Kinder Son gets in trouble at school everyday!!!

Lori - posted on 03/16/2010 ( 10 moms have responded )

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Hi all,
My son is 5 and in Kinder. He gets in trouble in school everyday. He hits and kicks other kids. He also gets in trouble on the bus home. He says that he gets bored. He stands up on the bus and lays on the floor. We have tried so many things to help him. We have done positive rewards, consequences, special time with just him, etc. He is an only child. Please help!

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Amanda - posted on 03/25/2010

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some times it can be as simple as going from majority one on one attention to having a classroom full of kids that all want some sort of attention at the same time.....my girlfriends son had that problem for the first few months of school and they couldnt work out what was going on....turns out that he was actually scared because its always been him and mum not 18 other kids and a woman that he'd never laid eyes on before. then he worked out that if he missed behaved that he would get the attention even though he knew what he was doing was wrong...he got to the point where he didnt know how to stop himself. needless to say when my friend realised what was going on it still took a good 6 mths to work every thing out...she had to do a lot of time in the classroom for him to readjust and learn that there are other people that need help and that good behaviour is rewarded and that being in trouble isnt always the way we get what we want!!!!

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Gabriela - posted on 03/28/2010

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dont medicate! um thats just my opinion...boys are rougher by nature i think. my 4 yr old son has that problem in his preschool...maybe try putting him in a sport where he could release his energy and boredom...my sons principal and a teacher recommended sports, soccer in particular because he could release a lot of energy through the sport and at the same time learning to be around other kids and sharing and taking turns. also he may be like that and is hard to share because he is an only child so he has not had the personal experience to be with another child. although my son still has trouble with it its still a work in progress. try taking him to the park or any other place where he can release some energy...
i am learning that there are things that don't help them. i tried everything you did and have taken parenting classes after parenting classes to see if there is something that i am not doing or missing and they don't work. there are kids that no matter what you try it doesn't really work for them but that is only because they learn different.
be patient even though i know its hard to do

Rebecca - posted on 03/25/2010

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@Amanda: thank you for putting something from outside the usual labels -- I feel people quickly jump to these labels, and we need to look for other explanations FIRST before assuming there is some medical problem. i am extremely skeptical of these diagnoses, given the frequency with which they are 'diagnosed'... i know a little boy whose teachers keep insisting is ADHD and whose mother disagrees -- he plays a lot with my daughter, and yes he is pretty boisterous, but i think attributing these diagnoses to this behaviour says more about his teachers than it does about him.

Amanda - posted on 03/25/2010

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its not being naughty, its lashing out because they are frustrated and dont know how to deal with things and dont really understand why they feel like they do...they feel out of place, it isnt boredom its frustration of going from being able to do what they want, to having a routine every day of the week.....sometimes it is a big shock to their system...

Elizabeth - posted on 03/25/2010

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Have you maybe thought of challenging his need for learning at home? Or maybe a play therapist??

Lisa - posted on 03/24/2010

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I had the same problem with my son starting with pre school, in fact he was accepted into a special pre school because of his behavior. He was diagnosed with ODD( it is a stupid disorder they label kids with that are somewhat difficult but not ADHD) when he was 5. I considered having him checked for ADHD but his teacher said she didn't see the signs, and teachers see more of them at that age than we do as parents. Get his teacher's opinion about his behavior. He is 7 now and in the first grade. He still has some issues with his behavior but it gets better with time. We tried lots of rewards with not much effect from them till we started using money. When he is good for a whole day at school he gets a dollar when he gets home and after that catches on stretch it out to where he has to be good for a little longer to get the reward. It is working so far for us. Hope this helps! Good luck!!

Michelle - posted on 03/22/2010

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This probably isn't the response that you want to hear but my advise is have your son seen by a psychiatrist sounds to me like he is ADHD or something of that nature.....the only reason I suggest this is that he sounds like my son and he has both ADHD and ODD. This can only be diagnosed by a psychiatrist and it needs to be a pediatrict one as those that work with adults have not specialized in children. This is a chemical imbalance in the brain and does not in anyway make your child a bad kid. We chose to medicate our son because he was out of control and was on the verge of having no friends in pre school......he is now in grade 3 doing great and is learning how to deal with his ADHD I am hopeful that he will be med free by the time he is done Highschool but if not he is happy he is healthy and doing well get him assessed.

Sarah - posted on 03/17/2010

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My son had the same problem when he was 5 at school, I was told by his teachers to take him to a doctor as they thought he had either, ADD, ADHD or Asperger! I took him and was told that not all boys are socially or mentally developed enough for schooling. Now my son is in yr 2 and he is doing fantastic, never a problem. Good luck to you and don't let it get you down!

Rhonda - posted on 03/16/2010

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Suanne has touched on something that's a real posibility and that's ADHD. I have a son who has ADD and is Autistic. He is also an only child. Your first step is to find a good Pediatric Neurologist. Then you can develop a plan for testing and go from there! Trust me when I tell you that it has nothing to do with your son being an only child! If you make the decision to have another child that's great, but having another child isn't going to fix the problem! You also need to know what's going on with your son before you have another child! If your child ends up being an only it's not the end of the world! I couldn't have another child so my son will always be an only and he manages quite well! There is help available! Just seek it out and make sure you're satisfied with all the answers you're getting!

Suanne Alias Yell - posted on 03/16/2010

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Hello. To be honest with you, I think that it is very possible that your son has ADHD. What you are describing are the signs. I hate to admit it, but it is quite common, especially in boys, though none of my boys have it. There is proper help for this kind of thing. However, I would have him tested first, just to be sure, for it could be something else, such as simply asking for affection and\or attention. Perhaps he just needs a sibling. I hope that this has helped you at all. Thanks for the question, and God bless. Alias.

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