My almost 5 year old does not respond to other adults too well!!!!!

J - posted on 09/16/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )

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Hi,

My sons is turning 5 next month and he is in kindergarten. He did well at one year of preschool making lot of friends and receiving "outstanding" in all areas on his report.
It's been 2 weeks he started his kindergarten and his bus driver is telling me that he does not respond to her questions whenever she asks...... She is asking if he is shy? This is not the case with all adults though. According to his teacher, no behavior issue and when he focuses, he is so smart but does not follow instructions at times.....(btw, this school is so strict they follow "Instruction is given only ONCE". I am wondering if he is making friends. Whether true or not, he told us "no one wants to play with me". Then he tells us he likes the school and refers his classmates as "my friends". I am totally worried and confused!!!! Does he have issues with communication development skills? He does not at all with us and he did not at preschool. May be he needs more time? Help ladies!!!

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Enna - posted on 09/19/2013

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I think Jane has it right. My only comment is that both of my kids are constantly going back and forth telling me about having no friends and the next moment they say they're the most popular kid in school. One tiny thing can happen and suddenly it changes their entire view on friends. My kids are 6 and 13, and they both do it, so I don't think it's uncommon :)

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J - posted on 09/16/2013

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Thank you so much for your detailed response and encouraging words!
I really appreciate it..... Him being the first and only child, his mommy does get anxious at times. :)

Jane - posted on 09/16/2013

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I think it's fairly normal for some kids not to respond to all adults - maybe he does not care for her approach? Maybe being on the bus is a bit overwhelming? I would just ask him why he doesn't answer the bus driver. One of my kids is an introvert and if someone is a bit too friendly (forward) he gets timid. He does best with people who don't really put him on the spot, and are less forward.

If he is fine with you, and at preschool and the teacher says he is fine - I wouldn't worry about it. Trust your gut. Does he seem happy? even introverted kids can be completely happy. If it's one person he's just met that has you worried, I would let it go. If he doesn't always follow instructions, that's also pretty normal for a five year old boy (or it was with mine). :)

As for making friends, kindergarten I find is different than preschool, where the focus is on playing with other children. My kids made kids faster in preschool than kindergarten (just took a little bit longer) because they are more focused on learning and getting used to school than building friendships. He will, and if he refers to them as "my friends" then that's great. Kids don't always play with each other the first few weeks of kindergarten - they tend to run around on the playground, especially if they don't really know each other.

Hope that helps - he sounds perfectly fine :)

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