Is it normal for my sons troubled friend to name characters after him?

Sean - posted on 05/28/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )

4

0

0

I have two sons. They have recently gained a new friend who has a home life that is not normal. His dad is in jail for molesting his sister, his mom is recently out of jail for the same to his step sister. His great-grandmother has had a stroke and still taking care of him and his four sisters and one brother. (That's the background)

He recently spent the night and he took my oldest sons shoes. I got them back the following day after my son asking for them. Today he came over and when it was time to go out and play he went upstairs and put on my sons shoes that he had "accidentally" taken. My partner told him to take them off (kindly) he did. He later created his WII character and he named his character after one of my sons, the one whose shoes he wore. I was not sure how to take this and I did not say anything.

My oldest son named his virtual world character after his best friend before. However, we have not had the "other" issues with him.
Should I kind of end this friendship??? Is this little boy ok? I am just curious with his other issues.

4 Comments

View replies by

User - posted on 05/28/2012

1

0

0

Right! I will definitely keep an eye on it. You just hear so many horror stories.

Denikka - posted on 05/28/2012

2,160

5

749

I say keep an eye on it :)
It sounds like what Kristin was saying. He's just wishing for a life like your son's life. No one can blame him for that. In the circumstances, I would say that it's normal, but it CAN become an unhealthy thing. If he starts getting obsessive or does something truly inappropriate, obviously those are big signs that something needs to happen. Honestly, I would talk to a counsellor or something, someone who deals with troubled children and give a brief explanation of his parents role in his life (what you know) and about his behaviour regarding your son. They may have healthy ways that you can deal with it, and ways to help him too.
Not being a professional, unfortunately it is SO easy to think you're doing the right thing and have it go horribly wrong down the line. A professional would be able to give you some tools to deal with this little boy and to help him :)

Sean - posted on 05/28/2012

4

0

0

Ok, thank you. I just wanted to be sure. I understand children in this situation. I just di don't know if it was something I should really look into.

Kristin - posted on 05/28/2012

621

0

174

Oh my i feel so bad for this child. I think this child is very lonely and is looking to gain some sort of normality in his sad life. I mean think about this 2 parents who are in jail both for being pedophiles. Usually if they molested one child they will have molested all of them and poor grandma can not take proper care of these children if she is recovering from a stroke. In my opinion this little boy is sub conscioulsy wishing he had a life like your son's and your family is probably the most normal he has seen, and as children we all want to be loved by anyone and accepted. Also children will tend to feel the shame of what their parents have done wven though they were the victims, I think this little boy is harmless and it would damage him further to cut the friendship. I would try talking to him and seeing how you can help him, maybe look into seeing if a foster home would be better for him. I went through molestation as a child and I can guarantee you that I always compared myself to my friends and wished i would have had their lives. I knew my parents loved me and it was a babysitter who molested me but i still felt ashamed and was just looking for attention and love and a sense of normalcy. Maybe talk to this little boys grandmother and see if therapy is an option for him. My heart breaks to hear of children being harmed and I guess I have such a big heart that I try to help children and I have bought less fortunate friends of my own children thimgs or have them over for dinner and sleep overs and i talk to them and help protect them. When the childs own parents dont protect them they will reach out for someone to protect him. Please do what you need to do to help this little boy and his siblings. What you do today may save a life tomorrow.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms