IF YOU KNOW YOUR HUSBAND BEEN UNFAITHFUL WOULD YOU STA Y OR LEAVE EVEN IF YOU HAVE KIDS ....

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

S. - posted on 01/07/2013

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How are you to blame for any of that? How awful of them both! In my eyes being cheated on is the worst thing that can happen to a person but being let down like that by two people you love and trust must be the ultimate kick in the teeth.
I personally would never get over it, I could never forgive and I would never forget.
If you want to make it work I'd suggest you give counselling a go. No one can tell you if this will get better for you, some people can learn to live with it and some people like me will never learn to forgive and the situation would eat at me and I'd just be living a very bitter life.

Good luck, I wish you well

Kari - posted on 01/06/2013

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You're welcome, Laila. Please keep us posted, & let us know if there is anything we can do.

Tammie - posted on 01/05/2013

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Personally, I would leave him since I have children. I would have to think of their welfare first; I may be able to handle the adultery but I am sure in your home there is arguing. A lot of confusing thoughts as where is my Daddy? The emotional turmoil that they see their Mommy going through as crying, anger, and a little depression.. We don't want to teach our children that this is the way we treat someone in a marriage. Good luck

S. - posted on 01/04/2013

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My kids aren't like chains holding me back, you can do what ever you need to there's a lot of single mothers out their proving exactly that!

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Darla - posted on 01/13/2013

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I'd leave, just as I did 3 weeks ago. At first I was so unsure, but with the support of friends (I didn't have the heart to tell my family there was an infidelity issue) I've been getting along just fine emotionally.

It's a hard thing to go through. I've had my ups and downs, my happy days and sad days but I know I did the best thing in the end.

We were having our problems but that is never a reason to seek comfort in someone else. I had always told him I would always forgive him unless he was unfaithful. He knew what was on the line.

I honestly feel that if I stayed it would have happened again in some way, shape or form.

It all depends on the circumstances though. Whether you have a safe place to stay, what you consider cheating, how he handles being caught or whether he admits it etc.

My son's dad accepted no responsibility for what he did, so now he can do it alone.

S. - posted on 01/08/2013

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I think you need some space away from each other, how possibly can you know if you still want to be with him when he's giving you no room to breath, I think whilst he stay's your just going to get madder and madder. And as far as him saying that he can't leave you in the middle of the road IMO he made that choice when he did what he did.
Is they not anywhere you can go if he won't go? Even for a short time whilst you get your head together, because I imagain right now your feeling very hurt, weak and vulnerable.

Laila - posted on 01/07/2013

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S.j OMG YOUR SO RIGHT ON EVERYTHING YOU SAY...THATS WHAT SHE DID ..AND I REALLY DONT KNOW HOW TO GET PASS ALL THIS ..EVERY TIME I SEE HIM I WANT TO DO SOMETHING SO EVIL TO HURT him ..AND I KNOW ITS NOT SAVE AND HEALTHY TO FELL THIS WAY BUT HE STILL. WONT LEAVE ...HE SAYS HE CAN'T LEAVE ME OR THE KIDS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD...

S. - posted on 01/07/2013

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You gave her shelter because you are a good person both of them are to blame, IMO if a man is capable of cheating he will eventually the fact that she was there on a plate just says his opportunity was right. She took your good will and trashed it.

Laila - posted on 01/07/2013

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I blame my self for sheltering her..if I would of not this would of not happend...:'(.....S.J

Laila - posted on 01/07/2013

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Thank you every one for your help ...at this point iam to be blem.....I have been married for 18 yrs 4 kids different ages ...my step neice 22yrs old was going through divorce and she have a kid 5yrs old came to my house for shelter as her aunt I helped and supported her for one year...I was a mom to her and her daughter but as time passed she fell in love with my husband 44 yrs old ...and they had sex after 1 month of her staying at my house..when I found out I asked her to leave my house at ones I couldnt hit her or yelled at her I was and still iam in stages of shock HOW WHY could a woman could do what she did and HOW could a man that you give him your self heart body soule kids future life partnership support through Up and Downs of your and his life can be so ccruel to DO Sucha UNHUMAN THING TO THERE LOVE ONES...WHY....now he wants forgiveness witch I dont know how to forgive him...I dont know if I can we still live together but like roomates he wont leave....so TRULY HONESTLY WHAT WOULD YOU GUYS DO IF YOU WOULD BE IN THE SAME SITUATION. ...is there any hope here...

Julie - posted on 01/06/2013

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Good question, but totally unable to answer honestly without details. Circumstances DO matter. However, hypothetically if "I knew he had been unfaithful" I would most definitely call him out on it.
In my marriage of 13 years, we have always said to each other, "If you feel the need or desire to cheat, please let me know BEFORE hand."
Most people respond with, REALLY? And I say YES. Then they say, "then what?
And I say exactly.
Then nothing. Because If you are open to telling me, then the likely hood of it happening is less, because we are communicating.
So far so good :)

Ana - posted on 01/06/2013

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Depends. One time thing or is this his lifestyle? Happening over and over again.

To me, counseling is the first step, then see where it all goes.

Of course you don't want to disturb the kids lifestyle and remove the everyday figure of their father, but sometimes dad is more hurtful than helpful to the family.

Get counseling. If he's not willing, sometimes talk of a separation brings about a different attitude.

And if you are concerned about your well being with the kids if a separation happends, that is something to think about now as well.

Jjoplin - posted on 01/06/2013

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I had a friend (a guy) whose wife said that if he were to have an affair it had better be worth dying for. But they were a lovely couple I don't think any of them had to worry about the other...maybe that sense of humour was part of what sustained their relationship.

Laila - posted on 01/04/2013

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Your so funny ....when it does happen you really can't do much beacuse if you have kids theyr like a chain on you holding you back ...but dont ever put your guards down man are like dogs..

Kari - posted on 01/04/2013

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It's easy for us to say "Oh my god, I would leave in a second!" but honestly we do NOT know until it happens to us. Is this something you are going through right now?
I urge you to sit down & discuss WHY, WHO, WHEN, WHERE, HOW LONG...
I do not believe that happy people cheat, I really truly don't. So clearly you guys have issues to work out, if you do decide to stay (assuming, of course, that HE wants to stay). Counseling may benefit, as well as lots of talking & continued communication.

Personally, I'd like to say that I would leave, but I've never been in that situation & believe that what's injured is not necessarily broken.
Good luck. ♥

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 01/04/2013

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I always told him that I wouldn’t leave him. However, I WOULD castrate him, and hang his balls on my wall as a display to remind him of his stupidity...And, either I looked serious, or I have a good man, because I have never had a worry

S. - posted on 01/02/2013

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I would leave in a flash, I'd never trust him ever again and for me what's the point in a relationship with out trust. I also don't belive in staying in a unhappy relationship for the sake of children either I just don't think it dose anyone any good.

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