my son will be 6 soon how old is to old to take him in the womens restroom when we are in public?

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Carla - posted on 05/27/2010

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Sorry, I have to be the scary, paranoid grama of the group here. I went in with my children/grandchildren/nieces until they were teenagers. If they were small enough, I held them over the potty so they didn't touch the toilet. My son went with me, taking precautions, of course, if there were other women in there. This is a scary world, and we are to protect our children however we can. And to the question if a man would take a girl into the mens' bathroom, I think men have enough sense to ask a woman going into the restroom if she would watch over his daughter, and allow her to go in with her. Nothing much bad happens in a womens' restroom. Boys can assert their manhood in other areas, when we are in public places, my children/grandchildren are as close to me as I can manage. I would rather be a little paranoid than live a life of regret if something happened to them.

Sabra - posted on 05/26/2010

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How are you, Jennifer?

My son is seven soon to be eight in August and I have a huge problem with him going to public men's restrooms alone. There have been rare occasions---and I mean extremely rare---when he's gone into a public men's restroom alone and I keep him talking the whole time he's in there. I make it a point to ask him if he's in there alone or if someone is in there with him. If he's alone I'm better about it but if someone's inside I make sure they know I'm there waiting for my son and will put a hurtin' on anyone who tries to harm him in any way.

Usually though it has been far easier to take him into the women's restroom with me---whether or not he needs to use it---just so I can keep better watch over the situation. I'll pull him in with me if I have to go. If there's a lounge within the restroom I'll have him sit there in an effort to keep down the discomfort of other women. So far because there have been so many incidents of child molestation many women don't seem to mind his presence.

Even though it irritates him more now that he's gotten older, still I'd rather be safe than sorry.

Stay encouraged!

Amanda - posted on 05/29/2010

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I still take my 5 year old into the womens restroom with me....if I don't, then he plays with stuff he shouldn't be. I will let him go into the men's room with his 10 year old brother. There are too many weirdos out there to not be too careful.

Angela - posted on 05/28/2010

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Personally as many nuts as there are in this world I am going to take my son(in a stall of course) till he refuses to go to the ladies room lol

Hope - posted on 05/28/2010

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my oldest is six and if Daddy is not with us then he goes with me. I have a huge issue with trusting strangers and thank goodness he doesn't seem to mind. The only time he gets to go by himself is when there is a family restroom mostly because I can stand outside the door and no one else can go in. But he doesn't seem to mind yet so I will keep this up until he protest and then at that point we will work something out.

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Mary - posted on 09/28/2011

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not at all. i see no problem him going in at 13
in other country there is not restroom for men or women
it all one restroom
they never had problem with kids get molested by others

Nicky - posted on 06/24/2010

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i still take my son to the women wc when its just me n him and his nearly 8.but when his dad is with us he takes him.i will not have my son go into a man toliet on his own !

Carla - posted on 06/23/2010

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You're welcome, sweetheart, have a wonderful day! We're always here for you ;)

Jennifer - posted on 06/22/2010

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thanks everyone..these responses helped out alot and i respect everyones response. i just think he feels akward when he sees a little girl in the restroom, but just teaching them how to be a gentelman makes it easier.THANKS EVERYONE!!!

Martha - posted on 05/29/2010

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I guess when he gets embarrased of being in the lady's bathroom!or until you feel he is ready to go by his self to the mens bathroom!

Myannie - posted on 05/29/2010

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my son is 5 nearly 6 it depends where we go if it somewhere i know well then he will go on his own t the mens but if not he will go to the ladies with me or his older sister whose 10 1/2

Darlene - posted on 05/28/2010

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ur son will let u know when he is ready 2 stop going in2 the restroom with u it's not worth worrying over it. both of my boys go in2 the mens room without me i just stand by the door & watch every person who leaves the room 2 make sure that my boys are not with them & after about 2 mins or so i will open the door & yell in there it works out good & they r 6 & 8!

Jenn - posted on 05/28/2010

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One thing about WalMart is that I have noticed, is that some of them have "family' restrooms. I think that this is a good idea just for this reason!

Shirley - posted on 05/28/2010

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My 5 year old boy is very independent. When we are in a restaurant, He can go by himself if I can see the entrance to the restroom and it is not to close to the entrance of the restaurant. If I cannot see the restroom,I go but wait outside the door unless I need to use the restroom then he goes with me. whoever finishes first stands in front of the others stall and watches their feet tapping, or hopping skills :) (it works) then we go wash our hands together.

Brandy - posted on 05/28/2010

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My son is 10, and sometimes he still goes in with me and my girls. I just feel some places are safer than others(better be safe than sorry) and sometimes he comes in on his own becouse the mens room is "disgusting".

Julie - posted on 05/27/2010

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I'm a single of a nine year old and I take my son in the rest room w/me and to be honest I could care less about some woman being annoyed ,I'm a mother first and foremost,did anyone hear about the 12 year old boy who was sodomized in a public restroom -the rapist walked by the mother as she waited for her son outside of it...so please another mother can beg my pardon and be annoyed ill keep protecting my son,its my job. Julita Castro

Shelley - posted on 05/27/2010

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I took mine at that age anything can happen in a public bathroom like a mall one. If they refused I made sure it was empy & i would make them sing as I stood out the door I am still cautious in big places. A couple of yrs ago we were at an exibition in my city & dh was in the bathroom with one of our sons they happened to be in a stall thankgod because a group came in and beat a guy with a belt while my dh protected our son on the other side of the stall it was a quick thing but horrifing my son was litteraly sick after my dh had to walk him past the guy on the floor while he called 911 so anything can happen.

Julie - posted on 05/27/2010

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Also, (I wanted to add) Many public places are starting to incorporate a "Family" restroom because of questions and risks that arise in this situation. If someone does not like the fact I have my son in the restroom with me they can stick it where the sun don't shine. I will allow my children independance at an age an maturity appropriate level.

Julie - posted on 05/27/2010

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My son is seven and I take him to the womens restroom with me. My daughter who is 10 goes alone so that is probably when I will let him go alone. There are too many freaks out there

Pam - posted on 05/27/2010

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Ok women I understand all your concerns about taking or not taking your boy to the womens rest rooms. I understand that your to scared to let your boy go into the mens bathroom by himself because your worried that something might happen to him. We can't be paranoid all the time and not trust anyone can we. It just slows down there learning process and being independent little men. What if a men takes there little girsl to the mens room at the these ages? Do us as mothers thinks thats alright? Little girls are just as curiouse sometimes just like little boys about the whole peaking thing. What don't we think that women can't be just as dangerous as men for sexual petaphiles. Women are less likely with the whole sexual perpatrator thing but still it happens. Women are more likely I think to be kidnappers than anything else. I think we as mothers need to try not to be so paranoid about things like this all the time. I've told my boy that if anyone in the bathroom says anything to you that you don't like or trys doing anything to do you. Scream as loud as you can, kick, bite, do anything mean to the stranger that you can think of trying to hurt the stranger. It's just if you let your kid go into a store and there an aisle from you. Do you freak because he's in the next aisle or do just commlly stop doing what your doing and go see what he's doing? Like when I go to walmart by the electronics and they have the game systems set up so people can try them. Since I'm just a few inches or so away from there I let my child go play with them. I tell my son all the time if you can't see me just shout for me I will here you or just come find me I'm not that far away. I always know where my son is at when we are in a store. Mostly walmart is where I worried about stuff the most but I also tell my son to scream as loud as he can if someone trys anything to him. I tell him don't be afraid to scream I will hear you and so will everyone else which is a good thing. I also try to remember everything my child is wearing that day to when we are out shopping. Remember your kids shoes is the most important thing. The name, the color, and whats on them if any characters of sorts. Also always have a recent pic of your child in your purse. Try making your kids a picture ID. with age, sex, wieght, height, hair color, skin color, date of birth. My sons school gives those out on when they do there school pictures every year.

Erica - posted on 05/27/2010

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my son is 6 also and for the last year or so he's been insisting on going to the men's restroom lol

Marjorie - posted on 05/27/2010

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Safety first! In any situation, safety first! I'd hate to have my child abducted because someone felt a little uncomfortable with my son in the bathroom.

Bobbi - posted on 05/26/2010

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My son is 11 and depending on where we are at... occasionally I still make him go in with me. I know its a little crazy but there have been several abductions, rapes, murders, ect in public restrooms and I am a little parranoid. I ONLY make him if we are in a VERY large place or at night. Most of the time he does not have to go in with me. Like i said, it really just depends on the situation and place we are at.

Ann - posted on 05/26/2010

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Personally, I think that is a decision only you can make. You should keep bringing him in with you as long as you feel you need to. I would check with him about how he feels about using the mens room, but only after you feel comfortable about him using it. I've seen many posts here from women saying they think there is a certain age that is too old, but I think it depends on the child, the situation, the location and your instincts. Don't worry about the comfort level of the other women and girls in the bathroom, your child's safety is much more important than anyone else's comfort, in my opinion. I would be horrified to think anyone would give you a bad time about bringing in a 6 year old.

Yolanda - posted on 05/26/2010

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my son is 8 and he goes in the bathroom with me he is also Autistic so he cant go in the mens room alone, but I understand what you mean I get looks from other moms or woman ( we all know the look like isnt he to old to be in here) heres my situation like Michelle said for his safety its terrible these days!!

Michelle - posted on 05/26/2010

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my son is 6 , and for his safety I take him with me unless his dad is with us.

Sue - posted on 05/26/2010

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5 cause her refused to go in the girls room

but I could stand outside the door. He's 9 now and I still do

[deleted account]

Most Moms dont have a problem when they see another Mother toting her 6yr old into the bathroom with her. I made mine "protect the door" outside, for privacy and also so other Moms knew before hand that he was there. I think around 7-8yrs I would find a bench close-by or the security guard at our wal*mart doesnt mind sitting with my son when Im in-disposed. Hope this helps.

Terri - posted on 05/26/2010

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It depends on how ready he is to go into the mens restroom by himself. If he's ready to then let him go & stand at the door, waiting patiently.

[deleted account]

One thought just occured to me we are worrying about other women feeling uncomfortable with boys being in the toilet what about all the women standing outside the mens toilet waiting for their sons opening the doors and shouting in to see if their sons are ok? Im just imagining all the men at the urinals going bright red at some woman barging in to see if little Tommy has finished having a pee lol.

Leigh Ann - posted on 05/25/2010

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Well my son is also 6 yrs old and hates going in with me...however in todays society its unfortunalty unsafe for him to wait outside amongst strangers. I feel safer with him inside thw womens restrooom even if he is un happy about it. I have him turn around close to the doorway, he seems okay with it when i explain its not safe away from me, even if for a second...

Sarah - posted on 05/25/2010

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I have a 6 yr old son and he uses the gents toilets on his own, depending on where we are. If we are out shopping and its busy then he either goes in the baby changing room to use that toilet (as single toilet), if its free, as I know it'll only be him in there. And then I normally wait outside the door. Or he comes in the ladies with me. My general rule is if its a quiet place, or a place that has single toilets I let him go in on his own and I wait outside the door. If we are somewhere busy or somewhere he doesn't really know then he comes in the ladies with me.

Vicki - posted on 05/25/2010

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I have a 10 year old son and a 5 year old son my 5 year old always comes into the toilet with me , but my elder son wouldnt dream on it i think 8 year is a good age for them to start useing the gents .

Yolanda - posted on 05/25/2010

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I have a 8 year old son and a 3 year old daughter. If I had to take my three year old daughter to the bathroom , you better believe, i will have my son in the bathroom room with us. I will not leave him out alone to wait for us. I have to do what ever it takes to protect my kids and don't care what anyone thinks. When he uses the mens bathroom., I do stand outside of the door and wait for him and if i think that he is taking a long time, I will open the door and call for my son. My son is also very respectful to all people and he does not play around in the rest rooms.

Terry - posted on 05/25/2010

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Great question. But remember too ladies, if you have to take your son, and tell them to wash their hands, they need to wash both hands. I heard a lady tell her son, "come on, you don't need to wash both hands, you only used one." lol lol And she knows this, HOW? LOL though we all might need a laugh.

Terry - posted on 05/25/2010

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Always go with your feelings. But then ask them how they feel about it. NEVER let someone take them, like a store employee, unless you know them, but also, too many abusers in this world. Even men in ladies bathrooms. THink about your daughters, too.

[deleted account]

my two oldest are 11 and nearly 10 and i do the safer in pairs thing, i think if theres two of them theres less chance of someone doing anything, i let my 3 year old go with them too if he needs to go but i always wait outside the door. I wouldnt let a six year old go by himself though. One compromise is to let them use the disabled loos because they normally just have one door in and out and you can stand right outside.

Esther - posted on 05/25/2010

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hey :) my boys are 8 and 11 and if i'm out they still come in with me. i think in todays day and age its so dangerous with child predators i truly believe most people will understand that. thats just a safety point of view, growing up / responsibility wise prob about 10 is good to let them alone. when i feel safe like a restaurant or small shop center i let him go but with his brother (safer in pairs) tell them not to talk to anyone and i stand by door and tell them to yell for me if they need me. hope this helps

[deleted account]

My son is 8 soon to be 9 (Sept.) and I refuse to let him go in public places by himself!! Too many shady people running around loose!! What works the best is when "DAD" is along!!

[deleted account]

My kids were 8/9 years of age before I let them go to the mens room and even then I stood right at the door and if they hadn't come back out after 2-3 mins I would open the door and call for them.... Realistically who wants their kids using a public restroom anyways.... Only a few weeks ago I was out with my youngest three who are 5, 3 and 6 months old and my 3 year old needed to use the restroom and I hate public toilets that much I dropped everything I was doing and caught a cab home so she could go to the toilet :)

Samantha - posted on 05/24/2010

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I think Its when you think they are ready and they are ready themselves! you dont want to be stressing out! my sons seven and i still take him in

[deleted account]

i think it all depends upon where you are, how comfortable you feel, and how your son is.... if im out with my son who is 6 as well, and we are at like, walmart or target etc... he goes by himself, but i stand outside the door - so i can hear him and tell him to hurry it up lol unless i have to go too... then we go into the womens room- which he hates. lol but he is respectful and doesnt goof off... we do our business and get out...=) but, if we were at an amusement park or the zoo or someplace with a massive amnt of people, he goes with me..too many people...too many oppertunities for something to go wrong. =)

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