Male authority VS Female Authority

Katelyn - posted on 06/24/2013 ( 6 moms have responded )

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Hi everyone, I have a 6 year old little boy who doesn't like to listen to women, including my self but he promptly response to a male, example is when he had a male dentist, he would listen to them and let them do the dental work that needed to be done, but with a female dentist, he fights it and wont open his mouth than he will ask for a male dentist.....in those exact words. another example is, when he started the school year, he had a female teacher, she was really nice too, but he would not ever listen to her, showed signs of defiance even and was constantly getting into trouble, than he changed teachers which happen to be a male teacher and he never got in trouble and behaved real well, is this normal? or something that I should worry about.

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 06/25/2013

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Katelyn, I know that you love your boy...we definitely all do!

Unfortunately, his father is having a huge effect on him...I am thinking maybe some counseling could help you both. I would suggest a male counselor, one who can redirect his thinking away from the destructiveness that his father is sowing in his little mind. Keeping good male influences around is also a must. Grandpa, uncles, pastor...even neighbors. My hubby 'mentors' if you will, several neighborhood kids who's fathers aren't around or whatever.

Also, keep the school and any childcare provider aware of the situation, and that you are working on it, and they're usually happy to help out. And, I'm not sure if this would work, or if you even could...but is there any way to contact your attorney, explain the situation, and request that the court require your ex to complete a parenting course?

You, my dear, did the best you could in the situation you are in. Look at it this way: You're OUT! and you're moving forward with your life, which is awesome! Keep up the good work!

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 06/25/2013

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Katelyn, you just keep it up! feel free to contact me if needed, either by PM, or on the board...

Katelyn - posted on 06/25/2013

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Shawnn, I just wanted to say I appreciate your feedback in all of this, and yes I have alerted the school last year and he got into therapy, which he has improved so much, his teacher was aware and his doctor as well, I am no longer afraid to ask for help when it comes to my son and getting him the help he needs and I , also have been in therapy for years to cope with my own issues as well. believe it or not, my sons father was court ordered to go to parenting classes and complete one, and even though he said he did, he never had to show the court anything.....in my opinion, he never believed in them and thought they were dumb. I have about 4 certs from parenting classes that I completed not court ordered, just wanted to go to get as much info as I could and when we were together I asked him to go with me a couple times, you don't even want to know what his response was to that. Anyways I now have a great man in my life who my son looks up to, I am grateful he looks after my son like his own. I know his father has a huge affect on him but the sad thing is he doesn't care about putting bad stuff in his head and what it will do to him growing up. As much as I dislike his dad, I have never once talked bad about him to my son cause I don't think that's right. I just wish he would grow up and be responsible!!!!

Katelyn - posted on 06/25/2013

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Shawnn,
I was in a very abusive relationship (verbally) where I was put down and called names almost every day, in front of my son, when my son started calling me names I had to put a stop to it and I left my sons father. I am trying to raise my son right and raise him to respect women and especially me, I know its my fault for staying around as long as I did, but he threatened me if I ever left him he would take my son from me....yes he was one of those kind of guys. Every chance he gets he talks bad about me to my son and he doesn't care about the affect it has on him, only about the fact that I left him and now wants to make my life hell.....I don't know what else to say except I love my boy, he is very bright and smart!

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 06/25/2013

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Katelyn, where is he learning this behaviour?

If you are allowing it to continue in your home, where you are the PARENT, not some nanny that he can choose to obey or not...this is absolutely ridiculous.

And no child "just does this". They don't know unless they are taught. So, who's putting the idea in this child's head that women are inferior and not to be heeded? Send him my way, I'll "educate" him...that's for sure.

Most definitely behaviour you should be concerned about.

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