Lonely

Janet - posted on 04/12/2010 ( 8 moms have responded )

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Well from reading some of these questions i know we are not alone here. My daughter of 7 is lonely and to be real so am i so yes she is probably bounding of me.
She has always been like this she will have a friend and put that friend on a pedestal and she will just want to play with that friend all the time more likely because she is an only child i take her to the park almost everyday we play football and with her lego as all children she likes to play on her wii. I am not in a situation to have anotherchild i feel for her i really do but what can i do???
Her childhood is the total opp to mine i am from a family of 6 children i very rarely got a look in with my mum it was my eldest sister that used to put me into bed at night my daughter has me all to herself. All of her cousins are in there late teens now so she does'nt have any family to play with. there are no children that live in our street. She does go to football practice but i think that is mainly because that her friend goes. Please help!!!

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Debbie - posted on 04/12/2010

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I'm not sure if I can help or not. My 8 year old is a shy type (although I think she's finally starting to come out of her shell a bit). She will have one or two friends and that's it. She had a friend at school that she only sees during recess since they aren't in the same class anymore and she had a neighborhood friend that just moved away a month ago.



The only thing I did was try to get her involved in school and after school activities in order to help socialize her a bit so she met more people and had a greater chance of making friends. She's friendly but I swear she thinks other people should come up to her or something and ask to play. She's too afraid that they won't want to play with her to go up to them.



I put her in Brownies, bowling, softball, basketball, and soccer (depending on the season for the sports) just to get her out there and with other girls her age. It has helped her some but she still only really has one friend in school. AND that friend's mom is considering moving as well.



I did try to do something with her and told her that I would give her a task a day that I wanted her to complete. Sometimes I would make it something silly like sneeze 3 times in a row or something like that. But generally it's to have her raise her hand to answer a question, talk to 2 people today in class, ask someone to go ice skating with her from her class, and such like that. I'm not sure how it's helped to be honest, but her teacher did just write on her report card this week that she does see her coming out of her shell a bit.

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Janet - posted on 04/19/2010

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Thankyou for all your guidance it is just me and my daughter she really only plays with boys i've got a mum from school picking her up tomorrow to play with her friend at school. I have recently started volunteering at a day centre so i'm hoping some

friendships will come from that. Trying to make contact with other mums is hard as everybodys lives are so busy now. I also hope to get us both into a martial arts group to help build her confidence up Thanks again!

Rhonda - posted on 04/14/2010

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my daughter is 7 i sent her to the local community center to an after school program and she is with lots of other girls her age and has made lots of friends.and even ones that she has their numbers and they call each other all the time.and she even gets to be with a couple of the aids in the room which are high school girls and she loves it

Rose - posted on 04/14/2010

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Joining those organisations could be great if you can afford it. However, there could be some other emotional problem that is causing you and your daughter to withdraw from others.....I believe the cause needs to be solved first.

Seanna - posted on 04/14/2010

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Is there an after school program that she could attend and start to make friends, or see if there is a girl scout troop she could join. It could help her and you and release some of the stress you both feel. plus the girl scouts are very interactive.

Linda - posted on 04/14/2010

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My daughter is 9 and she has done the same for years. She would have a friend and put her on a pedestal and the friend moved on as she was in a different class with older girls. My daughter was so sad. She is the only child living at home but has two older brothers. Loneliness makes depression. Like the other moms wrote, Brownies or 4-H or other groups to feel a part of are great. While your daughter is in school you could volunteer at a hospital or find a group in your area that does things you have an interest in. Go to football with your daughter and perhaps there will be other parents there to chat with and perhaps get to know. When my boys were little we lived in an apartment complex where there were lots of kids to play with. When you own your own property there are no other kids to play with especially if the homes are spaced apart as we have. I tell my daughter that I am her mother and best friend also and always tell her how much I love her so.

Elizabeth - posted on 04/13/2010

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Does she enjoy having her soccer friend come to her house? If so you might throw a soccer theme slumber party. Invite some of the moms to help too. You should have at least 2 adults for every 10 children. It would be a lot of fun. Also at 7 years old she can join girl-scouts or girl-guides as the case may be. It is an awesome organization. She will be sure to make new friends.

Patricia - posted on 04/12/2010

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Janet you do not mention if you are living all by your selves just you and your daughter... do you ever socialize... apart from the same routine you could reach out and know your neighbors or visit the park and its easy to make friends when you are open... your daughter probably doesnt know how to could be she withdrawn as you are...I hear you I experienced the same when we relocated... there must be some fun places to go to and meet your age groups... all the best dear... you have each other....God Bless

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