything on her own so i dont know what to do about this. The only reason im starting to believe that shes mean is because my child doesnt say i dont want to go to school she says i want a diffrent teacher or a diffrent school. What to do?

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Bobbie - posted on 08/27/2012

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This can be a sign of emotional distress from your daughter because the teacher doesn't react to her the way family has reacted. I doubt also if your daughter is misbehaving per say, but she may feel the teacher isn't being nice when she does things to her such as, tells her firmly that they share and not to withhold things from others. If she has only been cared for by family I wonder if she has been challenged with that very difficult concept of sharing. "misbehaving" isn't the word for a child who requires more correction to stay in her seat, not speak out of turn and allows others to have their own personal space.

I suggest you take a deep breath and look at it from the teachers put of view. Many parents are emotionally infested so deeply with their child that they can forget that the mind of a young person doesn't operate as an adults would . Example: teacher tells her 3 times to let go of an object that your daughter feels is hers or is her turn. In your daughters mind she can't understand why this person is being so mean, she only wants to keep what is' hers.

So if you make a request to move her to a different class, to a different teacher and the case is the example I stated above, then your daughter will expect that the next teacher will allow her to hold on to things she sees as hers. When that teacher also doesn't allow her to keep the object the conflict isn't resolved in your child's mind. She hasn't learned the lesson being asked of her.

I would also suggest that you speak to her on a case to case bases, not generalities. When she says her teacher yelled at her, as her exactly what was said, what did the teachers face look like, what did your daughter do in response? Can be that your daughter isn't feeling good about her teacher because she gives verbal or facial expressions that she isn't use to.

I can assure you, if you give it another week or so and she still feels the same way then speaking to the teacher is the next step. HOWEVER, No blame or comments as to what your daughter says about the teacher personally will be helpful. Just ask what could be making her so unhappy as to not to want to go to school. That should all that is needed to be said. If her teacher has an attitude, you will know it, if she is genuinely concerned that your daughter isn't happy or she has behavioral issues with her she will be able to discuss those with you without being unkind or judgmental. Teachers are awesome at that sort of thing so no need to have your guard up :)

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Dove - posted on 08/27/2012

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I agree with Bobbie. Try to find out from your child exactly what the teacher is 'yelling' about. I would be much more inclined to figuring out what is going on in the classroom and coming to a resolution for my child than to try and switch them. It is quite possible that the teacher is not a good fit for your child, but it is more likely that your child is just not used to the teacher's ways.

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