Patience vs activities

Karen - posted on 12/02/2009 ( 10 moms have responded )

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I'm not a very patient mom, How do I get myself to do fun things and activities with my kids?

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Alichia - posted on 12/13/2009

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I really like your reply Sus! Acceptance and letting go...as soon as that is flagged for me it almost immediately brings relief! I too seem to forget that my son is only 5 and that he may have his own agenda on how things should go. What I've tried as well is taking turns ex: Mommys time on the computer then game time on the computer for you. Also my son is VERY busy and like most boys has lots of energy so I've gottan him into swimming lessons and soccer etc., builds his confidence and gives me a break, lets me enjoy watching him do something he likes from a safe distance.

Stacy - posted on 12/06/2009

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I am the same way. We have recentley started doing arts and crafts, the kids really like it, and I kinda do to. We just made picture frame magnets for the grandparents for christmas. Do you like games PS3 or stuff like that? I know it is hard to do, but sometimes we have to put our feelings aside, bit our tungse and try. It was very hard for me. We went and got memberships to the YMCA, and I also put them in activities that they love, and I make it a point to be sure I take them, and watch them. Dad does most the games at home, but I get to take them to the activities, and watch them grow and learn.
Maybe try putting them in activities, they have mommy and me swim classes at the YMCA, if there is one near you. Find things you do have patience for, and try to teach them. Or just put on a goffy face, and pretend. I like to eat kid stew, my kids get a kick out of that. I tell them I'm gonna brew me some kid stew, and chace them around the house.
Good Luck!

Angie - posted on 12/06/2009

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I don't like to do some activities with my children either. But one day while I was complaining about it I was told to suck it up, being a mother is really difficult some days and these are great ways for our children to learn valuable life lessons. I still don't enjoy some activities but I "suck it up" and do it anyway. Now that they're 9, 11, and 16 I enjoy these times more. Our son will soon be away from home and things will never be the same again, I have to enjoy every second I can with him and his sisters...

Karen - posted on 12/06/2009

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Thank you ladies, all your comments has really given me hope that its not too late to build a good relationship with my angels.I understand now what the meaning of childhood is,since I never really had that.I guess sometimes the past is still a big part of our future.But Sus, you right its time to let go and let them just be kids.
Regards
Learning mom

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This was hard for me for a long time, too, and still can be. What you really have to do is let go. It is fine to be perfectionist about your things, but you can't expect perfection from them. Take a deep breath and accept that they're going to play by their own rules. As long as all players can agree with each other, and take turns fairly, that's what counts in the long run. They're almost old enough to play together without your involvement - look forward to that. And don't play competitive games with them: let them help each other at memory or similar games, or do crafts and things (though it can be hard to let go on creative stuff, too, they have to learn on their own to color inside the lines, draw recognizable shapes or cut along the lines). I personally hate the role-plays like family, shopping or doctor, but that might work better for you. Give it a try!

Shannon - posted on 12/04/2009

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I have the same problem with my patience. I cant stand to try to do something with them only to end up with a temper tantrum or crying/whining. I have found some thing that I can do with each of them that also has my interest and we do that. My son and I go fishing together, my older daughter and I brush and ride horses together, and my youngest and I watch cartoons together. That way each gets mommy time and I get to form a relationship with each of them without losing my mind. They are also easier to deal with one on one.



For the longest time I felt guilty, because while I have the mother instinct when they are sick or hurt, they aggrivate me to no end the majority of the time. Just remember that no one is a perfect mother, and in time you will find things that will allow you to connect with each of them.

Karen - posted on 12/04/2009

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Thnx for the advice, my husband happens to be good with them aswell, but that kinda makes me jealous coz I would love to have such a relationship with them.No matter how hard I try, I just loose my temper and they end up watching Tv while I carry on with the days work.Its so depressing.

Jessica - posted on 12/03/2009

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I have exactly this problem as well. Luckily my husband is really good with kids, but I still feel as if I don't get to connect with them on the same level because I really do NOT enjoy trying to teach my six year old how to play Go Fish when she likes to make up rules and have them change every three minutes and halfway through the game she wanders off and starts playing with her dolls, and I don't do sitting on the floor and watching my 10 mo old hit a plastic car on the floor for 20 minutes very well at all either.



My parents tell me to wait til they are a little bit older, like 8-10 years, when they have each individually have the ability to sit and do things properly, according to the rules, and succeed. Then things like board/card/computer games, talking about books you read, or teaching them to cook etc work very well. I understand that and look forward to it becoming easier as they become more mature, but I still want to connect with them as much as I'm able throughout the full length of their childhood.



So far what I have personally done with my six year old is that I tell her to color something and she jabbers on endlessly while I'm doing something else in the same room - like the dishes or whatever - and she gives me her picture when she's done. We both feel like we've been doing something together when it's all done, and we've even got a momento to show daddy when he gets home from work. My baby, well, we get our connecting time when it's time to sleep or rest quiet like and sometimes he can sit on my lap and watch a video with me or listen to music and bounce. When they're big enough to go to a park or play area that's good too... you can sit and read a book while they run around in the sandbox, or be the overprotective watchful parent as they slide and climb and swing.

Karen - posted on 12/02/2009

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Liam is 4, and Taylor is 2.I have tried that, but I'm such a perfectionist, that we end up not wanting to play anymore.

Stacie - posted on 12/02/2009

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how old are they and what do they like to do maybe buy board games and have game night

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