My side of the family has always been negative toward my younger daughter

Anonymous - posted on 08/03/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )

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When my dad was still alive, he and his girlfriend would always pass judgment on my younger daughter. She is gregarious, outgoing, and very sensitive. My father would tell my sister about his opinions on her behavior and judge my parenting, (he was abusive both physically and verbally). In a nutshell, my sister and her husband have this bias against my parenting - they feel that I don't discipline her and that she should be quiet unless spoken to, just like my older daughter, who is almost completely opposite of my younger daughter. My sister's son is somewhat lazy, sheepish, and submissive to his mother but he does rebel by smoking mj whenever he can. I don't want my daughters to be like that and while I feel that my younger daughter is not perfect, I still don't want her to grown up without feeling self secure and self reliant.
I do discipline her but I don't run to smack her every time she talks back, (which isn't very often thankfully). How I handle her misbehaviors is by taking her into another room and telling her what she did wrong and then giving her 1 warning. If she misbehaves again, then she is punished by either a smack on her butt or I take something away - it depends on how severe her misbehavior is. When I grew up, I was embarrassed in front of my friends, extended family, neighbors, you name it. I don't agree with that totalitarian discipline as it causes a person to have self-esteem issues.
The funny thing is my older daughter in their eyes is an angel but they don't remark on my parenting skills when it comes to her. I think they fail to realize that my kids are 2 different people and although my gregarious daughter is not the quiet sheep they think she should be, she is funny, sweet, hard-working, and very motivated. She's an excellent student and athlete. Should I tell them to back off or is it not worth the trouble? THANKS!!

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Medic - posted on 08/03/2012

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Tell them if they cannot treat your girls equally then they can take a hike.

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Tanya - posted on 08/06/2012

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I agree with dove, i dont talk to my abusive parents or my siblings who all have issues . But my children are dearly loved by my close friends who i have now made my family , the family my blood family could never be . my children are no longer subjected to criticism or negativity from nasty relatives . I am happier and so are my kids.

Dove - posted on 08/04/2012

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Ditto Medic though my comment was going to be 'And you are exposing your children to these people why?'

Blood and marriage make people relatives. Love makes people family. I have no problem whatsoever cutting relatives out of my life when they are harmful to me or my kids.

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