SEVEN YEAR OLD/SCHOOL ISSUES

Mary - posted on 09/27/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )

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I would like to get your input on the following issues I am presenting with: I have a 7 y/o little girl. She currently attends 2nd grade. While schools years for me have been nothing but pure hell, bullying, and an emotional roller coaster--I have learned there are good/bad teachers, and on a daily basis I try to balance that out. There is prejudice with students/parents, again I try to balance that out. So for a long story, short. My child has been labeled from bully to monster to thief, you name it. While I have proof and with discussion with other students and parents it was one of those situations that unfortunately the homeroom teacher just did not like my child or me for the fact that I always stand by my daughters side. In the end her report card, read as a criminal record. She is very smart and a good kid...in the end, we have moved towns and therefore have a new school this year. I was already warned that she would be labeled with whatever information the former school/teacher posted on her report card. I was told to prepare myself. Well school started and now after over a month, she was sent to the office twice in one day: Here are the scenarios I was given. I even recorded my daughter after asking her what happened several times (of course her not knowing), to capture the distress all of this is causing her and how it is affecting her emotionally. 1st scenario: In line for lunch, a classmate was in front of her. He dropped his "lunch card" and the rule is that you have to go to the back of the line. So my daughter moved one step forward. The classmate after picking up his card, pushed her and caused her to bump into the person that was behind her. She immediately looked at him and said "sorry." The boy said it's ok. Then the classmate again pushed her. She reported it to the "lunch teacher" and was sent to the office. The boy causing the incident, which she reported, was not sent to the office or questioned. He of course said "she did it and is lying." 2nd scenario during recess. A female classmate, while they were in line waiting for jump rope, budged in front of my daughter. My daughter said hey the rule is not to do that. The girl said I don't care. When my daughter said she would report it to the teacher, the girl got in her ear and yelled (NOOOOO). Then after my daughter went to report it to the teacher after she yelled, the girl said my daughter was lying. IN the end she was written up 3 times "behavior reports" and was told by the principal, teacher and lunch teacher: I BELIEVE THE OTHER KIDS BECAUSE THEY HAVE BEEN HERE LONGER THAN YOU AND YOU ARE A NEW STUDENT. Now clearly, isn't there something wrong with this? She is distraught about the whole situation. Going back to the things she remembers from the school before. What do I do? I will make it worse if I confront the teacher/principal about why they would say something like that, immediately unjustifiably accuse her of something, and the other students were not reprimanded for anything. This is what is bothering me. HELP ME PLEASE, I don't want to create more issues. While I have not read the report (she forgot it on her desk as her backpack is in her locker), I can only imagine what it would say. THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 10/01/2013

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Sounds like its time for you to do some volunteering in the classroom so that you can get an idea of what exactly is going on.

There are always two sides to every story, and we always want to back up our kids. I've learned the hard way that sometimes I don't get the whole story out of my kids, and when I go bulling into the school to defend my babies, and get the REST of the story...sometimes I end up with egg on my face, and apologizing. I've found that the best defense is to fully research what's going on. Read all of the notes home. Schedule meetings with teachers and administrators to address the issues.

Never, ever in my life have I heard a school administrator tell a student (a 7 yo at that) that they believed one over the other because of how long a kid had been in the school, so that's what leads me to believe that you need to look further into the situation. You don't need to go in accusing anyone of anything, just tell the administrator that you'd like to discuss what happened and see if you can sort it all out, so that you can help your daughter handle things.

Yes, you're right, if you go in taking them to task for what you THINK they said, it will make things worse. But, if you go in with the attitude of "I need to get the rest of the story, so that I can handle it appropriately", you'll get results. And, as I said, perhaps some volunteer time in the classroom wouldn't hurt either.

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