My 5 year old trouble in the school yard

Simona - posted on 10/15/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )

21

0

0

Hi Everyone,
I am looking for suggestions here regarding my 5 1/2 year old behavioral issue in school. J is a very sweet and loving boy... Last year on our first year at kindergarten we had emotional and behavioral issues and in part I would blame the teacher but this is another subject... This year instead....First of all he changed teacher and even parent/teacher communication have improved hugely. He seems to finally have learnt how to behave in class, and he is a lot more into the "I want to learn" than "Working is boring, I don't like to go to school". J mentioned at the beginning of the year that he was not going to play with the "mean boys" anymore, that he was going to "behave", but ....in a month he hit other children 3 times already. This happens always outside during breaks. Boys, especially are very physical in his class. He wouldn't start this games but he would join and end up hurting someone (not badly...a push, a kick, and a punch, not all together, this were the three instances)....I told him not to play these games or not to play with these other children, and I told him that he has to learn to control himself, like Hulk (Also considering he is the biggest in his class, even though the youngest).
Another instance, is when he doesn't get the attention from his friends and, instead of talking or going away when he doesn't get what he wants, he pushes or poke...not hurting really...more like annoying them (this happens with little sister at home as well).
I don't know if I am exaggerating, if this is normal behavior for a very active 5 year old boy. I don't know what it's normal since I was constantly beaten by my older brother. I see it is nothing like that, and that immediately after it happened he realized that he did something wrong. He is afraid to tell me about it cause he knows I would be cross. I don't know if I should discipline him at home for these things happened in school, and I don't know what to do to make him understand that this is unacceptable.
Could you please give me any suggestion on what to do, and how should I respond.
I can't spend the whole year afraid of collecting him at school....
Thank you so much.
Simo

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Enna - posted on 10/17/2013

521

10

204

I think it's somewhat normal. Not all kids do it, but there are plenty that do. Especially the younger kids who haven't learned to control themselves as well.
If he's being punished at school for it I don't think he needs a punishment necessarily at home. The teacher/adults at school need to address the situation immediately, and you can't control what happens at school.
What he probably needs is for you to go over different situations with him and let him practice how to deal with it. (Maybe include little sister in the practice so that she can see what to do, she may not understand, but it probably wouldn't hurt to get her involved. Especially if she's getting picked on too. See how he reacts on his own, then help him think of a better way to respond that won't get him in trouble. If you practice it for awhile then he will remember what you practice and use it as a tool at school.
Now if he does something really bad and gets in big trouble at school, then yes I would punish him. But I would also have him make a note or card apologizing to the child that he hurt. I would recommend that he does that every time he hurts someone. And I would help him think about how it makes the other child feel when he does something like that.

2 Comments

View replies by

Simona - posted on 10/23/2013

21

0

0

I am def going to try that technique you suggested me....i will let u know ow it goes. Thank you for spending your time answering to me...s

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms