How to ease my 6 year olds fears about me having another baby.?

Ellie - posted on 02/01/2010 ( 7 moms have responded )

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So I just found out I am pregnant again. I am currently 10 weeks.

Now my daughter is 6, and finishing up 1st grade this year. It has been her & I since the day she was born. We are like this perfect team.

I am excited for her, she will be an older sister, and have a little sibling to help look after and help build her responsibility. And a future playmate.

When I told her, she just looked at me blankly. I asked her if she was excited and she started crying, She told me she is afraid I will forget about her because of the new baby. Now she knows baby's are a lot of work, and I have tried to tell her time and time again that I will never forget about her, but she doesn't seem to believe me. I don't want her to resent me, or the new baby for making her feel forgotten about.

What do I do?

7 Comments

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Jennifer - posted on 02/06/2010

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Read a lot of books about new babies, and talk to her a lot. My son had similar fears, and of course they were somewhat founded. He is also six and I just had my baby three months ago, so it's a similar situation.

Cristy - posted on 02/06/2010

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go to the library ..ask if they have some books that a first grader can understand ..about moms having babies...they should have some good ones...u can sit and read them together. it helps them understand a little more...pluse have her comer to one of your apointments with u to hear the babies heart beat...it may get her excited

Catherine - posted on 02/06/2010

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I remember when I had my daughter my sister telling me a great way to help my oldest cope with the baby was to have a "little gift for them from the baby" So when she visits you and your newborn in hospital maybe have a little gift for her that is especially from the new baby. Just an idea. Also I agree with getting her involved with the pregnancy!!

Anita - posted on 02/04/2010

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As long as she is involved she will be fine! I involved my kids in everything, they came to ultrasounds and even blood tests, ( not the birth though!) We talked about how little the baby would be and that she would probably cry alot and sleep alot but wouldn't be able to play with them until a lot older. I think by the time she was born they were more excited about it then me. Still to this day (baby is 9mths) they love to help with nappies and things and are stoked that she can crawl and play with them. The only problem I have is them getting in her face too much to see who can make her laugh! You won't have to worry about that coz your daughter is the only one. They will be the best of friends.

Amber - posted on 02/04/2010

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Congrats!

Here is something you can do to help practice with her. You can get her a doll ( chances are she might have one already) and start off literally practicing what it would be like to have a baby around the house. Ask her to help you out with feeding, changing.. etc. When the baby " sleeps" make sure you spend quality time with your little girl. Take that time to ask her what she likes, what she doesn't like, ask for suggestions and always appreciate her help.
Also, there are lots of books about being a sibling, find one that would be suitable for you and her to read together.

Frequently tell her that she's going to be a great big sister, that you will all be a family together and that you need her help too. Let her help you get ready for the babe by helping you pick out some crib bedding, clothing items.. and of course, her first special teddy bear. Also, get her something a little special too. Since she's going to be a big sister, maybe let her pick out a special necklace or new dress to wear in the summer..

Keep her involved, and remember to focus on her accomplishments as well. If you spend too much time focusing on baby this, baby that, then it's possible she can start to feel left out and forgotten, so just proove to her that you would never do that,and remember to be her mum, and keep on lovin her :)

Monya - posted on 02/04/2010

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Congratulations! My son was eight when I got pregnant with my daughter and it was the same with us. We would do everything together, he was my little buddy! He was also worried about having to share me with a little sister. I had told him that babies take up a lot of time because they can't do anything for themselves but that I will love him the same and he will always be my first baby. Come to find out he was also upset that the new baby would want to play with all of his toys. When I had my daughter I had him hold her in the hospital and told him what a lucky girl she was to have such a wonderful big brother. When he saw how small and helpless she was and that she wouldn't be able to play with his toys for a very long time he was thrilled with her! Some teasing aside, it has worked out great. I know it will work out for your family. Good luck!

Christine - posted on 02/03/2010

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first off all congrats on the pregnancy..

i had my second when my daughter was nearly 4, i found the best thing to do was to involve ur little one as much as possible and let her help out getting things ready for new baby..telling her that she is going to be the best big sister and that this baby is going to love her as much as you do!! that she is gong to play a huge part in babys life as the baby will look up to her as her/his big sister and that means she is so special!! i found also that when baby is born to get a present from baby to its big sister and when people are visiting baby that they give any presents out off sight as not to cause jealousy!! might sound a bit much but my friend got a scan picture and sent it in a card to her eldest saying i cant wait to meet you from baby and her little one was excited and couldnt wait for the new arrival!!

best off luck to you and your family

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