My 5 year old is driving me insane with mocking and back talking, any advice?

Arla - posted on 12/08/2009 ( 6 moms have responded )

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My son turned 5 in october he's kinder. I was a single mom up until he was almost 4. Now we all live in an apt. my son started school. He is terrible i ask him to get ready for school. He say no mommy. I say aiden you have school today. He say no i don't no i don't over and over again. Then i tell him to stop that and he says stop that. arrrggghhhh

I know he's beggin for attention because i work often, but i know there is a better way to approach this. I give time out, take toys aways, i've pulled the video game from the room. He also lost tv for 3 days. Any suggestions would be great. I have lots more to ask. but no time right.

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Debbie - posted on 12/14/2009

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I actually agree with the last post. I know with my daughter, I ran into the whole debate on whether I should let her have responsiblity of her own actions and help decide what we do or whether I should just tell her what to do. I've learned that she was too young to decide herself and when I did, she felt the need to get into EVERY conversation going on and wanting to assert her opinion and have it her way.

Once I started to let her know that I was not asking, I was telling her what to do - things seemed to work out a bit better. But I know that I did wonder what you were going to do when you pretty much stated that your discipline wasn't working on him since that's the type of things I'd use for my daughter. Although I did once threaten to remove everything from her room except her bed if her behavior continued. Luckily I didn't have to haul everything down to the basement. (smile)

Shonene - posted on 12/10/2009

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Aria,

this is going to sound soo completely simplistic, that it just won't work. Arguing with your 5 year old implies a CHOICE. If you continue to banter with him regarding going to school, he feels that eventually you will give in. Thereby creating the choice. When you tell him to do something, get something or behave a certain way, if he responds by talking back, you respond with an immediate consequence. No verbal action required. AFTER he realizes he will not get his way, then you can explain to him that you are the mommy and he is the child. You make the rules, he follows them.

It doesn't mean you aren't listening to his banter, just not responding to it. If this fails to work, then start "discipline". Which I feel should always be a last resort. You would be surprised at how easy this technique is and how quickly is yields results. Good Luck.

Maureen - posted on 12/09/2009

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Thank you Ruth and I will check this out. I havent heard of the author before. Is he Christian do you know?

Ruth - posted on 12/09/2009

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I have a similar situation with my 6 (almost 7) year old son. However, I HIGHLY recommend reading Dr. Ray Guarendi's book, Discipline That Lasts A Lifetime. He's funny and the book is written in Q&A style with him answering parents questions about various issues. He has so many good and effective ways to work on your kids...I just can't say enough good things aobut his work. Good luck!

Maureen - posted on 12/08/2009

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I myself am still trying to figure out how to cope. Our son will be 11yrs. old in Jan. and he began all that at 3yrs. old and is still going at it. He has gotten worse the older he gets because he is getting more smarted and swifter. He to will do crazy things to get attention and its not like he doesnt get it because I homeschool. I need help to.

Melissa - posted on 12/08/2009

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When he has to get ready for school, try making it a game. First give him two outfits that you approve of and let him choose which one he would like to wear. It makes him feel like he has a say in what he gets to wear, yet you really picked it out for him. Then what my son and I do (he just turned 7 in Oct.) and we have been doing it for years. We have a race to see who can get dressed first. And that includes his shoes and jacket. And once that is done, we race to see who can get into the car and get buckled first. It's really fun and get's me moving in the mornings as well. And if he still refuses to get dressed, I would send him in his pj's. He won't want that to happen again, cause not only would I send him in his pj's but I would also ground him and take all his toys away for 2 days. He will change his attitude. And when my son would repest what I was saying, I would say one of those tounge twisters that he can never repeat and he would stop. Like - how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood - say it really fast. He will be baffled and will not repeat it. I hope this helps. Happy Holiday's!!

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