My 8-year-old is having trouble making and keeping friends - any suggestions??

Karen Sue - posted on 04/07/2010 ( 8 moms have responded )

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Meaghan is having all kinds of trouble with the neighborhood kids. I think it might be because they're all at an age when it's hard to play in groups, they just play better one on one, but I am beginning to think that is wrong because at age 8, it seems like they could play in groups of 3 or more without so much drama. However, every time my child plays with her "friends" in the neighborhood, and there are 3 of them playing together, she always winds up feeling excluded and comes home all angry and frustrated and crying... I don't know what to do...

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Geri - posted on 04/07/2010

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also remember being an only child..sometimes they have trouble sharing friends...when there are siblings...they learn rather quickly...and yes the age range can be a bit of a problem...I would suggest supervision while they are playing...just so you can get a handle of exactly whats going on...so maybe like a play date or something that you can interact with them as well...like paperdolls maybe or hopscotch?? just a suggestion...

Rhonda - posted on 04/09/2010

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yes it is that age... i have the same thing going on with my 7 year old daughter and it is a group thing i noticed and i teach her that to not take it too badly and to always be herself no matter what...be nice about situations... and i do agree with arranging for a few playdates and make it a special time where each of the little girls can see how your daughter is as a person..you know where she can think ohh ok this is kool...and on each different playdate you can see how each kid is to yours and it will help you help her on how to react or feel on situations..and it doesn help for your childs friends to know you that will help the girls not want to treat yours bad because they dont want her to tell you,because they want to be able to come over an have fun again

Misty - posted on 04/07/2010

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If you know others that have children your age you should ask to take them for a day- your child will have no choice but to befriend them and play! Hopefully that will start a friendship outside of your home also with this child.

Patricia - posted on 04/07/2010

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Uneven groups are tough and in my experience it is always tougher with girls. This is totally normal I would not stress it too much they will work it out if not limit the playtime with them until they do. Teach her how to communicate her feelings to you and her friends rather than crying getting angry and storming off getting along with others is important keep at it she will get it!

Jessica - posted on 04/07/2010

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i remember this at age 8 and honestly for some kids such as i was and possibly your daughter,we just did better with one on ones.some kids act differently towards your child when there are more then 1.I would invite the kids over such as my mom did and get to know them and check them out to see if its them or maybe your child is just not compatible with those kind of kids.I hope this makes sense.Best of luck to her!

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Karen Sue - posted on 04/07/2010

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She was an only child until this past November. Also, the kids in the neighborhood range in age from 5-11, so that may contribute to the problem.

Geri - posted on 04/07/2010

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maybe you could arrange just a play date for her and one child...and observe how she plays...and also some kids are not easy to play with or there is a struggle over control...you know...one kids wants to play tag and the other wants to color...I have the same issue with my own kids playing together and I have 3 of diff ages. one other question...is this your only child or do you have others?? .lol good luck and god bless...

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