school retention

Cathy - posted on 03/19/2010 ( 3 moms have responded )

8

5

0

Ok here's my dilemma. I have a 6 year old with repaired cleft palate, apraxia, chromosomal defect that includes academic delays and social withdrawal. She's made progress in a charter school but is still behind. Retention now is a four letter word in schools because I think they get a slap on the wrists for holding kids back. Anyway my husband and I feel she should stay another year in her current grade(1st). School feels putting her with a new group of kids will make her more anxious( I kind of see this argument) and that they can modify lessons to send her on to 2nd. Any moms have experience with pro/cons on leaving their child back? Does it help to repeat information again? Really concerned about putting too much on a child that has had to overcome alot already. Help.
Cathy

3 Comments

View replies by

Nicole - posted on 03/26/2010

19

23

2

Hi, I went through this also, not with so much complications but retaining for a year. My son passed in 1st grade but I was told he’s behind in reading. I made the decision to have him repeat 1st grade because I felt that he would benefit more. Learning the same thins over again and him getting it better the next time around. I spoke to him about it and let him know I was doing to help him in the long run. He is now in 2nd grade...He has straight A's he made honor roll and I always tell him how smart he is just to keep his ego up and keep him motivated to always do his best!

Michelle - posted on 03/22/2010

2,191

23

1087

My son was not held back but started school in a school division where the cutoff to start school was before his bday and now is in one where the cutoff is after his bday so technically he is a year older then most of the kids in his class and I was concerned because I did not want him teased for being the older kid and his teacher told me that because he is older he is finding things much easier then the younger kids and that to me is positive if your daughter stays back now in gr. 1 she may feel more confident being the older child and because she is repeating stuff she has already learned she will get higher grades and that is very good for a childs self esteem kids don't remember who was held back in kindergarten or gr. 1 as by gr.6 or 7 they all have their friends and no one cares how old anyone is I think that if your daughter is anxious about school I would hold her back make sure she has the same teacher as new kids cause less anxiety then new grown ups in a kids life.....hope this helps

Kat - posted on 03/22/2010

8

8

2

I wish I could offer you some advice, but, I am in a similar boat. My daughter, who has never had any problems and was a star student in Kindergarten is about to flunk 1st grade. She has had some problems with bullies, switched schools early in the year, and just refuses to TRY. I am freaking out because (although I think that another year in 1st would be beneficial), I don't want her labeled, by teachers, or later, by peers.Her teacher assures me that the parents of every child she has ever held back have been grateful in the end, but I don't think she is there when the kid gets into 6th or 7th grade and kids are laughing because they failed the 1st grade. I have tried doing extra work at home with her, and she obviously understands the subjects, but when she hits the classroom, she stops caring. I'd appreciate some advice as well.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms