My 4 year old has the WORST attitude in the world! She absolutely will not listen! I have no idea what to do, at this point I am ready to send her to a shrink!!!!! Any Suggestions?

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Kate - posted on 03/24/2009

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We use a point system in our house. We gave everything points-1 point for making bed, 1 point for saying please and thank you, points for doing something when asked the first time. We came up with a whole list and the kids helped (they are 6 and 8) then we came up with ways to "spend" their points. Staying up 1/2 later on the weekend is 10 points. Going to the mopvies is 20 points. Again the kids helped decide what was worth what. It has worked so well. I don't have to yell I just ask and mention that they can earn their points. They are even bringing dishes to the sink and helping fold laundry. It's such a positive way to encourage them. I also threaten to take points away if they're fighting and that stops  them right away. See if you can encourage your little one with something like that. Good luck.

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Amanad hit it right on with consistency and award the positive behavior. Ignore negative behavior you do not want your child especially a female child to learn to get satisfaction or rewards from negative behavior. She's four and testing the waters thats normal. Also give her choices they can be as simple as corn or green beans for dinner she will feel completely grown up and she will have some control over something in her little world. Best Wishes.

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Sara's response is great! Kids love attention and will get it in any way they can, positive or negative. The other thing to consider is that at the age of 4, it is normal for kids to attempt to push all limits to see what they can get away with. It is a phase in development that they all go through. In the mean time, remain calm, consistent, and positive. Catch her being good and ignore as much of the little things as you can. Good luck!

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Deepti - posted on 04/04/2011

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..use positive language and do not give bad names or wrong language... we need to do this to set a good example... plan a picnic outside and try to make it as better as possible.. and tell we r going to have gr8 fun if all of us try to make it... make a to do list with them and let them select their choice of work and see wat kind of response u get... initially the change will be slow but u have to be consistent in ur efforts.. in one of the pages of the given link u can get more solutions for ur problem:
http://perspectiveofdeepti.blogspot.com/...

Chasity - posted on 03/31/2011

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Omg i have an almost five year old who has the worst attitude..i have no idea what to do we have even have grounded her from things

Chasity - posted on 03/31/2011

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Omg i have an almost five year old who has the worst attitude..i have no idea what to do we have even have grounded her from things

Esther - posted on 03/24/2009

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My 4 year is having the same problem. She usually calms down when tell her she will not be doing something she likes. Example: Dora is coming to town and the moment she starts to misbehave I tell her she not going to see Dora, that seems to cool her off and she starts to listen. Take away something she likes, see if that works.

Sarah - posted on 03/23/2009

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Actually, there are two Love and Logic communities right here in Circle of Moms. Joining those groups would be a great way to get you and your daughters relationship back on the right track.

Sarah - posted on 03/23/2009

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Definately look into Love and Logic parenting!! Just go to the Love and Logic website, there are tons of books, dvds and cds you can order and you can get on their email list where you will get weekly tips. I cannot say enough about this parenting style, it works when everything else doesn't. I have 4 kids of my own, and used to have teenage girls in our home for mental health rehab. Love and Logic has saved my sanity!

Talisha - posted on 03/23/2009

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I know I may catch alot flack about this, but do you believe in spankings?  I have a two year old and she was so spoiled.  She has everybody's attention, but she would try things that she KNEW not to do.  I'd say something to her and she'd say, "so!" she would roll her eyes and all that type stuff.  And I'd tell her to watch her mouth and to stop doing things that she was doing.  When she'd do it, I could tell that she knew better because she looked for a response.  When she did it again I popped her on her bottom (pants on of course) and it shocked her, because she is "The Princess", the baby, #3 of 3.  After that, I may have had maybe 2 or 3 more incidents where I had to pop her and I don't have to do it much anymore.  And on top of that, I don't even have to yell.  I look at her with "that look" and she'll say so sweetly, "I'm sorry Mommy, I didn't mean to"   But that attitude mess is gone.

Summer - posted on 03/23/2009

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Thank all of you!!!  I dont know, I am very calm with her...  She is a little princess she gets attention whenever she wants, She goes to preschool 4 hours a day, she comes home and we have fun time.  We do all kinds of stuff with her!  I let her help me cook EVERY meal I make.  The only thing I can figure is she is just spoiled.  But, she is not scared of time out, getting things taken away, I have no idea how to enforce consequences with her to make her understand that she can not do some things and not to do it again.  It is a vicious cycle with her!!!  For instance, I just took her to the park for 2 and 1/2 hours and she would not leave when it was time to leave.  I was running around with my 2 year old on my arm trying to get her to go to the car.  She knew better, on the way there I told her that this was something fun to do because she had been so good today and when I said that it was time to leave that was that.  she agreed and when it came time to go.....  negative!

Amanda - posted on 03/23/2009

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Hello, I'm new here. We have had many life changes over the past 7 years but have been in the same home for 3 years now and our sons behavior has only mildly improved. We have now done a Connors test and are working with his school and pediatrician on things. Some things I have found through research are making sure he has consistent bed time with adequate sleep, concrete consequences for behavior and have begun supplements of Omega Complex, Vitamin E and a multi vitamin. He has good days and bad days but things are improving overall.

Sara - posted on 03/21/2009

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Is there something big going on in life?  Does she do it to get attention?  Negative attention is better than no attention.  How is your attitude?  I'm going through a divorce and bankruptcy and realized I had to change many of the things I said and did so it wouldn't upset the kids.  Even though I have little to no money, I try to do something special with the kids.  Try playing a game of Picturika.  :)  Good luck!

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