Oy Vey, All of the Yelling

Qui - posted on 05/09/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )

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Most of the time...I am this rockin' kick butt super-mom, or so the world thinks, but what the world doesn't know is that that mom that always seems to have it together, packs the most envious worthy lunches, hosts the most, etc, has a raspy voice for a reason, she is ALWAYS YELLING!

Ok so some days, I feel like the worst parent in the world. I feel like all the good I do and provide is out the door because my patience is to short or something. My son is 7 years old, your average 1st grader, I guess you could say. Well, our days tend to go great but at some point, and I never know when to expect it, he is going to ruin it...because he doesn't seem to understand the concepts of Listening, follow simple directions, and that it. Seems simple enough to ME!!!!

I hate redundancy, so when I have to repeat myself more than once, I can feel myself getting irritated. I can feel the shortness of breath developing and I say a due (prayer) in hopes to stay calm sometimes. I am consistent at doing 1-2-3-Magic, but it seems more of an effort of persistence, as it seems he will get to 2, let a lot of time go by, then we have to start over for something unrelated., but related.

I grew up in a house of yelling and I guess that is why it comes so easily to me..it is what I know. I strain myself trying to keep from yelling at my son, as I don't want him to ever feel the way I felt when my mom yelled at me. He wears his heart on his sleeves. He is a good kid, but sometimes he can just be so obnoxious and he tends to challenge everything.

I have caught myself and stopped myself before yelling, as I realize, a lot of the things he is doing is normal for his age, also some of the things he is doing or not doing for that matter, is the fault of mine and my husband's for sheltering his world.

I need help though, I am all counted out and I know yelling solves nothing, but sometimes its the only way he seems to actually do exactly what I said, when I said, how I said...you get it? I feel HORRIBLE literally every single time and then I find myself apologizing to him and then being a hypocrite as i inform him that we are not supposed to yell and handle things in that manner...yet I keep doing it! I feel like an epic failure. HELP me, my throat is tired!

2 Comments

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Qui - posted on 07/08/2013

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It is usually when I am tired, which seems to be alot lately...and stressed! I should try the time outs though! That shall definitely go into affect!

Cecilia - posted on 05/09/2013

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I will also admit to being a yeller, more so when i have not slept enough. So tip one... sleep well.. eat well because low blood sugar can make you cranky. My other trick is to put myself into time out. My kids know if i say i'm in time out they leave me alone or mean mommy will quickly show up. ( they actually call that the bear)

Now you might wonder how does that work. Simple.you call a mommy time out and you put yourself in your room with no tv, radio, ect. just sit on your bed (or lay down) and take 10 minutes. He is 7 he can be left alone for 10 minutes. usually this gives them time to reflect on what is going wrong. Or simply get some quiet time with the tv.. either way who cares you need a minute.

I know sometimes i would start getting yell-y and not even realize it. This is where i asked the kids for help. Since you've told him yelling is wrong. Ask him to help you by pointing out when you are yelling. All he has to do is say "mommy, you're yelling" this cuts your brain off really quick because the guilt just smacks you. Just as we sometimes need to remind them they are getting a little off track by saying " you're not listening to me right now" they can help keep you on track.

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