PLEASE HELP!! Need advice on how to discipline a 4yr old boy!

Jessica - posted on 11/09/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My son is the middle of 3 children ages 6, he 4, 17 months (other two are girls) and has always had a bit of a defiant temper. However this year I feel it has become out of control. Last year we had a Tremendous amount of change in our lives and my son's behavior reflected it. However as we began to settle into our new home, school and family + new baby I felt that the tantrums and defiant behavior would resolve. Unfortunately is has not and I am at my wits end, tired of arguing and carrying a kicking, screaming and sometimes hitting child to his room. I have sought help from my pediatrician however was told in a rather rushed fashion to use timeouts. But how?!! Also, anyone used a behavior chart? Do they help and if yes, which one?

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Vanessa Jacky - posted on 01/22/2013

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I too have a 4 year old boy who was growing more defiant from 3 years old. And this is what I've learned just recently. Boys are flushed with testosterone when they turn 4, and then it turns off at 5 years old. 4 is the age when a child really turns into a boy. Including greater aggression. Is Daddy at home? If not, your son could use a wrestling buddy, or way to release this naturally occurring aggression in a positive way. Then, TIME OUTS: OK, so was just talking to my sister, a school principal about my son and time outs. She says, time outs should occur in a chair in a defined place in the house. (Ours is in the kitchen.) Always the same place. Not the bedroom, or in front of the TV. And, even though it will be tough at first. You pick him up kicking a screaming, put him in the chair, place your hands over his thighs tightly so he can't leave until he calms down. When he calms down you begin the timer, for 4 minutes. But the timer doesn't begin until he calms down. And all the while (I'm working on this one) try to remain calm. Then afterward, discuss why he went into time out. Hope it helps your precious son. And you. We've seen big improvements in the past month.

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