Neighbors harrassing my kids

Harla - posted on 05/18/2010 ( 24 moms have responded )

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We have all seen a cartoon where the little old lady or man scream everytime a child gets in their yard. I moved next door to them. My children (boys 6,8, and 10) catch the bus in my mom's driveway two houses from mine. The neighbors in the middle hate kids. Unfortunately, where I live there isn't a sidewalk or anything, and the road is pretty busy. When you do step off the road you are in grass and a ditch. I have told my children to stay in the ditch when walking to the bus stop or to Nanma's house. These women are video taping my kids and screaming at them everyday. They have three camaras that tape my house,my mom's house and the ditch, that are running nonstop. She has threatened to run them over if they are crossing her drive when she comes home. My kids feel like criminals and they are just trying to get to school. The sheriff said for us all to walk in the ditch, because the people out here drive too fast. Now these women are trying to have a civil suit against my family for trespassing. I refuse to let me kids walk in the street, and I don't even want to be in the street with my 3 boys and 4 month old daughter in a car seat carrier. Any advice??? Thanks, Harla

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Amy - posted on 05/21/2010

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First off, I would see if there is a "Peeping Tom" law in your area. The cameras in their home, pointed at yours, is the same as pointing a telescope. That is a violation of your privacy. If there is such a law, press charges.

Second, I would inform these people that they have crossed the line. If they do not cease all actions against your kids, they will have to deal with you, and it will not be pleasant.

If they sue you, counter sue on the grounds of violation of privacy and intentional infliction of emotional distress (if there is such a provision available in your area).

As much as I hate to be law suit happy, or to cause strife in a neighborhood, these people need to learn, by force if necessary, that their behavior is unaccaptable and will not be tolerated.

Remember, the most dangerous member of a lion's pride is not the lion, but the lioness, especially when defending their cubs.

[deleted account]

hmmmm well, if i were you... id start by filing complaints with your local township.... it seems to me, that if the road is busy, and there is no sidewalk and this lady is going to harrass you - then they should put a sidewalk or fence up so she can chill out (this lady sounds like a real B**tch though.) then id call the school and ask to have the busstop moved - and explain why! maybe they will conceede and pick the kids up at your house instead....
as for the civil suit, they can try, but i dont think any judge in their right mind would side with them if kids and a busy street are involved..... YOU can file a complaint because i dont think THEY can legally tape someone elses house without their permission....
as for the threats- everytime they make a threat id write it down and call the cops and report them for making threats to harm your children. basically what i am trying to tell you is it is time to be a b*itch back..... dont let them get away with making your kids feel bad.... =)

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[deleted account]

Video taping someone without their persmission is a no-no. There is the legal road of filing a complaint with the police for harassment and then there is the other option of cookies and a good sit down talk with the old bat. Hang in there. When I first moved into my home the neighbor came out and asked me to move my car because it was crushing the edge of his grass and it was bad for OUR home values. At the time I questioned what kind of neighborhood I had just moved into. But after I cleaned up my yard and talked to them a bit, they are happy to see the kids fetching balls out of their yard, etc. Good luck.

Sue - posted on 05/29/2010

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Seems like you and the bearded old goat taping you and your kids need to get together and sue the City for the unsafe walking conditions and demand a sidewalk.

Alternatively, you could always escalate matters by taping her taping and screaming at your kids and narrate the whole thing into your own video cam: like here are my kids walking along to get to the bus where there's no sidewalk and any minute now the old lady next door will come out and start screaming and taping them and threatening to run them over, if she's ever driving into her driveway when they're walking by....................and there she is now..........Then try to pick up on your voc. recorder every thing she says, and take her to court for the threats. Journal every time and date she screams anything at your kids, because it IS harassment. If it was really important to her, she would get a restraining order, but she hasn't, so she just has too much time on her hands and is amusing herself by harassing your kids. ..........The Bearded Old Goat!!

G'luck.

Geraldine - posted on 05/29/2010

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I would not do anything that might make an insane person run one of my babies over. Get an attorney, use your car to get the kids to school, avoid the neighbor, ignore her......tell hubby it is his job to stand up for his children, they learn from example....not being told what to do....besides, they are incapable of dealing with mentally ill adults.
We drive our 7 children to school and pick them up everyday because a 9 year old bully kept leaving huge bruises on our baby girl who was much smaller and weaker than him. We even had her moved to another classroom to avoid this bully. He has been hurting her since Kindergarten and they just finished 2nd grade. He apparently flunked somewhere along the line and is a very BIG boy who bullies everyone smaller than him.
We did this to protect our child and give her a more peaceful childhood. That boys mother is an idiot and no amount of standing up for my child or having her stand up for herself would have stopped the bullying.
I would hate to be watching Nancy Grace one night and see you or your children on the show as fatal victims of a crazy old lady that lived next door.

Susan - posted on 05/29/2010

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surely you can sue if they are recording you against your wishes and maybe you need to get together with all other moms in arrea and petition your local council to provide a footpath get local paper onto it if you get publicity for this it will go in your favour

Jessica - posted on 05/28/2010

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Look at the stalking laws in your area. Video taping you or your children (especially your kids!) will probably be covered. I had to get a restraining order against one of my former neighbors because she was harrassing me & my children while we walked to & from school. Here, all it takes is 2 witnessed forms of contact, only one that has to be deemed threatening (which, I take, running your children over is!). The last straw for me, was the witch calling my 5yr old daughter the "C" word...
I would call the sheriff to witness her harrassment a few times & hopefully something can be done! Maybe if you or your mom can walk with the kids that might help to? Or get the biggest, baddest biker friend you have to walk them through the ditch a few times?

[deleted account]

It takes more strength to let go of a bad situation for peace of mind,you dont have to give up completely but calming the situation by driving them to school as well as sorting the situation is best i feel.Children dont need to stand up to anyone and especially not adults like those people.Calming the situation and making it better for the children is wise while you and your husband take care of the legal side.



So hopefully in time the kids can walk to the bus stop again without any hassle..so your children will see mom and dad made it better for us, while still standing up to the bullies..:-)just my two cents not all will agree with that lol.

Harla - posted on 05/24/2010

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Everyone has great ideas!! I am in the process of getting that restraining order. Some of you have said to drive the kids to school or to my mom's house and avoid all of this. That sounds great to me, but it has caused some issues between me and my husband. He believes that doing that teaches the kids to just lay down when faced with a bully. He wants them to learn to stand up for their rights and not be pushed around by a tyrant. He is a military man who has been to Iraq twice, and he thinks this is one of those life lessons. Any comments? Harla

Linda - posted on 05/23/2010

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Do the things to her that she is doing to u and your family. Get a lawyer and see what he says. File an harrassment charge on her. She needs someone to slap her ass straight.

Erin - posted on 05/22/2010

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I am so sorry for the crazy neighbor lady. I live in Georgia and there is a law that says elementry school children that live on busy streets must be picked up at their drive way.

As far as the lady video taping your kids and your home, check to see what the laws in your area says. Also if there is no law forbiding it start video taping them so you can get any threats and violation of yours or your childrens civil rights.

I would also report to the law each and everytime she makes a threat. You need proof of the behavior before you can get it to stop. If you stay at home maybe you can drive your children to and from school everyday and if they are traveling between their grandparents and their yard they should have an adult there to protect them Unfortunitly there are a lot of crazy's in this world and you never know what they will do.

[deleted account]

wow. if that woman got in my face shed be on the ground and id be on my way to jail. i dont know how you kept your cool.

Steph - posted on 05/21/2010

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Glad the sheriff came out and said something. Maybe she will straighten out.

The video thing- I would check with the county attorney or state attorney general's office. I honestly don't think she can tape children in their yard or home. In some states, she could be prosecuted for being a peeping tom.

Good luck and don't stop fighting! Call the sheriff every time she harasses you. Also- find out the law about taping so you can record her yelling and such! Get the threats on tape (if it is legal) and you have a great case.

Amanda - posted on 05/21/2010

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Sorry for the double post, you could also call the sherriff and request that they come out every morning before your kids head to the stop to observe your neighbors behavior, because you are afraid for your childrens safety.

Amanda - posted on 05/21/2010

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I would double check on that video tape thing. At least here in Ohio you have to have a parents permission before taking pictures of of video taping their children in any way. Could you drive your kids to your moms house to catch the bus every day?

I would also check on who the county says owns that ditch. The power company more than likely has the right of way there since that is where phone lines etc. run.

Steffanie - posted on 05/21/2010

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Wow! It sounds like a horrible situation! I am sorry that your boys have to deal with that. Get a restraining order against her for harrassment! Start documenting her crazy behavior. Get the bus stop changes as soon as you can. What a crazy old bitch! You would think she would have better things to do with her time than harrass your children!

Harla - posted on 05/20/2010

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I am going to get the bus stopped moved this summer. We had another issue this morning. My kids went out to get on the bus and she was standing in the street waiting. She got in my face so I told the kids to run on to the stop. We got the sheriff out here AGAIN and they finally told her it is public property, they don't want people to be in the street. He told her to stay in the house in the morning and not even watch for the kids. She shouldn't be out there anymore now. We shall see!!! He said that my next step will be to get a restraining order on behalf of the kids. It would keep her from being able to speak to them. ANd the way it is supposed to work, if they are outside first then she can't come out to bother them. If she is outside first I will just keep the boys in the house( which is what I have been doing anyway except for going to school). As far as the sheriff knows she gets to video tape anything that she wants. It does make me feel creepy to know that some one is making a tape of the boys though. Thanks for listening!!!

Valerie - posted on 05/20/2010

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i would ask the city for help to consider sidewalks, i would ask the police to intervene with the threats to harm, i would ask a lawyer what your rights and actions are...they yelling is harmful to your children as is the safety...perhaps the bas could drop them off at home due to the lack of sidewalks and safety if you explain the situation to them...all the best

[deleted account]

WOW there crazy, folks.I feel for you the sound very harsh and unreasonable,life's too short to be so miserable over something so silly.I dont have any advice but id do what ever made life easier for me and my kids so id stay out of the ditch and hope the get a life soon..lol.

Karen - posted on 05/19/2010

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Even though she says that the ditch is her property she is likely wrong. We have a ditch at the front of our property that, even though I plant it with flowers, is actually a utility / cable easement and as such is not really my property. In fact, if the company wanted to come cut everyone one of my trees down that is perfectly legal. I would first check with your local government to verify if the ditch is an easement. If that isn't the case (and even if it is) then I would check out your laws as far as consent for taping. If you are in a 2 party state (I think that's the correct term) and you did not consent to the taping then she is in trouble and you can have the taping stopped. I would then ask nicely if the local sheriff to pay a call to the lady to discuss her harrassing / menacing behavior. Then I would have the bus stop moved.

Harla - posted on 05/19/2010

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She is saying the ditch is her property. She wants us to be in the street. As far as having the bus stop moved, I called the school board and I would need to meet with the highway department, and if they agreed my kids would be put on a different bus that they caught a block away. I called the police and the county sheriff says that he doesn't want the kids in the street, unfortunately everything else is a really gray area. Thanks for your ideas.

Angie - posted on 05/19/2010

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All you can do it walk in the ditch and stay off her property. While it seems unreasonable to me, it is her legal right to tell you to keep away. If she has video proof of your children being on her property it's quite possible she would win the lawsuit - the law is black and white. I think Heather has a wise idea, try to get the bus stop moved.

Dawn - posted on 05/19/2010

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I dont know how it is in your city. But in mine 3 feet from any road, no matter what the deed to your house says, is considered community property. I would look into the ordinances of your city and see what they say. If it is the same there as here (and im sure it is) you can actually file a suit for harassment. And as to the cameras pointed at your homes, that is considered an invasion of privacy. Again I would tell the lady if she does not remove them you will file a law suit. There is being a mean crotchety old lady, then there is just being mean to be mean.

Kristy - posted on 05/18/2010

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Geez! What a mean old lady!! That is ridiculous! Like your kids are hurting her grass or something! Are you home or do you work? If you work, does you mom work too? I was going to say if they could stay at gma's until you can pick them up, but that may not be an option. Are there other kids getting off at that bus stop? I wonder if you called your school district or attending a school board meeting if you could explain the situation and see if they would consider dropping your kids off at your drive. i think if you explained the danger of the road and the mean old lady threatening your kids, they might consider it. plus, I don't know how safe it is for them to walk in the ditch either. Car has a blow out and runs off the road they could be injured. Plus could be snakes.. stagnent water after rains..

I feel sorry for you. That is a tough situation.

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