If my son is living with his father, which my son is 12 yrs old, 13 in June, and he constantly asks his father for help with his math homework, but his father says NO, and my son calls me, his mom for help, why wouldn't his father allow me to help?

User - posted on 02/22/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My son lived with me until he was 7, then at 7, he went to live with his father, which was a mistake, but, needless to say, he is there, 15 hours away from me. We have a court order in place for phone access, and liberal access, and computer acsess. My son and I see eachother on the computer, but when his father grounds him, he takes our communication away. Long story short, my son called me Sat morning, stating his father has taken everything from him because he is failing in school. Also because his homework isn't finished. Now, he asked his father for help repeatedly and his father says NO, I'm busy, and I don't know how to do math. So I say, get on your computer, let me help you. My son tells me he can't cause hes not allowed on it. I tell him to go and ask his father again, while I'm on the phone. Again, his father says NO, and No to me helping as well.

Why is he stopping me from helping my son? Our son.



I am starting the court proceedings today to get my son back home where he belongs. This abuse from his father has gone on long enough.

Also, his grandmother on his father's side is saying some pretty abusive things to him. Saying this," Why don't you go back and live with your mother, your making my son sick, your just like your mother" Also, "I would buy you something but your not worth it" This stuff is being said from a 76 year old woman who has raised 9 children. His father says terrible things like this as well, threatening to send him back to me, and I keep saying, get him on a plane then,



Anyone have any advice? Am I doing the right thing? I know kids at this age are not always rational, but his father will not speak to me at all, at all at all, so the only word I have to go by is, what my son is telling me.



I feel so sad, and worried about my baby, and I feel so responsible for all of this.



Anyone please give me some advice...Please...



Thank you for listening,

Kelly

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Claire - posted on 02/28/2012

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No parent should withhold contact from the other, and to do so is utterly ridiculous, sound like he's on a power trip and that can't be a good environment for your son. You thought you were doing the right thing giving his dad custody, it's now time to do the right thing and try to reclaim your son!

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Get your son back! His father withholding his access from you as 'punishment' is manipulative and illegal. That is an abusive environment and since you can't go back in time and undo him being there.... get him back as soon as you possibly can. Good luck!!

Danielle - posted on 02/25/2012

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Get him out of there! He needs to come back to live with you. Your son is being emotional abused. I also suggest that you get some kind of therapy for him.

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