How do you control my 5 year old's back talking!?

Angie - posted on 06/20/2010 ( 10 moms have responded )

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He tells us "No", "I don't care", etc..I have tried many different angles on how to stop him, but it only seems to make it worse! Any ideas???

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Angie - posted on 06/20/2010

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I've said it before and I'll say it again. Don't try "many different angles" try one thing and be consistant for at least a week. Be quick and firm with your discipline. If it were me, I'd empty his bedroom of everything but his bed and clothing. When he was disrespectful, I'd use the same phrase every time, perhaps: "you may not speak to me like that, go to your room until you can apologize and speak appropriately to me". I wouldn't "give him a chance" and as soon as the words leave his mouth, give him "the line". Good luck!

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Vuyokazi - posted on 07/04/2010

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i'm satringto notice that too to my 4 yr old..gal..and it sgetting on my nerves..it maybe becoz we r too soft n them i'm only getting peace when her father is around..yestaday he tries it to his father..(backtalking)and wala!the fathe pinch her bumps ..ad she hates to be pinched on the bumps..she fall asleep crying lastnight..bt i can't pinch her all the time..so my children take a advantage of me..bt they respect the father ver much..becaoze he quickly pinches on the bumpes..wish u can try one of these moms advice goodluck

Kelli - posted on 06/23/2010

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U R MOM ANGIE LET HIM KNOW WHOS BOSS. U R GONNA HAVE TO BE MORE CONSISTANT WITH HIM.FOLLOW THRU ON UR DEMAND.

Maria - posted on 06/22/2010

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have you tried play therapy with a professional LCSW, i found it very help full

Brandi - posted on 06/22/2010

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My 5 year old does every single thing that is listed before my post! I dont have great advice but at least you know your not a lone. i feel better just knowing that! lol good luck

Jennie - posted on 06/22/2010

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my 5 year old son had been talking back a lot. it got on my nerves so bad but i wont send him to his room because when he comes out he is even angrier at being sent away because he thinks i don't care. i reward good behaviour, good manners and a happy attitude. tell your son very clearly that you don't like his bad attitude and that it needs to stop and you will not acknowledge it. there's is however, a big difference between ignoring unpleasant behaviour and ignoring your kid altogether. it may not work for every1 but it's been working for my family so far. the times when my son back chats and gets nasty there is usually a reason. once the bad behaviour has stopped we talk about what he wants and what i want out of the situation and come to an agreement. he may not always get what he wants but he feels included in the decisions being made and he knows he has a choice. parenting is not all about doing it our way. our children should be involved in the goins on in the house, they should be made to feel included and respected and their inputs valued. my kids think they're awesome (which they are) when they get a say. they feel grown up and they've started to act that way 2. my 5 year old still has a bad attitude sometimes but it doesn't take as long to dissipate anymore. :) hope it helps

Mary - posted on 06/22/2010

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i agree with karen, my son is 5yrs old.. when he doesnt want to listen to me he keeps on talking with low voice.it irritates me, but im ignoring it.he is justing testing my patience.but when he is starting to get worst, screaming, stampng his feet on stairs, slamming the door. thats the time i follow him and tell him 'dont go out on the room, dont scream, dont cry,with my very angry voice and face. of course with authority. to make him feel that who iam and that iam capable of hiting him on his ass.then if keeps on shouting ignore him, he get tired of crying, just wait for 30 mins or less.check on him( already asleep). another thing is..when he is saying NO.. make a 2 choices that benefits you then make him decide, make him feel that he is doing the decision.this work to my son.

Karen - posted on 06/20/2010

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I agree with Angie. Nothing works in an instant. Exept maybe duct tape lol. just kidding. My 5yr. old is now 6yrs. old and still backtalks. He is very mouthy, always grouchy, irritating his brother and sister. He's very aggressive when it comes to punishment or wanting to get his way. Frustrates me all day most of the time. But when he tells me "NO" I say one simple phrase and he's like a zombie under hypnotism. I say "I am NOT asking you, I am TELLING you to go clean your room." (firmly but not screaming or sounding stressed out). If he stalls, I repeat and add "And you are going to go clean your room right now so you can ___" eat, play outside, whatever he is wanting to do next. He usually goes right away grumbling, but does it. It's magic. For me anyway. kids are all different. It's a stage where he is testing his limits with you. What's happening is that he is refusing to listen and everytime he gets away with it, he is loosing the idea of what you are. You are becoming a playmate to him. Everytime you let it go, you are loosing your authority power. you need to find a way to say listen, "I;m the mother, you're the child and you aren't going to talk to me like that. you are going to do as I say and that's that." The worst thing you can do is argue with them. Send them to their room or something. If you stand there and keep telling him "pick up,pick up, pick up your toys........then, you are allowing him to say no, no, no and whatever else defiant that he might say in return. In that case, you are arguing with a 5 yr. old. It will go on and on and you won't get anywhere with him and he will just get worse. Keep calm, be CONFIDENT in what you chose to do with him will work, and it will get better. It takes a lot from you but you will get there. good luck.

Dorothy - posted on 06/20/2010

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My five year old is pretty much does the same thing. When she doesn't get her way. Shestarts crying and screeching. Right now our approach is tell her "take the crying to your room we aren't going to listen to it" and then ignore her.

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