I think my 9 year old is why too stressed for her age...

User - posted on 06/03/2011 ( 1 mom has responded )

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My daughter is in third grade. She is REALLY hard on herself. She has unrealistic expectations and when she doesn't meet them, she freaks out. I have never EXCEPTED my children to be perfect, so I don't believe it is something I have instilled in her. She is getting out of control to the point that she broke a brush in half the other day because her hair was not laying right. She has broken a rediculous amount of pencils because she missed a problem or she didn't understand something. I am really worried that she is going to miss out on some GREAT years because she was too busy being stressed out about the little things. I don't know how to get it through to her.

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Christy - posted on 06/03/2011

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There could be a couple things happening here. The first is puberty. I know, she's 9. But my daughter started her period at 10. So the hormones could be working within her and she doesn't know how to deal with them. It's up to you to help her learn how to deal with her anger and frustration. Give her options that are appropriate. This is a long term process. I have taught my son that it's okay to go beat on his pillow, but not on his brother! Anyway, it's easier to discuss such things when you're not in the middle of the emotions. Talk about it when everyone is calm and nothing has happened. Practice options. Role play. Then when something starts to happen, you can just mention to her, "Now would be a good time to try...." Help her learn to catch herself before she gets so worked up. I've had to work with my son to help him learn to ask for help when he's getting frustrated instead of getting angry or doing damage to something or someone. Again, it's a long term process!

My daughter experienced some serious depression as she went through puberty. It's pretty common and once the hormones settle down, she "grew" out of it. Should your daughter struggle with enjoying her childhood, go visit your doctor about it. We had tried everything I could think of: heavy duty exercise, vitamin regimend, and she didn't even smile at Disneyland. One year of meds was all she needed and she's been great ever since! Oh, and if all this is related to puberty, my daughter's mood swings calmed down and nearly went away once she'd started her period! It was a nice change.

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