teens smoking pot

Angela - posted on 08/12/2009 ( 5 moms have responded )

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what do you do about teens sneaking out at night to smoke pot.

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Lina - posted on 08/12/2009

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I don't agree with Carianne because my sisters and I would smoke pot when we were younger and when my mom would ask questions or try talking to us, we would never open up, especially about something that would get us into trouble. Just like Heather suggested, try the tough love approach. Not turning them in, but get aggressive, put your foot down. Buy drug test kits and test them when they get home. Tell them that you need to know where they are going and with who. As long as you do your part, they will be responsible for their own actions, then if they continue, you can involve the police. They might need a scare. Drive them down the "bad neighborhoods" and let them see what drugs lead to. I live in a bad neighborhood and everytime I see a homeless person or drive by a bunch of drunkards, I point them out to my children and tell them "thats what drugs and alcohol leads to, do you want to end up like that? Do you want to live in a nice house or an ugly rundown shack?"

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Christy - posted on 08/13/2009

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I would go with the tough love approach. When they reach teenage years they are starting to develop their own independence and will go into shut down mode when you start asking questions. Another approach is to confront them, calmly, and tell them that it's not ok with you, and that you need to understand their reason for doing this. They will resent you at first because they will look at it as an intrusion into their personal life, but they need to understand that you have their best interest in mind, and that it is your job to look after them because they aren't an adult yet. If they wont talk to you, then maybe taking them to the police department and asking an officer to have a chat with them about the situation would be more productive. Don't threaten, take action. As far as telling your teen that doing drugs will cause you to be homeless or that they'll end up living in a bad neighborhood... that isn't realistic. Yes, it sometimes happens, and yes that is where a lot of drug deals take place, but I'm willing to bet that drugs are not the reason most of the people live there. Circumstances in life don't always happen the way we want them to.

Jodi - posted on 08/13/2009

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Take them to a drug seminar. Seriously, my parents took me to one when I was probably about 13 or 14 (can't remember exactly) and some of the things the presenter told us and showed us scared the absolute crap out of me. To this day it sticks in my head. It was so powerful I never took the attitude of "it can't happen to me".

Carianne - posted on 08/12/2009

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Teens are tough, I feel for you and know that it will be my turn soon. You can try a couple of different things to make it stop but I would suggest taking a good look at why it started first. Pot (& alcohol) are used by a lot of teens to "self medicate". Feeling awkward at a party?? Have a beer. Stressed out because of mid-terms?? Smoke a joint. Being bullied?? Have some of this and it wont matter anymore.

Sometimes it's just a social thing, it makes them "feel good" but sometimes it's hiding something deeper.

Don't attack the action (the pot smoking) that will only put your child on the defensive and end any hope of a conversation. Don't even mention the pot. Take some quiet time (plan it but let it seem spontaneous, if that makes any sense) talk one-on-one. "You seem different lately, is everything OK??", "Is everything ok with boyfriend/girlfriend??" A couple of questions then let it drop, try again a couple of days later. "Are you sure everything is OK?? Something seems different. Are you stressed out about.......??" It may take a while but if you can open up dialogue you may be able to deal with this problem.

Heather - posted on 08/12/2009

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Well, if you want to take the total tough love approach, you could turn them in to the police.

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