My daughters friend is a brat when his mother is around, how can i keep playdates at my house without the mother being present?

Heidi - posted on 11/14/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My daughter is five and recently started kindergaten, she made friends with a young boy in our trailer park. I like his mom just fine on most occasions, and we've started having playdates for the two of them. The problem is, when this boy comes to my house, him and my daughter play great, but once his mom comes over to get him, he starts acting like a little brat, and she does nothing to stop him. Yesterday we had a problem because they made forts in my living room, and when his mother came to get him, he thought it was cool to go into my daughter fort, i told him no and she told him no, but he still continued to crawl in there. My daughter tried to push him out and accidentaly scratched him, so being the mother i am, even though it was an accident, i sent her to time out for "putting her hands on another person". Then the boy grabbed two of my daughters marbles, and insisted on taking them home, when the mother tried to tell him to give them back, he tried to headbut her several times, upon which she promised him his own marbles, and finally they left. This morning the little boy had a brand new bag of marbles.!!! I tried to explain to my daughter that i don't condone that sort of behavior and if she wanted marbles herself she would have to earn them, we are going out later to buy her a bag... I just can't believe this mother rewarded her childs bad behavior. The question I have is, how can i get him to come over and play without his mother being present? When she's not here the kids play fairly well, it's almost like the little boy knows he will get rewarded with bad behavior when she's around, and i don't want my daughter witnessing that. any thoughts?

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Barbara - posted on 11/16/2012

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I agree with Anastasia that maybe you should take the kids to the playground and tell the mom you will pick him up and bring him back. If he mother does not agree to this then I would move on to other friends for your daughter because you do not want her around this kind of behavior.

Anastasia - posted on 11/14/2012

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best bet is probably to offer to bring the boy back and forth if that doesn't work explain to her that hes acting out excessively when she is there and just play it off as you aren't exactly sure why but his behavior does a 180 when shes around maybe play it off as your daughter gets scared when he flips or something; also another idea would be taking both the kids somewhere for the playdates the park or zoo or something as long as it requires you to pick up the boy and bring him back .

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