Secrets that my 13 yo is keeping from me

Joann - posted on 06/13/2017 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My 13 yo daughter has multiple secret accounts... even one on pornhub. I found out when I was cleaning her room I found her diary behind a picture frame and read it. She doesn't know this and I found out she has accounts on Yahoo! Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and as I mentioned above, PornHub. Should I get her a therapist?

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April - posted on 06/19/2017

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Hello. I think a therapist would really help. A therapist can be neutral ground where you and your daughter can discuss these things. This really does need to be discussed, because chances are that this is just the tip of the iceberg. It is best to bring it out into the light, so it can be worked through. Praying for you!

Sarah - posted on 06/16/2017

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My oldest is 9 and so not quite in this situation but I'm recalling back to when I was 13 and I was very secretive and deceptive online as well. I made a Myspace (back in the day) without my mom's permission and Yahoo chat was really big back then. I remember being exposed to a lot of crazy stuff on Yahoo chat at that age and I was doing terrible things, probably equivalent to a pornhub account, but looking back I wish I had been more regulated. It's good that you found these things out for yourself but I doubt she'll be pleased if she finds out how you came about this information and may become resentful, act out more. A therapist might help but she might feel attacked or like something is wrong with her or that you think something is wrong with her. Have you tried sitting down and talking first? She'd probably be more inclined to speak to you than a therapist unless you two aren't specifically close then maybe a stranger would be better. If my mom had confronted me about the things I was doing online at 13, I would have preferred to speak to a therapist because I wasn't really good at talking like that with my mother. Also if you don't allow those social media sites maybe ask her to delete them until a later age or if you let her keep them she has to let you have the password and the ability to monitor it if you ever see the need? Hope this helps.

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