How to handle this? Classmate took my son's toy home

Lori - posted on 10/17/2012 ( 6 moms have responded )

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My son is 6 and loves Pokemon cards. He plays them with the boys in his after school program. This week, he told me that a boytook his favorite card, shoved it in his pocket and said that he bought it at the store. Then, being 6, changed the story and said that the 2nd kid returned it to him. I did check and he does not have it. While I have told him before about not taking things to school that are important to him, how do I handle this? Do I just let him learn a lesson or try to figure out which of the 2 kids took it? It gets me mad knowing that somebody took it and feel that it should coughed it up. On the other hand, I can't go around making accusations especially not knowing exactly who did it.

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Megan - posted on 10/19/2012

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Everyone always says take the high road in situations like this. I disagree. Your son, being 6, was very proud of the things he had, and wanted to share them with his friends. But, somebody sullied that for him. In the future is he going to want to share? Probably not, and that is very sad. The after school program people should be watching these children enough to know exactly who he was playing with. And, I don't know about other parents, but I know what my children have. If I were you I would talk to the after school program people, and then speak to the parents of the children. Stealing is never okay, and whoever did this isn't going to stop with just a card, now that they know they've gotten away with it. Sure, you may never see that card again, but your son now knows that you will fight for him, and always be on his side. Children need to know that.

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Pamela - posted on 10/21/2012

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Exactly. You were not there and you cannot make accusations based on simply what your son says, even if he is truthful.



The answer is, do not let him take his favorite things to school. If he insists then tell him he must be willing to accept the loss if this kind of thing happens again.



I understand your anger, but look at it this way: How important is a Pokemon card in the real scheme of things? Is it worth your upset or your anger about the situation? Best to tell your son that if he insists on taking his favorite things with him then he must be willing to accept a loss unless he deals with it as soon as it happens, by telling the closest adult at the moment it happens.

Elizabeth - posted on 10/19/2012

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As a teacher, I can tell you that the unfortunate problem is that not all parents are honest either. Some parents know that their child has something that doesn't belong to them and yet, they won't make them return it. My son had his DS at school because he was going to have to wait a couple of hours on me. We had stuff spread across the cafeteria tables and he was sitting at one. Another child needed help with something and in the few moments he was gone, someone swiped the DS. We approached the group that was there and others but even when followed up on it again the next day, we were unable to get anyone to own up to it. I'm sure that the child's parent was aware that the DS was there because the child wouldn't be able to charge it without a charger. Still, we know we'll never see it. I would say, there's too much to worry about from a school standpoint. The kids shouldn't take anything that they can't protect. It's a shame. Perhaps you can stay after the program one day and talk with the parent of the child when they pick their child up. Good luck!

Genevieve - posted on 10/18/2012

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Lesson learned for sure. Keep the cards at home if they are important to him. Or at least take the really special ones out and only take the ones that he has duplicates of to school. But I would keep an eye on the other 2 kids for sure.

Dove - posted on 10/17/2012

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Call it a lesson learned that he should not take anything to school that he's not ok with losing.



Maybe offer him an opportunity to earn a little money at home by doing chores for you and he can buy a replacement with his own money.

Amy - posted on 10/17/2012

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Honestly I think this is one of those moments where it's a lesson learned. In the future if he really cares for something it's best that it stays home, he should only take stuff to school that he's ok with having lost or in this case stolen. You can try asking whoever is in charge of the after school program to keep an eye out for the missing card, you still won't get it back but they may remind kids to keep an eye on their stuff so that it doesn't happen again. Good luck.

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