I am trying to bond with my seven year old...

Melanie - posted on 11/03/2010 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I know I messed up a lot with my oldest.. she is the oldest, and I think I expect too much from her. It's the pancake theory.. you always mess up the first one! I am trying tho.. I'm trying not to be so hard on her and not to make her take on more responsiblity than she should have and actually do stuff with her.. so we are going to be making this project:

http://familyfun.go.com/crafts/rapunzel-...

She wants it purple yarn with blue ribbons. I'm hoping that by not being such a hard ass with her, that her attitude will improve and she will stop being so whiney.

How do you bond with your kids?

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My SK's BM lives on the other side of the world and has little to no contact with the kids, so I've been bonding with them. One is 7, the other is 11. I basically do things with them that they like to do. They really like going places with me, walks in the park, movies, zoo, pool. Or we play games: race track, card games, monopoly, uno. They definitely have come around and I see improvements. The key is to keep the bonding going between "fun times" by responding to her calmly. If she's whining, just say "I don't understand when you talk like that." My kids stop when I say that, and they also don't do it so often (although it still happens, but I just let it go). "Just use spinach"! I'll remember that, thanks Angie :)

Angie - posted on 11/04/2010

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You are on the right track. The first one is more difficult. My oldest is 17 and a senior in high school. We have a lot of discussions about what he wants and what we want for him; then we strike a compromise. It seems to be working, he's respectful of our decisions. In my house we have a saying, "just use spinach". We had a party a few years ago and there was no lettuce in the grocery stores so I bought spinach instead. When things aren't going as I'd like and my children want to do something odd - like were clothes that don't match or wierd hairdo's and I make a fuss, they say, "mom, just use spinach" Basically that means don't let the little stuff bother you and go with the flow. So, my advice to you is, just use spinach! Give her some slack and things will be great!

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