Terrible 4's???

Kelly - posted on 09/10/2010 ( 5 moms have responded )

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I have g/b twins who just turned 4 a couple of weeks ago. People always say that it's the terrible 2's, but then the 3's came. They seemed a little worse because their language skills were developing and they were trying out their independence. I thought when they are getting older, that they will grow out of it because they are understanding rules more; however, things seem so much worse. My daughter is constantly screaming, demanding, throwing tantrums. Her brother then follows suit. Is this common for 4 year olds? Which age group seems to be the most difficult for you? I'm getting stressed and wondering if it's something I did to make her feel like she can get whatever she wants. We try to enforce the rules, give consequences, but it just doesn't seem to phase her.

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Gabriela - posted on 09/11/2010

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oh my God! my son is turning 4 in a few days... and, boy! now I´m scared. I thought the worst have passed already... but there´s more???!!! mmm... perhpas I should take a vacation of, what? a full year? I guess that since they do understand more and more each day, ther need more things to stay busy. When he gets bored, chaos sets in. Just give him a little attention, and his behaviour improves a lot. He´s also demanding a lot of stuff, but reality must have its place, so I tell him that he can´t have everything he wants, because if he did, there wouldn´t be money for food, school, clothing, and a lot of other things needed around the house. I try, I really do try, not to pay attention if he´s trhowing a tantrum... but a screaming beast like child is not easy to ignore, soooooo... I try to calm myself, and wait for him to calm down so he can listen to what I have to say. And whenever he does something good, something by himself, I praise him. Someone around here said that there are the terrible 2´s, the awful 3´s, the horrible 4´s and by age 5 they know everything... and then come the 8´s... guess we have to remember that, first of all, we love them, and hope that gives us the strength to go forward. Funny story: I tell my son everything he does has consequences, and he said: "Not what I do!" So much for my parenting skills, ha?

Shannon - posted on 09/10/2010

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Its's the fact that we have spoiled them from the time they are born, that makes them think we will give them whatever they want, my 4 year old is the same way. We just have to teach them they can't always get whatever they want no matter how much they pout or cry.

Jane - posted on 09/10/2010

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They are expressing themselves - very common in this age - basically they want to be heard. There is an anagram called "HALT" Hungry, Angry, Lonley, Tired"



Kids at this age tend to act out when they are not stimulated - too much TV.. not enough excercise... try replacing TV with playdates and sport like activities... make them too tired to act out! When they do act out - sit them in the naughty spot for 4 minutes - one minute per age. Give them a rewards chart and have them compete against each other to see who can gain and keep more stars -- start them out with 5 stars as incentive... when they reach a desire goal of say 10 stars - they get to a reward - a movie or special time with you..... try not to make the reward a toy!!

Dara - posted on 09/10/2010

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I found that 4 was the worst for me so far. My daughter is 5 and 1/2 now. She was an angel until she turned 4, and then listening went out the window. We were just really consistent in her timeouts etc, and she has pretty much grown out of it. 4 can be pretty tough, but stick it out!

Christy - posted on 09/10/2010

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4 y/o stage is kinda like 2 y/o stage; they both have a lot of energy, but their attention span is larger. Maybe try to keep them busy & engaged in a lot of activities. Don't give in to the tantrums & explain that they need to use words... they won't get their way & friends won't want to play with them. Over time with patience & consistency it will pass.

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