My daughter is 7 and she has terrible temper tantrums ..so bad she hits me ect ...ive been using the Marble technique and it has been working ...but as she gets older she is getting more dominant in the family home ...i need help please x

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Ariana - posted on 09/11/2012

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You may want to tell your daughter she needs to go to her room when she's having a tantrum (or some other designated area) until she calms down. If she leaves her room or the area, bring her back without any reaction, simply tell her once that she can leave once she feels ready to be calm. It would probably be a good idea to explain this beforehand also. This is different from a time-out because you aren't forcing her to stay in a certain spot, she's basically choosing either keep throwing a tantrum, away from others, or calm yourself and be around others. It's her choice.



The main point is to be calm, consistant, and not react. If you speak to her after the 'please go to your room until you can be calm' it will be giving her negative attention. Even if she leaves you stay silent, avoid eye-contact, and bring her back to her room. The first couple times she may freak out forever but if you stick to your guns she will realize you're serious and ultimately she's better off staying there until she's ready. It helps to tell yourself that it's not really bothering you and it doesn't matter that she's trying to hit/yell/leave, you just bring her back and if she leaves bring her back over and over until she gets it.



Once again, this will ONLY work if you do not give negative attention during it, do not react, do not talk to her, do not allow yourself to be angry.



This of course would go along with any other measure you have.



If this is really becomming a problem you may want to have councelling, either for yourself or her. Actually some sort of family councellor would probably be the most helpful to talk to her and help you figure out how it might be best to handle her.

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