How would you prefer your child's teacher to discuss her pregnancy?

Karen - posted on 02/22/2010 ( 16 moms have responded )

38

30

2

With teachers willing to share more about their personal lives than when I attended school, I was wondering what other mom's views were when it came to how and what teachers are sharing about their "having a baby". For example, at what grade level would you deem it appropriate to have your child's teacher share her ultrasound pictures, how far into their pregnancy would you prefer they waited (understandably this will vary depending on the grade level), would you be comfortable having you child receive fetus development updates, etc.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Rebecca - posted on 02/25/2010

556

41

55

i just don't understand your problem. i would be sad and upset for the teacher. and i would be using this as an opportunity to explain to my child that life is often unpredictable and sad things do happen. i would be using it as an opportunity to talk about those kind of feelings and teaching how to deal with those kind of feelings.

would you rather your child doesn't know WHY teacher is sad when she comes back to work?

i would also be using it as an opportunity to teach my child how to respond when something traumatic happens to someone else, and have them make a sympathy and caring card for the teacher.

also explain to your son that the teacher might well tell them what happened to the baby when she comes back, but sometimes when something sad happens to someone, they don't want to talk about it, so that is ok too.

you are talking as if the teacher is creating UNNECESSARY problems for you, whereas life is full of complications of every sort, and it is YOUR job to teach your children how to cope with that reality.

just because you don't have a close personal relationship with your son's teacher, he DOES -- lots of time on a daily basis, and it is APPROPRIATE for him to be sad about this loss. it is INAPPROPRIATE for you to focus on criticising the teacher and feeling resentful that you have to help your son with his APPROPRIATE feelings.

Amber - posted on 02/22/2010

104

16

16

Karen lindsay- BINGO

I feel that learning about babies is important, and ALL kids are facinated by pregnancy and babies. This is a great way to learn about the body, motherhood and change.

Do you expect your child to watch his/her beloved teacher ( who he/she spends almost 7 hours a day with) to just blow up like a balloon without explanation?

TNell - posted on 02/22/2010

96

26

19

As long as they are just talking about the baby and not the details of how the baby came to be I would love to have my kids see as many ultrasounds as the teacher was willing. I think it is important for them to know how special each child is and that is a fun way for them to learn how they are formed and the different stages. I would say on the timing of how far in, as early as they are able and willing.

[deleted account]

I think if my childs teacher wanting to talk about her pregnancy to class thats fine i really dont see the problem wth it. Also if there are complications or miscarraige thats sad but a part of life. When i had a miscarraige my sons were only 5 and 7 and they knew i was pregnant and that the baby died. Yes it was hard to talk to them about it but as i said thats life shit happens and kids can and do take it in their stride. If you wrap them up in cotton wool until they are 18 all you get is an adult who has a nervous breakdown the first time something bad happens.

Karen - posted on 02/23/2010

38

30

2

Well the unevitable happened, she took about a month off due to complications and had a miscarriage at 19 weeks (rumoured to be due to genetic problems) and now the kids are being asked to respect her privacy and us parents are left answering the questions of very curious and confused 6 & 7 year olds. There was very poor communication which created worry and anxiety for the kids.

I agree with the kids being told their teacher is pregnant but does the baby need to be introduced like it is a classmate. Previous teachers pregnancies were handled very differently than this one.

16 Comments

View replies by

Stephanie - posted on 03/28/2010

1

11

0

Sounds to me like you just don't care for this teacher. Seems like you are projecting your negative feelings toward this person. Ask yourself, have you found multiple faults with the teacher? Questioned her judgement in other areas? Her showing ultrasound pics and talking about her baby in utero is not at all inappropriate.

Sarah - posted on 03/17/2010

28

33

5

I just feel very sad for your child's teacher:( Yes ok the kids may be a bit confused but this poor lady has just lost her baby which to me is far more devastating then a few confused children!

[deleted account]

Children find it fascinating to see scan pictures as i found on my second pregnancy from my 4year old&her friends etc for a teacher i would say when there over 3-4mths and if the were showing kids would ask anyway even if she were to not talk about it.Its a part of life kids ask questions and love to learn things i find especially with babies..i don't see the harm in it.Obviously with different age groups it has to be age appropriate info.



If something were to happen kids to take these things better than we do and unfortunately it is a part of life.You would talk to your children about the loss of the baby and how loved the baby was by its mom&dad and how special the baby was, and that this is a sad time for this teacher etc.

Melanie - posted on 03/16/2010

31

9

1

I am a teacher with a 23 month old. My students were very curious about my pregnancy. They never asked anything that I thought was inappropriate. Some of my girls cut names they liked out of magazines and made a beautiful baby name book which is the best gift I received for the baby (maybe ever). They treated me like a queen the whole pregnancy, never letting me lift a finger. I'll never forget that special time and especially the care and attention from all my wonderful students.

Rebecca - posted on 03/15/2010

556

41

55

well, clearly we disagree on this. i believe that they are not 'adult' problems, but human problems, and i don't think school should be only about fun. i also don't believe the parents are the only ones capable of effectively communicating with a child or assessing what is age appropriate -- some people who don't even have kids have a great rapport with kids and good at giving answers. for example, i had a friend whose daughter did not understand some things about gender issues and was not satisfied with the explanation (poor as it was) given by her mother, so when she asked me (at that time i did not have kids) i gave her what i assessed to be an age appropriate response -- i knew the child pretty well, had baby-sat her on numerous occassions, etc. her mother thanked me for the answer i gave and for being able to give that kind of answer without discomfort and speaking to the child on her level. i believe that it is better for children to have a range of people -- other than their parents -- that they feel comfortable talking to --- for some people this might be other relatives, but as my relatives live at a distance, i have trusted friends that my children have relationships with. i expect my girls' teachers to answer their questions.

but i also believe if adults have a problem with something another adult is doing, they should approach the other adult and state their case. if you feel uncomfortable or upset by what is happening, approach the teacher and tell her so -- you don't have to be mean about it, but just tell her you would prefer her not to discuss these matters with your child (or when your child is there).

Michelle - posted on 03/13/2010

10

0

2

All children are different and all parents have different ways of handling issues inside and outside the home. Yes a brief explanation on why the teacher's belly is getting bigger, " I am expecting a baby " however any questions should be sent home to the parents. My child has an anxiety issue and is very emotionally sensitive, giving too much detail about the pregnancy could interfere with his learning at school as he would be fixated on how the teacher is and not concentrating on his work. I believe in age appropriate information based on each child. The only one that can determine if the child is ready for information is the parent, general information is fine, in depth information should be left up to the parent specifically under grade 3 age. I don't believe in lying to children however there are ways to explain things in ways that can satisfy a child's curiosity with out giving too much info.

Karen - posted on 02/25/2010

38

30

2

My issue is why should children need to deal with adult problems especially at school, shouldn't being at school be fun and a place they look forward to going. The teacher has been given many resources to handle her situation but none have been provided for the children or even someone to ask their questions to and not all young child come home telling you what happened at school but plenty of the parents are noticing a huge difference in their childrens' behaviour, problems learning at school and there has been an increase in "bullying" and other inappropriate behaviour in their class.



My daughter already has empathy as expressed by this exact teacher. (We had open conversations when close friends of hers mother had to deal with terminal cancer and passed away, other people close to them dealing with cancer and dying suddenly due to heart attacks.) I simply question some of the choices the teacher made seeing as how I've know several people in the same position (including myself) who didn't share as much with their coworkers, friends and family as she did with young children. She has chosen to let the children know that they will have a supply teacher once a week as she will be going to the doctor/hospital once a week. I'm not sure I understand the need for the kids to be provided with another situation where there is no one willing to answer their questions.



Sometimes before we make choices we have to remember to look at the bigger picture.

Beverly - posted on 02/23/2010

9

20

0

It isn't appropriate for them to go into detail. Plus they could get in bad trouble you have to sign a waiver allowing your kid to take the sex education stuff so she could really get in trouble for going into more about how she got pregnant or anything. She needs to just say if you have questions you need to talk with your parents. This is my opinion not only as a parent of three one who is 21 and planing on teaching and also me being on the Board of Education for 8 years.

Jessica - posted on 02/22/2010

310

12

28

I don't think seeing ultrasound pix or getting fetus updates would be a problem for my child. He's 6 years old and has a 6 month old little sister so he's been thru it already! I've talked to my son about babies and he has some understanding of where they come from, but I don't think he should hear about THAT part from his kindergarten teacher! I'm all for sex ed, but at this age it's up to me to talk to him in a way I feel he is ready for.

From the kids' point of view - they know the teacher is pregnant and it makes it more "real" to see pix and hear updates - makes it fun and they get excited about it.

In the event of a miscarriage - I had a miscarriage 1 1/2 years ago and my son knows all about it. He knows that these things happen sometimes.

Shannon - posted on 02/22/2010

21

17

6

NO I am not comfortable at all. My seven year old child found out more from her last teacher about her grand child coming to this world, than I told her when I was having her one year old sister. I am sorry I know kids are going to learn tons of things from there friends at school. But they do not tell her about fetus development. Somthings I just feel the parents should talk to there child about not the teacher. I think when they hit fouth grade they start touching alittle bit about the body and babies and by then I will be ready but first grade...

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms