My 11 year old is so 'negative' lately about pretty much everything .... any ideas?

Jeannie - posted on 09/11/2009 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My 11 year old daughter is probably reaching an age where 'changes' are going to be happening or are happening with her body and she's acting up and responding to it. I understand and I'm doing my very best to be there for her and help her get through this .... but her entering of Middle School 6th grade, and her Daddy being laid off and money being tight or non existant right now and thinking her younger sister (she's 7) 'gets everything she wants' -- seems like she's just being mean to her for no reason any more and anything and everything that happens is such a drama to her and she can flip from being so sweet and lovable to "I hate this" and "why does she have to do this?" and just everything in my life is crap and why me? Just like that -- and I'm like "whoa, where the heck did this come from?" really over-reacting to every little thing like it's a matter of life and death!

I'm assuming it's hormonal but it still doesn't help me help her get through this and the rest of us too! Especially her little sister who's alway seems to be the butt of her additude anymore!

SO I would appreciate any help anyone can offer for 11 year old girls here with this situation and additude! She's always begging for ME times and why can't we be alone and why can't I stay home with you and why do I have to have a little sister and why do I have to go to school and why can't we have this and why can't we have this! It's driving me buggy and I'm going to start getting an additude too! Along with her! (lol)

Thanks!

Jeannie

2 Comments

View replies by

Tanya - posted on 09/12/2009

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Have you tried just sitting down one-on-one with her, and asking her what's on her mind? Ask her why she's so negative about things. Why she picks on her younger sister so much. Having a good "sounding board" (for her), being a good listener yourself may make a difference. I still find it helpful, for myself, today. I do it with my daughter. Don't yell, or interrupt or anything. Just listen. It's a start anyways.

Trish - posted on 09/12/2009

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Post, pre puberty teens bodies go through so much!!! I suggest just thinking back to when you were a teen and all the little things you thaught were important back then and what upset you and you will have fantastic insight into what your daughter is going through now.. this is definately any parents life learning lesson... all you can do is put in the same routines, but be flexible!!! you'll know what would have worked for you at that age, and it will for her... she is just a "chip off the old block" after all!!! I hope this helps!!

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