jealousy

Janelle - posted on 10/26/2009 ( 5 moms have responded )

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my 4 year old son apparently has issues with babies. Was caught pushing down and throwing things at his 13 month old cousin the other day. My husband and I are considering having more children in the future and I just don't know how to go about taking care of this jealousy beforehand.

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Sandra - posted on 10/27/2009

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Doing what these mom's have said is a great way!!! But still be prepared for some jealousy when the baby comes. My son was 6 and wanted a baby and still got jealous when the baby came. Now it took only about two weeks for him to get over it but just know that no matter how much you pre pare your son you may have a bit when the baby is born.

To lessen your behaviors you could also use books before and during your pregnancy. the book "what's in your tummy Mommy" really helped my son. There are also a lot of books that are about feeling jealous when a new baby comes and how parents can love both children.

Janelle - posted on 10/27/2009

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Thanks for the suggestions so far... Although, so far I have tried almost everything suggested. School and playgroups and taking him to the playground have aleviated his issues with children his OWN age (he had problems identifying before because his cousins (his IDOLS) are 10 & 12 and in his head he's the same age as they are!). He seems okay with my friend who's got a son his age and a daughter 3 years younger... but has ALWAYS had issues with my sister-in-laws youngest two. Perhaps its only because he feels they're invading his space with her and his "favorite" cousin (who's 10). I don't know. We're working on it. Thanks for all the help!

Shelly - posted on 10/27/2009

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Have him play with other children as much as possible. Especially if you can find children with younger siblings. This will show him what is expected. Also, try making him a responsible big helper. Make him feel big by giving him a job helping his younger cousin. Maybe he can make sure the baby doesn't wander too far away or eat dirt. Sometimes if you make them feel that you appreciate their help and that they are helping, it will go a long way.

[deleted account]

For a second child - he probably will have outgrown it by the time a sibling arrives - and you can prepare him for it over the months before the birth.
For interactions with other children - explain that he has to be gentle with other children. Give an ultimatum if it isn't working during the situation (e.g. last warning and then we're leaving if you can't be more gentle; or last warning or there will be no xyz for you later (something he really likes and looks forward to) - plus add the leaving if it becomes too much).

Hope this helps.

Gennifer - posted on 10/26/2009

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Join playgroups. Has he been around other children a lot? I know for my daughter, what helped the most (she's our baby), was just being around children. So, join playgroups. Put him in pre-school, if you can. Just meet up with other moms and their children as much as possible to expose him to other children.

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