My 7yr old worries too much!

Jennifer - posted on 10/29/2009 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My son just turned 7 over the summer & when it was time for him to go back to school all he did is worry about everything, I mean I have noticed before in the past that he worried more than the average child, but never worried this much before. He worried about eating breakfast at school, about the new time that school was out, about riding the bus home, about his sister getting on the bus, almost every little thing he worried about, It got really bad when one morning he was screaming and crying cause he was afraid that he was going to have a different bus driver after school, so he wanted me to pick him up. I told him no I wasn't going to pick him up and that he shouldn't worry if he has a different bus driver cause it didn't matter they were going to still drop him off at the same spot, plus he had his older brother and lil. sister on the bus with him, and I waiting at the bus stop for them...but he wouldn't stop crying and throwing himself on the floor. then soon it was that he missed me too much to go to school, he even told me that he is in school for 6hrs. and that is too long to be without me. I don't know if that was an excuse for him not to go to school or what, so this bus worrying thing was beginning to be a real big issue so I started picking him and my other kids up from school. I thought that might calm him down, but he would just bug me all morning if I was for sure going to pick him up from school, I would reassure him that I was going to be there, but I don't think that was good enough cause he started calling me from school just to ask if I was going to be there at 2:05 when school was out, of course I thought to myself I'm going to be there, why would he feel like I wasn't going to be there?! Then the calls went to two times a day, and now he wanted me to get there extra early just encase he couldn't see me, I would always get there early anyways, and stand right by his class room door, and my daughters K class the next door down so that worked out perfect as well but then he was worried cause he wanted to get out of his class early to go to his sister's class to get her out early too just encase she got on the bus by mistake. Then also he would ask me to say word for word that I would be at the school at 2:00 not 2:05 just for that fact of what if his sister gets on the bus by mistake, I explained to him that I had talked to his sister and she knows I'm going to pick them all up....I think it was because his bro. & sis both wanted to ride the bus home, and he knew they were upset that he was making such a big deal about it. My son is a A+ student but I noticed the 2 wks when it was the worst his grades went down to C's I talked to his teacher to see if his worrying is getting in the way with his school work and she said at first it did but then she would talk to him and reassure him as well. We both agreed that he should talk to the school counselor. Well he was in the same room as the Teacher and I when we were discussing the matter so he knew he was going to talk to the counselor...well he worried about that asking well what am I going to do there, what are we going to talk about and so on and so on, but I told him everything would be alright that she just wanted to talk to him and see why he was worrying so much. a couple weeks later I was watching something about child abuse and he happened to walk in and was asking about child abuse and what it was I explained it's when some parents abuse their kids and then I told him parents go to jail for hitting their kids, well my son worried about that too! I don't spank my kids but if I'm really upset I will tell them "do you want me to spank your butt if you don't behave" only a few times I have had to spank him on his butt. well this morning he finally met with the school counselor...she is real nice, I had met with her before just to get more info. on what she offered and she wanted to know a lil about him too before she met him. well I get a phone call from her this morning saying they had there first meeting and everything went well, but she told me I need to ask you something but don't be alarmed!, I was like ok! well he told her that he didn't want his parents to go to jail for spanking him, I was beside myself because he was worried so much that I was going to go to jail for spanking him before, she had to tell him that sometimes parents spank, but if they hit you for no reason and it makes marks on your body then that is a problem and then he needs to tell her, well I didn't really know what to think, I told her that we discussed the issue about child abuse but I didn't think he was really worried about one lil. spank. Well she told me I know nothing bad is happening at home. she just had to tell me cause he had brought it up. I still don't know what to think, I'm not worried but I'm like what is the counselor really thinking you know, like why is this boy saying he's worried because he doesn't want his parents to go to jail. I'm concerned cause I didn't think his worrying would honestly be such a big issue, I have no idea how to talk to him now, cause I don't know what he will or will not worry about. It seems like every lil. thing, he going to worry! I've tried the(I'm going to satisfy his every demand) the (I'll buy you a candy if you get on the bus) finally I had to just do the tough love cause I was so stressed out and overwhelmed my hair was falling out in clumps, but it has gotten a little better, the bugging all the time has stopped the phone calls are still there, but I finally got him to ride the bus home. He just still has to ask if I'm going to be there waiting for him at the bus stop. I just want to see if there was any other mothers out there dealing with the same issue....having a child who can't stop worrying.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

User - posted on 10/29/2009

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My children have anxieties. All see professional psychologist and see a psychiatrist regularly. The school works with their special needs. There is a great book written for children called WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU WORRY TOO MUCH. Hope this helps.

Kelly

Stacy - posted on 10/29/2009

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Maybe try a cunsoulor out side the school. It can be a type of "ocd". Very treatable. Or maybe just talk to him more. Try to reinsure him on a daily basses that everything is okay. But I would try to get to the bottum of it before it gets to out of control. It can just be him trying to get more of your attention to. Do you spend one on one time with him? Try doing things with just him, andd your other kids as individuals. He could feel as the middle child he doesn't get the attention the others do, and this can be his way of doing it. But you did he has always worried about things.

It is scary to constantly worrie, I do the same thing. I am always scared of something happening. I have to constantly remind myself today is just another day, and everything will be fine, just as it was yesturday. The worrying keeps me up at night, and I tend to get really irritable. Try to get to the bottom of it because it gets worse . Good Luck!

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